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AIBU to think baby shouldn't be kept up late?

(28 Posts)
whoopsiedaisies Tue 12-Jun-18 22:28:44

At a wedding soon and MIL keeps telling me that my 8mo should stay for the whole shebang- it finishes at 1am with fireworks, which she also feels baby should stay for.

My boy won't sleep if he can hear us talking from two floors away, there is no way he will sleep during a band and the general noise of a wedding, and I also think he shouldn't have to. We have a cottage near the venue that I was planning to go back to with DS about 9pm so he can get some sleep. Aibu? Mil thinks that I am being really antisocial and should 'lighten up' - baby will be fine etc etc.

angelikacpickles Tue 12-Jun-18 22:30:22

I would play it by ear and see how he is. If the cottage is nearby then you can duck off whenever he starts to get cranky. Your MIL is unlikely to want him to stay around if he is wailing.

whoopsiedaisies Tue 12-Jun-18 22:31:22

It's a 20 min taxi to the place we are saying

Ohyesiam Tue 12-Jun-18 22:31:32

Wait and see how he copes, he might love it or be overwheaed by 9.

Semster Tue 12-Jun-18 22:34:16

Mil thinks that I am being really antisocial and should 'lighten up' - baby will be fine etc etc.

I'd hand baby over to her around 8pm and go off and have a great time with your OH.

whoopsiedaisies Tue 12-Jun-18 22:35:44

@Semster good plan wink

RedForFilth Tue 12-Jun-18 22:35:46

As pps have said, wait and see. You seem to have quite a negative attitude towards it all, he might love it!

whoopsiedaisies Tue 12-Jun-18 22:36:39

@RedForFilth - perhaps I do! I just think he should be snuggled up nice and warm in bed in the evenings... I thought I was going to be so relaxed as a mum but nope haha

QueenB14 Tue 12-Jun-18 22:41:08

I actually agree with you. It's a long day with lots of people around and lots of stuff going on. An overtired and overwhelmed baby is no fun for anyone really. And it will be you that deals with the fallout not her

Yanbu

LooksBetterWithAFilter Tue 12-Jun-18 22:42:25

I was just the same when dd was a baby. We got invited to my cousins wedding when she was 9 month old. She was a good sleeper went down at the same time every night and stayed asleep.
I was sure that if I took her to our room she’d drop off easily. How mistaken I was. She was the life and soul of the party there are many lovely photos of her in her jammies being danced around by all the family with her laughing and smiling. She finished the party like a pro in the end and went happilymoff to sleep when it finished.
I thought I’d be super chilled too but the reality is I was a bit of s nightmare which I realised by the time ds2 and 2 came along and was far more chilled with them. I look back at some of pfb moments with dd and laugh at myself.

Monty27 Tue 12-Jun-18 22:43:39

semester I like your thinking grin
However op you might find a quiet corner but then what's the point of staying?
Why would you want a cranky baby at a social event anyway?
Take ds back to bed otherwise you will totally break his routine.
Then the next morning you can bring him back to the family when he is full of beans mwahahaha grin

Wearywithteens Tue 12-Jun-18 22:45:39

When my babies were 8months I would have made every excuse to miss out on a long night and just wanted an early night snuggling with my babies...now I am ‘old’ I can see your MIL’s POV - it won’t matter to the baby in the long term and it means you and baby are out in the world and socialising with family at a special occasion. I now know that those times don’t come along very often and you should make the most of them...hard to feel that when you are knackered/in love with your new babe....

gryffen Tue 12-Jun-18 22:50:08

Totally get it

Maybe a baby set of ear defenders would be an option?

Let the wee one fall asleep then pop them on (our daughter has them and they are great).

If not, mama (you) knows best.

RedForFilth Tue 12-Jun-18 23:13:20

But they will spend every other night snuggled in bed! I am aware I probably have a very different attitude though. I lovw family time and socialising and gatherings but I'm also a single parent so I've always had relaxed routines!

CoughLaughFart Tue 12-Jun-18 23:47:51

I don’t really see why your mother-in-law is bothered. Is it that she wants all the extended family to have the chance to see your baby? Surely they could be done with be around 9 or 10.

Your son won’t remember the fireworks, so if you’re not bothered about missing them, go back as planned.

Fruitcorner123 Tue 12-Jun-18 23:53:16

I can't believe the number of peole who are saying wait and see! You are planning to leave at 9pm not 5pm, that's fine.

By 9pm the bride and groom will be busy on the dance floor with their friends. They won't be offended if you leave and they won't miss you or your baby ( no offence) if that's the decision you are happy with then stick with it. Keeping a baby up for fireworks at 1am is just ridiculous.

Pengggwn Wed 13-Jun-18 00:08:37

Sod that. No way would I keep a cranky baby out until 1am to placate anyone. DD would have been hysterical.

beingsunny Wed 13-Jun-18 00:50:01

I've done this a few times, when they get overtired I would throw them in the pram and do a few laps outside, he will be so exhausted he will probably sleep the rest of the night regardless of noise wink

AmazingPostVoices Wed 13-Jun-18 01:10:10

It is nothing to do with your MIL. She has no need to be involved in the decision making.

Just slip off very quietly at whatever time suits you. No one will even notice, not even your MIL if you are clever about it.

The bride and groom certainly won’t care.

Cantaana Wed 13-Jun-18 01:28:09

I'd just see how DS got on, we did a wedding with DD at a similar age. I took her for a power nap after the food at about 5 and she then lasted til 11.30 before she hit a wall.

If you are in the UK the fireworks should be finished by 11pm anyway as it's against the law to let them off later than that (assuming the wedding doesn't coincide with any new year or diwali).

Semster Wed 13-Jun-18 01:29:07

TBH I wouldn't keep myself up for the fireworks, unless I knew someone would be taking the baby off my hands when he woke up at whatever godawful time that turned out to be.

Caterina99 Wed 13-Jun-18 04:15:20

There’s no way I’d keep my 8 month old baby up til 1am for some fireworks, that’s just ridiculous.

I’d probably see if she’d sleep in the pram at the wedding reception, but if she was losing it then we’d have to go. Who wants a crying overtired baby at a party anyway?

Mummyoflittledragon Wed 13-Jun-18 04:56:53

Do what you want to do. Ignore your mil. If you’re anything like me, you’ll want to go to bed yourself.

BlueUggs Wed 13-Jun-18 05:09:18

Your child doesn't sleep if he hears you talking?! What do you do at bedtime then?

Saracen Wed 13-Jun-18 05:10:36

Babies are all different, and you know your baby best. One of mine was absolutely fine with staying up all hours - if she got tired she would just nod off no matter what was happening around her, and if she was shortchanged of sleep one day she would sleep in the next morning. My other child would have suffered pretty badly if kept up until 1am and would then have been miserable for several days; no way would I have considered such an arrangement as it would have been cruel to her.

Whichever way you play it, your baby will have had a good slice of the action and everyone will have a good chance to enjoy his company. You decide what you think is best. However, given that your baby doesn't sleep where there is noise, I do think you will have to plan it somewhat rather than playing it by ear. If you call the taxi when he starts to get crabby, then probably by the time it arrives and you've made the 20 min drive back to the cottage he will have got his second wind and won't get to sleep for ages after that anyway.

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