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Animal deaths

(14 Posts)
Whyarealltheusernamestaken Wed 13-Jun-18 01:26:27

Am I weird, I hurt when I lose a pet, more than a distant relative. My dog hurt worst of all sad. He was family; my baby sad

user546425732 Wed 13-Jun-18 01:29:54

It's hard when you lose a pet, yes.

SemperIdem Wed 13-Jun-18 01:35:36

My paternal grandfather was one of 10, my maternal grandmother one of 6. My other two grandparents were each one of 4. I never met all those great aunts and uncles, never mind their children and grandchildren.

There is one great aunt I grieved, because she looked after me when I was little. We lost touch as I got older and I will always be sorry she never met my daughter, she deserved to.

The rest? They’re strangers.

pinkgirl1234 Wed 13-Jun-18 02:24:16

If you're weird so am I.

agnurse Wed 13-Jun-18 04:33:09

It's very hard. My dad has had to put a few of our family pets down since I was a kid (he is a licensed veterinarian) and I know it was hard on HIM. A couple of years back my parents had to put down one of their cats as she was old and had health issues. My dad had been especially fond of her and Mom told me he had a hard time with it.

KC225 Wed 13-Jun-18 05:01:29

If a distant relative you barely knew or rarely met dies, its OK to feel sad for them and there loved ones. Grieving for your own loved ones two or four legged will always hit harder. Pets in our household are one of the family. They live and love beside us. When they die the they leave love shaped holes in our lives. It is natural to grieve for those you love.

SharronNeedles Wed 13-Jun-18 06:16:46

People without pets often don't realise what pets mean to us as owners.

NewYearNewMe18 Wed 13-Jun-18 06:18:49

Distant relatives are just that , distant. Why would you grieve over your Great Aunt Mary, who you've never met, as opposed to your hamster who lives with you?

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam Wed 13-Jun-18 07:46:13

Not weird at all. I’d say most people feel very little about the death of a distant relative, they’re basically at the level of acquaintance if they’re a distant relative so there’s often no real grief or sadness there beyond a bit of ‘oh that’s sad’ and possible concern for the closer relatives to that person.

Whereas an animal you live with is completely different. They’re more akin to being your child. You have such a special bond and spend so long with them. I was bereft when my cats died, absolutely devastated beyond belief. When my grandparents died I was sad for my parents to lose their parents, but I felt nothing personally.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 13-Jun-18 07:51:18

Of course it's completely normal.
You're bound to feel the loss more of a pet that you've nurtured from a tiny adorable baby than you are the passing of Aunt Maude who lives in America and you've met once.

Idontbelieveinthemoon Wed 13-Jun-18 07:54:20

The thing is, distant relatives don't really make much impact on your life in significant ways. Pets can, and do.

Our dog is the only person in our house who is consistently in love with me to the point of madness; she sits in the window and waits for me, tail wagging, when I put out the bins. I've never known love like it; she's the happiest, most joyful thing I've ever known, and all she ever wants is to lie next to us and have a belly rub.

Our DC have grown up with our cats and dog, they've snuggled up with them when they're sad, played with the dog on holidays all over the UK and the animals are tied in to so many memories; the day one of the cats sneaked into the boot of the car and arrived in Gower with us (3 hours drive away) and DH had to drive him all the way home while the DCs and I laughed til we cried, the time the dog fell off a harbour wall and we learned she could swim. The adventures pets bring stay with you a lifetime.

Lycanthropology Wed 13-Jun-18 07:57:22

Yep, completely normal. There are people in my family who have died, and it's sad, but when my dog goes I'll be devastated.
I don't think you need feel guilty about this, OP (I don't); just don't mention it to other relatives of the deceased!

echt Wed 13-Jun-18 08:50:01

Of course it hurts, and no reason to feel guilty; they've been with you every day of their lives, in a way that distant human relations haven't.

Having taken DD through the PTS of our cat who was older than she was; her own father's death (not PTS, obvs); I'm not getting her ready for the demise of El Poocherino. sad

One thing about the echtcat that sticks in my mind was that, for complicated reasons he was kept on ice until we could get him for burial. We thawed him out in the garage, and I was filled with an utter dread of him. I think because we'd had him so long, he had a personality, quite unlike a dead possum say, more like a person, in the way we invest our beloved animals with character. I was as cautious approaching him as I've been at funeral homes to view the dead. The same idea that they are still somehow there. I had a terrible dream that same night that he had come back. No idea why it should be frightening as he was so loved.

echt Wed 13-Jun-18 08:52:07

Now, not not!!!!

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