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To think that a party that starts at 7pm is too late for my 7 month old?

(149 Posts)
Diorissimo1985 Tue 12-Jun-18 18:40:19

Just that really... getting loads of flak from family as I don't want to take DD to a (not close) relative of DH's 60th party which starts at 7pm. Her bedtime is usually 7.30pm and the party is about an hour's drive away in a church hall. The relative has been in touch to say she is looking forward to seeing us and baby there... AIBU to think that DH can just go on his own? Or am I being a spoilsport?!

welshweasel Tue 12-Jun-18 18:41:50

Up to you! At 7 months DS would have slept in the pram or we would have got a babysitter for the evening.

Singlebutmarried Tue 12-Jun-18 18:42:27

Does she sleep in the pram? We took DD to family gatherings at that age, out for dinner with us, all sorts as she’d happily sleep in her pram/pushchair

Aeroflotgirl Tue 12-Jun-18 18:42:52

Norway would I be going with a baby, tell dh to go, and stay behind. Baby will be tired and cranky, and won't be entertaining like people expect.

JessicaJonesJacket Tue 12-Jun-18 18:44:30

For a 60th, I'd take a baby to a party. As PPs said, the baby will sleep in her pram.

Diorissimo1985 Tue 12-Jun-18 18:44:33

She doesn't really sleep in her pram tbh - she does in the car seat though so could perhaps gingerly transfer her after the drive there.
There will be lots of people wanting to cuddle her though so not sure much sleep would be had!

notacooldad Tue 12-Jun-18 18:45:20

Well it's up to you I guess but we made our babies fit in with our lives where possible and at that age they are compact and portable.
I wouldn't miss a landmark birthday for a 7 month old sleep.
It would be different if it was a 4 or 5 year old who had school next morning and needed sleep.

itsnosoap Tue 12-Jun-18 18:45:33

YANBU. A newborn who sleeps all the time would be okay but a 7 month old with a routine and a bedtime is a different matter. I wouldn't have gone with DD at that age.

I'm sure some babies would cope fine with it or just sleep through it, but DD would have been exhausted and upset by 7.30pm.

likeacrow Tue 12-Jun-18 18:46:04

I definitely wouldn't go with my 15 month old and nor would I have taken her at 7 months. Her having her usual bedtime in a cot is way more important than some party or what other people think. Don't go if you don't want to. Don't be pressured into it!!

kaytee87 Tue 12-Jun-18 18:47:16

Hmmm I would think at such a young age it would be ok. She'll have a good nap on the way there, enjoy the attention for a couple of hours, sleep on the way back and might even sleep a bit later in the morning too.

BestBeforeYesterday Tue 12-Jun-18 18:47:36

Depends on the baby, some will sleep in a pram in the evening, some won't. I went to a wedding with DS1 when he was that age and it was a nightmare. Never again.
If she sleeps fine at home, I'd get a babysitter, if she doesn't, I wouldn't go to the party.

PotOfMemories Tue 12-Jun-18 18:47:54

Yanbu. Used to get this constantly with DS. My entire family used to think I was precious about his routine, coming out with such gems as "babies will sleep anywhere" or "can't he just sleep in the buggy?"

They honestly did not believe that Ds's routine was entirely led by him - I didn't want to be so restricted!! But if he didn't get to go to bed at a certain time in the dark and quiet, all hell would break loose. He's still the same now and he's 2.5!!

CoodleMoodle Tue 12-Jun-18 18:48:38

At 7 months my DD would not have slept in the car on the way, or in the buggy, or in someone's arms if we were out. She would've been beside herself by 7:30! Even now at 4 she starts getting grumpy around then.

I think it depends on your DD, if she copes well out of routine, etc.

BrieAndChilli Tue 12-Jun-18 18:48:40

She will most likely sleep for an hour on the way there, then be awake for a couple of hours then fall asleep on the way home.

SickRose Tue 12-Jun-18 18:49:37

I wouldn't have gone. But that's more because I wouldn't have wanted to go so my DD would be a ready made excuse. It really comes down to how important this party is to you. If you think it's worth it then go for it. But no, your family shouldn't expect you to be going, it should just be a bonus if you do, YANBU.

Diorissimo1985 Tue 12-Jun-18 18:51:00

Hmm okay seems to be a mix of responses! If we did go, what would be a reasonable amount of time to stay without seeming rude? Would an hour be too short?

likeacrow Tue 12-Jun-18 18:51:24

Argh, "the baby will sleep in the pram"
No, YOUR baby might but not all babies will. Plus some parents want their babies to have an undisturbed sleep in a cot whether or not they can sleep in a pram or not.
I wouldn't have got a babysitter either as I'd want it to be me or dh putting her down.
Other people are a lot more laid back about these things and carry on with "normal" life quite soon after having a baby, e.g. going out to parties. That's fine & I don't judge them, but don't expect everybody else to feel able or willing to stay the same.
OP do what makes you comfortable & happy. Sod the rest of them. If they want to see your baby they should come see her when it fits in with her routine, not the other way round!

Bunchofdaffodils Tue 12-Jun-18 18:51:27

Entirely depends on how your family works. We wouldn’t have missed something like that when ours were so young but they were good sleepers, didn’t get cranky if routine messed up etc. You have to do what works for you and just apologise and explain if hosts are disappointed.

letsallhaveanap Tue 12-Jun-18 18:51:39

well its entirely up to you! Bedtimes are not particularly important at that age to many people... Mine certainly did not have a specific bedtime at that young and I would have taken him. He was always a fairly flexible sleeper... if he was awake late he would just sleep later into the next morning.
But its your child and if its important to you because you feel your child needs it then no YANBU

Gemini69 Tue 12-Jun-18 18:52:08

I wouldn’t even consider going with a baby so young OP...... neither would I consider a baby sitter or relative looking after the baby... but that’s just me flowers

Diorissimo1985 Tue 12-Jun-18 18:52:25

SickRose I probably don't want to go but I wouldn't mind it personally. I'm just concerned about upsetting DD.
It's not a close relative of DH at all - it's a second cousin!

LokiBear Tue 12-Jun-18 18:52:53

I wouldnt go. Its hard work when they are little and tired.

Buglife Tue 12-Jun-18 18:53:03

Probably wouldn’t have with my first, but I’m not planning on starting formal bedtime with DC2 until they are older as it was incredibly restrictive never leaving the house with DS after 6pm for about 3 years... only now at nearly 4 can he stay up later on occasion and I don’t want to do the same again if I can help it! I would go to the party, 7 months is way more adaptable than a toddler.

Diorissimo1985 Tue 12-Jun-18 18:53:04

Or cousin once removed - whatever it is when it's his mum's first cousin?!

AttilaTheMusical Tue 12-Jun-18 18:56:13

Babies are portable, so I'd go. We took our dc to parties and stuff at that age no problem. You are bound to find some grandmotherly-type lady only to happy to push her around in the pram until she falls asleep and then sit and watch over her in a quiet corner while you have some much-needed fun.

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