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AIBU to be really irritated by women who give up good careers to sell tat on the internet?

(200 Posts)
itsgoodtobehome Tue 12-Jun-18 17:18:10

Right, I know this one might be a bit controversial, but I am generally interested to see if other people are also irritated by this.

So, I have several friends/acquaintances who have had good careers (teachers, lawyers, accountants, music execs, investment bankers) who have had children and given up work. This is not by AIBU, as that's entirely up to them, and lucky them if that's what they choose to do.

They have then gone on to set up their own home-made businesses, mostly selling via the internet. Again, not my AIBU, as being entrepreneurial is great, and good that they are not solely relying on their partners for income.

However, (and here is the AIBU), what they are making and selling, seems to me like utter crap. Here are some examples:

1. One is making homemade lampshades and matching wallpaper for children's bedrooms. Nice idea in theory, but I saw one 'rugby/football' design which basically looked like some kid had stuck all of their panini football stickers on their bedroom wall!

2. Another is making stuffed toys, bags, bunting etc out of children's old clothes and blankets. Again, a nice idea (and the stuffed toys made out of old baby-grows are quite cute!!). However, she has recently been touting these PE/Sports/Beach bags, which quite frankly, look like the sort of drawstring bag I remember making in sewing lessons in primary school!

3. A third has started making this pearl jewelry. Unfortunately, the pearls look as though they came out of a Christmas cracker, and then they are (very badly) glued onto the back of an earring stud, or onto some manky bit of leather strap like the sort of thing A-Ha used to wear on their wrists in the '80s!!

4. Finally, another one is selling very expensive designer children's clothes that she buys at a ridiculous amount, and then charges an even more ridiculous amount on her website.

I'm probably sounding very mean spirited, but it just annoys me that these highly capable women are selling such tat on the internet (and it's not cheap either) to try and replace their previous careers, when they have so much talent, experience in other areas.

AIBU, or do others get this too?

Unreasonableunreasonableness Tue 12-Jun-18 17:25:37

Are they happy? Are their children happy and secure?
If yes then who cares what they do to stay that way.
I qualified in a profession. I was good at it. But beyond my first job I then chose to move away from it. When I go back to work after being a sahm I won't be going back to it. I may choose to spend time making craft stuff, I hope it will be successful. I am not without creativity and ability. Either way as long as I am happy and my children are happy and secure and supported what does it matter what I do or do not do?

Pengggwn Tue 12-Jun-18 17:26:57

What does this have to do with you? They're not doing anything other than what works for them and their families. There are no victims here.

Badbadtromance Tue 12-Jun-18 17:29:02


notsohippychick Tue 12-Jun-18 17:30:25

Maybe they want to soend more time with their children? Doing the school runs? I think actively trying to find something to fit around home life is to be admired.

They may have been stressed, unhappy in their careers.

I’m glad I don’t have a friend like you to be honest. Friends should be supportive and non judgemental. Whether you agree with their lifestyle choice or not.

Racecardriver Tue 12-Jun-18 17:31:20

Internet tat is annoying but giving up whatever career you had to sell it is not. Their careers can't have been that good tbf. If they were truly good careers that they enjoyed they would have continued instead of staying at home to sell Internet ta

midnightmisssuki Tue 12-Jun-18 17:32:03

Errrr what has this got to do with you? Are they happy in themselves? Kids ok? Have they forced you to buy anything? confused

AnyFucker Tue 12-Jun-18 17:33:01

Yes, you sound mean spirited

Don't buy the tat if you don't like it. Look after your own career.

JuicySwan Tue 12-Jun-18 17:34:16


I live a good tat selling page. Some of the crap is hilarious and I don’t have to buy it.

Noqont Tue 12-Jun-18 17:34:37

Their life, their choice. Best to just worry about yourself.

HulaMelody Tue 12-Jun-18 17:35:05

It depends on whether they’re leaning on you for business - I know with all the MLM nonsense around that legitimate businesses are doing the whole ‘show your support for your local business’ pressure thing too.

I wouldn’t feel comfortable with someone leaving their career if they were then setting up an ill thought out venture and expecting me to prop them up.

