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To expect my twins to be kept together

(448 Posts)
Blazingspeed Tue 12-Jun-18 11:06:57

Due to start reception in September. School has put them in separate classes without consulting me.
What do I do now? They won’t do well without each other, especially just starting out

adaline Tue 12-Jun-18 11:07:41

I think YABU. Most schools so far as I know will split twins if there are multiple classes in a year group. It gives them a chance to develop friendships and to cope independently of their sibling.

Queenofthestress Tue 12-Jun-18 11:08:17

It's quite common to split twins so they learn independence from each other, but just speak to school if you're that bothered

LOL7 Tue 12-Jun-18 11:08:41

I think they usually split siblings so that each can progress as an individual rather than one of a pair. I disagree with it too, and I would speak to the head to ask for them to be in the same class, but I don't think there's much you can do unfortunately!

Summerfeeling Tue 12-Jun-18 11:08:54

I think this is just the policy in some schools.

They will be in the same boat as 100% of the other children who are also attending without a sibling in their class. It will most likely be good for them.

Nicknacky Tue 12-Jun-18 11:08:54

Speak to the school and explain why you don’t think it’s a good idea and listen to why they have decided it.

But maybe long term it’s a good thing and they will stretch their wings if they don’t do well without each other?

Atalune Tue 12-Jun-18 11:09:17

It’s good practice. Speak to the school to reassure yourself but school is about independence.

liz70 Tue 12-Jun-18 11:09:28

Of course twins get put into separate classes. Poor teachers otherwise.

KittyHawke80 Tue 12-Jun-18 11:09:31

Common practice to split twins where there are multiple classes. It’s an attempt to nip co-dependency in the bud. They perhaps ought to have told you, though.

AlonsoTigerHeart Tue 12-Jun-18 11:10:21

Why don't you think they will do well?

FlyingElbows Tue 12-Jun-18 11:11:21

"They won't do well without each other" is exactly why they've done it. Not because your children actually won't cope but because you're (unintentionally I suspect) setting them up to be dependent on each other and it's often not a good idea. They need to be allowed to develop as individuals. They will be fine.

sue51 Tue 12-Jun-18 11:11:48

It happened I'm my daughter's primary school. Maybe it's standard practice.

Handsfull13 Tue 12-Jun-18 11:13:32

It's become common practice for schools to do this but you can request them together.
There is a lot of information about this on the TAMBA website.

lindalee3 Tue 12-Jun-18 11:13:38

Had 3 sets of twins in my year at school and they were all in the same class.

I think it's a good idea to split them though. Why do you think they won't do well without each other? Odd statement to make.

firawla Tue 12-Jun-18 11:13:46

I think they should have discussed it with you. Most twins seem to be split at my dc school too but it’s quite sad, you see all the children coming in for the “getting to know you” class picnics, and the twins find out they are in different classes, and the mum can only go with one?! sad
I’m a twin and was with my sister all the way through primary and even secondary. We did a few of the same a levels too so together mostly in college too, and being together never held us back or caused an issue!

bonnyshide Tue 12-Jun-18 11:15:01

I think if they 'won't do well without each other' that a good reason to have them separate to develop independence.

user1499173618 Tue 12-Jun-18 11:15:30

It’s common practical ce to split twins in reception, and that is because it is considered best practice.

A friend of mine with identitical twin girls who were separated until year 7 asked for them to be put in the same class in years 8 and 9. They have flourished together but my friend is adamant that they needed to be separated when they were younger.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo Tue 12-Jun-18 11:15:51

They’ll do brilliantly without each other. You underestimate them. This is where they find their independence. They are individuals. They can’t be co-dependant. It’s unhealthy.

SeriousSimon Tue 12-Jun-18 11:16:11

Personally I wouldn't be happy with my twins being in separate classes at primary.

I wouldn't go down the 'they won't cope alone' route though because the school will shout you down with all the reasons given. Just go in and say you really want them to be in the same class and see what they say.

Lifeaback Tue 12-Jun-18 11:16:37

This video springs to mind hearing your comment ‘they won’t do well without eachother’. You’re really setting them up for problems by viewing them like this

MrBog Tue 12-Jun-18 11:17:14

Maybe it will be a positive move.

BevBrook Tue 12-Jun-18 11:18:26

Everyone I know with twins has them in separate classes, it is very common.

Glittertwins Tue 12-Jun-18 11:18:49

Ideally you should have been consulted. I remember Tamba saying that a blanket policy for multiple was not right as it depends on the children.
My twins were in the same class until year 4. They were put in the same class as each other after talking with us. When classes were re-arranged, the head teacher discussed it with us and we also discussed it with them. They are now in separate classes as we were all in agreement to do this

Mummyoflittledragon Tue 12-Jun-18 11:19:05

At dds School they split twins up after reception year or possibly yr1. YANBU to think this is very little to separate your children. However, they probably do need it when growing older. Obviously you know your children best. Please go and talk to the school if you are concerned. It does seem more sensible to have them together for the time being if they’re going to be too anxious about it. Have you talked to your children about it?

FluffAndFluster Tue 12-Jun-18 11:19:54

I had the choice and split them up. The way I saw it was that all other children are starting school without a sibling so why make it any different for twins. It forced my shy twin to make his own friends and not just tag along with his sister which is what happened at nursery.

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