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AIBU?

to wonder why some posters on MN are so nasty?

111 replies

user1485342611 · 12/06/2018 19:46

All up for a good debate, and a disagreement about views and opinions.

But some posters are so nasty. Either overtly - personal insults, comments like 'every road has someone like you' which I saw on a thread recently and so on; or deliberately doing the 'look how tolerant I am and how I'm very intolerantly insulting you whilst beamingly being tolerant' type posts.

I've seen a lot of this lately and it's beginning to really put me of MN.

OP posts:
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Vanillamanilla1 · 12/06/2018 19:47

People on MN wouldn't say this in real life.. I believe they hide behind a keyboard and say thing online they'd love to say in RL but don't have the balls to say

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ShweShwe · 12/06/2018 19:47

I believe Netmums may be more to your tastes OP

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PurpleDaisies · 12/06/2018 19:48

And you think threads like this make any difference?

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ShweShwe · 12/06/2018 19:49

Rubbish vanilla. Absolute tosh.

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TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 12/06/2018 19:49

Because the general intellect of posters appears to have gone downhill recently.

Less of the 'off to Netmums with you' as it appears that most of what we used to sneer about on Netmums is already resident here.

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user1485342611 · 12/06/2018 19:50

Not sure what your point is PurpleDaisies? Confused

OP posts:
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NewDOOFUSfor18 · 12/06/2018 19:50

Round of applause for shwe there who has single-handedly manage to prove a point by reply number 3 😂😂

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PurpleDaisies · 12/06/2018 19:51

What’s the point in starting a thread like this?

The people who are arseholes will continue to be arseholes.

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user1485342611 · 12/06/2018 19:52

Yes, but no harm in discussing the problem.

OP posts:
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ALittleAubergine · 12/06/2018 19:54

To get a reaction usually.

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x2boys · 12/06/2018 19:54

it depends what boards you go on aibu can be very judgemental sometimes particularly on emotive topics, chat less so but MN can be very supportive on support boards

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redexpat · 12/06/2018 19:57

One person's different viewpoint is another's being nasty.

It is easier to write stuff on an internet forum than to say something face to face, possibly because many of us have been socialised to be nice, not cause a fuss, not to disagree.

It's usually obvious if its one person being deliberately obtuse or nasty. That makes it easier to ignore.

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Natasha2 · 12/06/2018 20:02

Because they are bitter and twisted and not happy in their own lives. If they were happy they wouldn't be nasty. I just feel sorry for them and ignore them.

It's like when you're driving and you let someone out but they don't thank you. My DH gets upset but I don't even look to see if they have thanked me or not as I genuinely don't care.

If they have thanked me, then fine. If they haven't then they must have a miserable life and I do actually feel sorry for them.

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SailOnSea · 12/06/2018 20:02

I've noticed this a lot more recently and it's really off putting. The completely unwarranted persona attacks are just awful especially when the poster is actually looking for advice and open to it! The classic "you sound selfish, unpleasant etc". Just why? It's lowered the tone. There I said it.

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ElChan03 · 12/06/2018 20:03

The internet is a forum for people to say things they wouldn't dream of saying irl.
Could be venting, projecting it downright nasty.
People are people.

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ChevalierTialys · 12/06/2018 20:04

Steer away from AIBU. Its not for the faint of heart (see also, step parenting). Most boards on here are very supportive but, as the board with the most traffic, AIBU tends to be the first (and main) impression people get of MN. Honestly, I've been on MN since 2009 and have found that most posters are in fact extremely caring, fair and intelligent people, even if I differ in opinion from them.

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ScreamingValenta · 12/06/2018 20:04

YANBU. It's possible to have a robust, strongly-worded debate without including personal attacks.

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Natasha2 · 12/06/2018 20:04

It is also because they feel inadequate. Like with all bullies, they have to put other people down to make themselves feel better. Again, you should just feel sorry for them as they have miserable lives.

How many happy people do you know who are nasty?

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WatermelonGlitter · 12/06/2018 20:05

Mumsnet has a terrible reputation "out there". It's not hard to see why sometimes.

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Seniorcitizen1 · 12/06/2018 20:07

Mumsnet reflects life - there are nasty as well as good people. Get over it

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Goldenbug · 12/06/2018 20:09

I'm very bitter about how my life has turned out and find it easier to try and bring other people down to my level than attempt to improve myself. I'm also hung like a hamster having a cold shower.

Your fathers all smell of elderberries.

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MizCracker · 12/06/2018 20:11

There has been a definite increase in nastiness over the last few years. Some threads I find genuinely shocking. Why? Not sure. I guess it's become the norm. Because so many threads turn nasty so quickly, posters almost feel like that behaviour is expected. Guess they find it cathartic/enjoyable.

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SoddingUnicorns · 12/06/2018 20:13

I believe they hide behind a keyboard and say thing online they'd love to say in RL but don't have the balls to say

I agree with this tbh. I have a personal rule that I wouldn’t say anything anonymously online that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face. But some clearly love the cloak of anonymity to be as nasty as they please for kicks.

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LifeBeginsAtGin · 12/06/2018 20:13

I like to offer a different view but do get my arse handed to me occassionally. I don't instantly believe the OPs version of events whilst the majority do. Also some people make silly choices and really need telling.

Others post the same thing over and over again - loo seat woman!!

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Hotdogjumpingfrogs · 12/06/2018 20:14

Never ever ever go to aibu for a moan. You will get slated unless your aibu is somthing like -

Aibu for saving puppy's, LTB, and personally getting rid of all p&c spaces and replacing them with bb spaces. Oh and never judging twatty kids because they could have asd even though I know they don't.

But all the other boards are fine, witty, intelligent, thoughtful women with lots of help and advice. Yes some people have strong views and opinions that are maybe not pc and maybe not everyone will agree with but that's what makes it interesting.

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