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To be effed off at a friend's Facebook status

(115 Posts)
BuggedLife Tue 12-Jun-18 20:53:05

Gushing about how hard her partner provides for her and their child, they receive no handouts and how even though he works a lot, the time he has with them is quality time.

Innocent in itself however what is hidden here is that she doesn't mention the fact that she also has DLA for her child and a DLA car (with her driving lessons and test recently funded by the DLA) and that only last month a case against her benefit fraud was dropped - benefit fraud to the tune of £11,000 over the space of about a year which although the case was dropped, she had claimed the fraud (I know this for a fact).

She lives on a newly built housing estate but only got that because she left their private rented home when they split up and got social housing which was a rubbish house but then managed to get a new build social housing house on a new affluent private housing estate due to her child's needs.

In this status she had the cheek to say they don't get any handouts! So what was the extra benefits they claimed!!!?!!!

FWIW I believe DLA is a right no matter what a persons income? I don't begrudge that & she is a good Mother to her child and meets the childs needs well. This is not bashing DLA claimers.

BuggedLife Tue 12-Jun-18 20:55:06

Also I think if you have so much money - buy your own house or private rente/ instead of taking up a social housing home!

Shumpalumpa Tue 12-Jun-18 20:57:31

I would comment that

'Handouts is an offensive term for benefits and you are fortunate that you receive Disability Living Allowance, which is also a benefit, not a handout.'

Why are you even friends with her?

NotSinisterAtAll Tue 12-Jun-18 20:58:38

Sounds like she is trying to convince herself she’s “not like the others” and is looking for self justification.

MissVanjie Tue 12-Jun-18 20:59:21

Yanbu to be annoyed at gushy/smug fb statuses in general

The fraud/dla/social housing thing is none of ya business though - if the case was dropped it was dropped. I can’t bring myself to begrudge people stuff like this.

Just hide/unfriend her

FissionChips Tue 12-Jun-18 20:59:28

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Hermagsjesty Tue 12-Jun-18 21:00:48

I have a pathological hatred of anyone who describes benefits as “handouts”. They’re not. We’re very lucky to live in a society where they’re available and we demonise that at our cost. So, yes her phrasing would annoy me too.

Whirlytastic Tue 12-Jun-18 21:01:13

If her child qualifies for DLA, including a car - which means they get higher rate mobility allowance - their lives can't be easy. Why the hostility?

Ohyesiam Tue 12-Jun-18 21:02:06

Sounds like she is trying to convince herself that all is well.

WanderingTrolley1 Tue 12-Jun-18 21:02:57

It doesn’t sound like you like her very much.

werideatdawn Tue 12-Jun-18 21:04:40

Benefit fraud not okay but you sound really quite nasty.
As PP said her child gets that level of DLA and is eligible for a car, home suitable for their needs etc. I doubt life is all that easy for her, she's probably trying to make herself feel better. Don't begrudge that.

Whirlytastic Tue 12-Jun-18 21:05:01

DLA is hard to get for a child. Higher rate mobility allowance is only for children with the most limited mobility. I object to the implication that people get it without real need. Perhaps you aren't saying that. But plenty of people do say it.

SluttyButty Tue 12-Jun-18 21:05:47

Do you have any idea how hard lives are to get dla? I'll happily swap you my child who gets dla. The money pays for the shoes and clothes he destroys regularly. The washing from bed wetting. The smashed up house because he can't control meltdowns.

Dla isn't a handout. It's a payment to help with the extra costs of a child with a disability.

Whirlytastic Tue 12-Jun-18 21:09:38

It's a special kind of mean to have a go at someone claiming DLA for their child. The child is entitled to it because of their disability, regardless of parents' income. Because disability costs, in so many ways. So fuck off actually with talk of 'handouts'. The lives of parents of disabled children are limited, and options can be very restricted. Thank your lucky stars it isn't you.

HellenaHandbasket Tue 12-Jun-18 21:09:56

You sound like a dick.

Sayhellotothesun Tue 12-Jun-18 21:11:36

Read back what you wrote and look at what it says about YOU first.

icelollycraving Tue 12-Jun-18 21:11:39

I fell out with a friend for a goady fb post. She said something about people who don’t work being lazy, fat, entitled etc. I replied my stance on it and unfollowed her.
Your reply depends on if you want to stay friendly. If you comment, you will look bitchy and unkind.
The best you could do is say how pleased you are that life is looking rosy right now or tbh even better ignore.

KittyHawke80 Tue 12-Jun-18 21:12:01

She thinks she was investigated because someone tipped them off. She’s sending a message.

anyquestionsquestion Tue 12-Jun-18 21:12:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hotdogjumpingfrogs Tue 12-Jun-18 21:12:20

Do you know how hard it is having a disabled child. What do you think she has been given a golden ticket. That 'handout' is for her child's additional needs. She's very lucky her husband works hard to support her as there is so little support for parents of disabled children, and she is completly justified for be proud of him for doing so.

Get off your high horse judging someone who has been dealt a shit hand.

Oh and too fucking right the gov paid for her to learn to drive - How's she going to get around with a disabled child without driving.

Belindabauer Tue 12-Jun-18 21:14:41

I can't abide anyone who posts this type of gushing crap on social media.

Whirlytastic Tue 12-Jun-18 21:15:59

Agree belinda that gushing fb posts are grim, but having a go at the claiming of DLA is unfair.

JessicaJonesJacket Tue 12-Jun-18 21:16:00

I think she's written the post because she was being investigated. She probably thinks whoever reported her will read her status update and deduce she wasn't fraudulently claiming.

MissVanjie Tue 12-Jun-18 21:16:14

It’s funny how many people “know for a fact” the ins and outs of the financial affairs of their “friends” (who seem to be people they don’t actually like very much, yet inexplicably have on all their social media etc) int it tho

Whirlytastic Tue 12-Jun-18 21:21:36

Also - the suggestion that they should rent privately - may not be as simple as you self-righteously think. If the child gets higher rate mobility allowance, they may well need a house that's adapted for them. That's next to impossible in the private rental sector.

Can't get my head around begrudging a family with a disabled child the help they need to get by. If the family couldn't cope, I promise you it would cost the taxpayer a whole lot more to look after the child in care.

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