Semster Tue 12-Jun-18 17:36:24

Would you be more or less annoyed if they gave up their careers and did nothing money-earning at all?

AornisHades Tue 12-Jun-18 17:36:30

Do they all have partners who could share days off with sick children, leave work at 3pm to collect dc from school, cover the holidays? A lot of women don't go back to their old role for those sorts of reasons and if they aren't broke then a little business selling 'tat' gives them some purpose.

MonochromeDog Tue 12-Jun-18 17:37:05

WTF is it with all the women bashing threads lately? SAHM lets bah her, woman who sells stuff on the internet, lets bash her, single mum on benefits, lets bash her... FFS! It's not original, it says way more about the judgemental OP and their jealousy than it does about anything else. angry

saganorenscoat Tue 12-Jun-18 17:38:00

What business is it if yours OP? You sound jealous .

Firesuit Tue 12-Jun-18 17:42:32

Would you be more or less annoyed if they gave up their careers and did nothing money-earning at all?

I would be less annoyed, because I wouldn't be worried that they were losing money and eroding their earning ability while pursuing a deluded plan.

If they gave up work to do nothing, I might still worry that they were stupidly making themselves dependent on a partner, but I think they're less likely to be deluded about the associated risks of that than they are about the prospects of an internet tat business.

Jammycustard Tue 12-Jun-18 17:43:13

Well they’re hardly likely to make much money out of it if the stuff is as shit as you describe. I guess it makes them feel better about not having a ‘real job’. I’m a sahp who is quite crafty and I had a lot of people suggested I do this but I couldn’t be bothered. At least they’re doing something.
Are you envious?

Curtainshopping Tue 12-Jun-18 17:45:35

YANBU but you need to file this under ‘this doesn’t affect me in any way so I’m not going to get worked about it’ and move along. Mute them on FB if it’s getting you annoyed.

WhoWants2Know Tue 12-Jun-18 17:47:33

For me, it depends on how/where they are marketing their products. If they are having a go at a legitimate business plan, fair enough.

If they are flooding the facebook pages of friends and family like MLM salespeople, that gets annoying as hell. It's one thing to follow your dream, but it's another to pressure friends and family to fund your lifestyle buying stuff they don't want.

yerbutnobut Tue 12-Jun-18 17:47:38

Hahaha, my DH sells what you would probably call tat OP, but that tat means mean we dont have credit cards or any debts (only mortgag), we can afford decent holidays and have days out and nice meals out. He will soon be giving up a 'decent' profession to do this full time.
So you just carry on being irritated, you clearly don't understand why people do it.
Sometimes its better to work for yourself even if it is selling 'tat', rather than working for someone else.

adayatthebeach Tue 12-Jun-18 17:47:59

At least they aren’t selling Lularoe crap clothing.

MissCharleyP Tue 12-Jun-18 17:49:19

Thought this was going to be about MLM, in which case no YWNBU.

However, this is up to them, I understand your concerns if its a friend and they're getting into debt for this but otherwise its not really anyone elses' concern. If the stuff is no good, they'll soon realise the no one wants to buy it. A friend of mine did a course in floristry because she was interested and had plenty of money, she helps put another friend at her shop now and again. She also did a course in card-making, again because she liked it and would always make friends and relatives homemade cards. I asked why she didn't sell them and she said that she would have to charge over £5 a card just to break even!

longlostpal Tue 12-Jun-18 17:50:03

Each to their own, but yes I find it sad when women sell tat to earn pin money. It just seems a bit demeaning to me.

crispysausagerolls Tue 12-Jun-18 17:51:03

Lol but this does remind me of this episode of Sex and the City where that lady has a divorce and starts making handbags "I cut up my bedsheet for this". grin

It's their business what they do. I wouldn't want to buy any of it myself probably but it's nice that they want to fill their time with something.

Eliza9917 Tue 12-Jun-18 17:54:26

YABU as your issue is with what they are selling. If it's not to your taste I'm sure they don't give a fuck.

Maybe they are just doing it to make enough to keep up their NI contributions.

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