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AIBU?

To expect my twins to be kept together

447 replies

Blazingspeed · 12/06/2018 11:06

Due to start reception in September. School has put them in separate classes without consulting me.
What do I do now? They won’t do well without each other, especially just starting out

OP posts:
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adaline · 12/06/2018 11:07

I think YABU. Most schools so far as I know will split twins if there are multiple classes in a year group. It gives them a chance to develop friendships and to cope independently of their sibling.

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Queenofthestress · 12/06/2018 11:08

It's quite common to split twins so they learn independence from each other, but just speak to school if you're that bothered

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LOL7 · 12/06/2018 11:08

I think they usually split siblings so that each can progress as an individual rather than one of a pair. I disagree with it too, and I would speak to the head to ask for them to be in the same class, but I don't think there's much you can do unfortunately!

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Nicknacky · 12/06/2018 11:08

Speak to the school and explain why you don’t think it’s a good idea and listen to why they have decided it.

But maybe long term it’s a good thing and they will stretch their wings if they don’t do well without each other?

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Summerfeeling · 12/06/2018 11:08

I think this is just the policy in some schools.

They will be in the same boat as 100% of the other children who are also attending without a sibling in their class. It will most likely be good for them.

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Atalune · 12/06/2018 11:09

It’s good practice. Speak to the school to reassure yourself but school is about independence.

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liz70 · 12/06/2018 11:09

Of course twins get put into separate classes. Poor teachers otherwise.

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KittyHawke80 · 12/06/2018 11:09

Common practice to split twins where there are multiple classes. It’s an attempt to nip co-dependency in the bud. They perhaps ought to have told you, though.

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AlonsoTigerHeart · 12/06/2018 11:10

Why don't you think they will do well?

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FlyingElbows · 12/06/2018 11:11

"They won't do well without each other" is exactly why they've done it. Not because your children actually won't cope but because you're (unintentionally I suspect) setting them up to be dependent on each other and it's often not a good idea. They need to be allowed to develop as individuals. They will be fine.

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sue51 · 12/06/2018 11:11

It happened I'm my daughter's primary school. Maybe it's standard practice.

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Handsfull13 · 12/06/2018 11:13

It's become common practice for schools to do this but you can request them together.
There is a lot of information about this on the TAMBA website.

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lindalee3 · 12/06/2018 11:13

Had 3 sets of twins in my year at school and they were all in the same class.

I think it's a good idea to split them though. Why do you think they won't do well without each other? Odd statement to make.

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firawla · 12/06/2018 11:13

I think they should have discussed it with you. Most twins seem to be split at my dc school too but it’s quite sad, you see all the children coming in for the “getting to know you” class picnics, and the twins find out they are in different classes, and the mum can only go with one?! Sad
I’m a twin and was with my sister all the way through primary and even secondary. We did a few of the same a levels too so together mostly in college too, and being together never held us back or caused an issue!

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bonnyshide · 12/06/2018 11:15

I think if they 'won't do well without each other' that a good reason to have them separate to develop independence.

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user1499173618 · 12/06/2018 11:15

It’s common practical ce to split twins in reception, and that is because it is considered best practice.

A friend of mine with identitical twin girls who were separated until year 7 asked for them to be put in the same class in years 8 and 9. They have flourished together but my friend is adamant that they needed to be separated when they were younger.

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ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 12/06/2018 11:15

They’ll do brilliantly without each other. You underestimate them. This is where they find their independence. They are individuals. They can’t be co-dependant. It’s unhealthy.

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SeriousSimon · 12/06/2018 11:16

Personally I wouldn't be happy with my twins being in separate classes at primary.

I wouldn't go down the 'they won't cope alone' route though because the school will shout you down with all the reasons given. Just go in and say you really want them to be in the same class and see what they say.

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Lifeaback · 12/06/2018 11:16

m.youtube.com/watch?v=H8R-Y7G7G-Y

This video springs to mind hearing your comment ‘they won’t do well without eachother’. You’re really setting them up for problems by viewing them like this

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MrBog · 12/06/2018 11:17

Maybe it will be a positive move.

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BevBrook · 12/06/2018 11:18

Everyone I know with twins has them in separate classes, it is very common.

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Glittertwins · 12/06/2018 11:18

Ideally you should have been consulted. I remember Tamba saying that a blanket policy for multiple was not right as it depends on the children.
My twins were in the same class until year 4. They were put in the same class as each other after talking with us. When classes were re-arranged, the head teacher discussed it with us and we also discussed it with them. They are now in separate classes as we were all in agreement to do this

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Mummyoflittledragon · 12/06/2018 11:19

At dds School they split twins up after reception year or possibly yr1. YANBU to think this is very little to separate your children. However, they probably do need it when growing older. Obviously you know your children best. Please go and talk to the school if you are concerned. It does seem more sensible to have them together for the time being if they’re going to be too anxious about it. Have you talked to your children about it?

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FluffAndFluster · 12/06/2018 11:19

I had the choice and split them up. The way I saw it was that all other children are starting school without a sibling so why make it any different for twins. It forced my shy twin to make his own friends and not just tag along with his sister which is what happened at nursery.

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WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam · 12/06/2018 11:21

Huh? Why do you think they won’t ‘do well’ separately? Almost every child starting school has to do it without a sibling right there with them. Is there something wrong with your boys that makes you think they need to care for each other or something? If so then you need to speak to the school about that as it’s not fair on them to have their education/experience of school be affected by having to care for a sibling.

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