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In laws will not come to 1 year olds birthday without giant dog

(114 Posts)
Leggs11xo Tue 12-Jun-18 08:34:11

Firsy bit of back story my in-laws and I do not get on great for alot of reasons, when DD was first Born MIL came round and complelty rearranged my house calling it disgusting and FIL is very agressive and seems to fall out with everyonealot. Basically the bring alot of drama having said that we have never actually fallen out as I try and keep the peace.

So I am doing a low key first birthday for DD just family mainly. I obviously invited everyone including the in laws. They replied saying they would have to bring their dog, I love dogs but this dog is not child friendly he is very large ( just smaller than a great Dane ) and when we introduced him to the baby ( only in the same room together with him on a lead) he did not respond well. He is a lurcher type dog and so has a strong hunting instinct. I do not at all feel comfortable having him around my daughter. Beside they fact it's a birthday party and our house isn't massive I would prefer if people didn't bring their pets!

They are now saying they have will not come without the dog and how unreasonable we are not letting them bring him. I feel like this is just an excuse to cause trouble again.

sexnotgender Tue 12-Jun-18 08:35:43

Just tell them you’re sorry they won’t be able to come then.

JuicySwan Tue 12-Jun-18 08:35:52

Just say “Oh well that’s your choice”.

saltedliquorice Tue 12-Jun-18 08:37:41

Stick to your guns OP you would be on pins all day. We have a lovely natured golden retriever who we all love to bits but he casts a lot and no way would I bring him to visit anyone else’s house (not even family).

Singlenotsingle Tue 12-Jun-18 08:38:20

Your child, your decision. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. They obviously think their dog is more important than your baby. Let them get on with it!

BarbarianMum Tue 12-Jun-18 08:38:38

Keeping the peace is all very well but you need to put boundaries somewhere. Just say "sorry to hear that, see you again soon" and don't listen to any whingeing.

MrsMozart Tue 12-Jun-18 08:38:49

Their choice.

I have three large dogs. Love them a ridiculous amount, but no way would I take any of them to a child's party (or any where else they'd not been invited to!).

shouldwestayorshouldwego Tue 12-Jun-18 08:39:04

'That's unfortunate PIL but I totally understand. Maybe you could arange to meet up with dh at the park and go for a walk sometime instead while I chill out at home and relax '

GetInMyNelly Tue 12-Jun-18 08:40:13

It baffles me why the wives are the ones bringing this issue up on here about PIL's.

Why can't the husband simply say to his own parents "fuck off you cheeky fuckers" confused

When I was married, if my MIL did or said something I wasn't happy with, id either tell her myself or have my exDW deal with it. Job done. I'm a female who was married to a female in case people read other threads and say hang on a minute, this person is pregnant! Without making the link that I could be a woman hmm

StepBackNow Tue 12-Jun-18 08:40:32

As others said - their choice. Put your foot down now about the dog and you won't have to again. I can't understand people who expect to take their dogs to non dog households.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Tue 12-Jun-18 08:40:49

My dog is small, extremely well behaved and loves children.

Still wouldn't take him to a 1 yo birthday party! It's not a suitable environment for a dog. Stick to your guns.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast Tue 12-Jun-18 08:41:21

that is insane tbh.

Just say 'oh well , we cant have the dog here, so we will have to see you another time'.

Say it in a calm but jolly voice. smile have a practice in front of the mirror.

expatinscotland Tue 12-Jun-18 08:42:39

Then they don't come.

TERFragetteCity Tue 12-Jun-18 08:43:44

'Ah well, that is your decision to make. Maybe next year.'

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname Tue 12-Jun-18 08:46:24

What did dh say about it?

restingbemusedface Tue 12-Jun-18 08:47:41

Don’t risk your child’s safety because of your stubborn PIL. Just say ‘fine, sorry you can’t make it.’

whywontteenswearcoats Tue 12-Jun-18 08:52:29

Well people say pick your battles, keep your powder dry etc, this is one of those situations, you've done well to let other things slide. However large dog, party, small house, baby just don't mix. It's time to show your mettle OP, a firm "we simply cannot accommodate the dog, you are welcome without him but if you can't do that we'll need to make arrangements for another time". I think other PPs are right, if it wasn't the dog they were using it would be something else, just to get their own way & show you who's boss.

MyRelationshipIsWeird Tue 12-Jun-18 08:52:54

I understand that dogs are a huge tie and that it’s difficult to travel far for the day without bringing them as they can’t be left home alone like cats.

However, most dog owners I know either have a friend who can help out when they’re out for the day or one of them will come and the other partner stays home with the dog.

I have two scaredy-cats and there’s no way anyone is bringing a dog into my house for any reason as my cats would shit themselves.

MyRelationshipIsWeird Tue 12-Jun-18 08:53:33

Plus your in laws sound like twats so I’d just say ok, see you another time then. No dogs, not negotiable.

Fadingmemory Tue 12-Jun-18 08:53:38

Two options - they come without the dog or they don't come at all. This may be a situation where the dog can't be left at home (their problem to deal with) or it may be them making sure you know they think can do what they want. Get your DH to tell them and set the boundaries now - why do you have to do it? If he does, he must stand firm ie that the needs of the little one come above them and their pooch.

user1494670108 Tue 12-Jun-18 08:56:48

I have a Lurcher who I totally trust as he has no prey drive and is very gentle.
He also hates being left home alone. - I would not take him to a birthday party for a one year old, that's just a ridiculous idea. If they can't come without it then they aren't coming which sounds better all round anyway

Beaverhausen Tue 12-Jun-18 08:58:09

Just tell them sorry they wont be able to make it but you will ensure that you have a lovely photo printed of her blowing out her first candle.

shiklah Tue 12-Jun-18 08:58:15

"That's a shame, we'll have to get together another time."

SheSellSeaShells Tue 12-Jun-18 09:02:36

oh well see you another time then.... who on earth expects to take their pets to someone else's home letalone a 1yo party. Completly inappropriate! I'm sure everyone they tell must think they're mad as well.

MumofBoysx2 Tue 12-Jun-18 09:05:56

Just stick with it. If you have a feeling about the dog then as a mum you are probably right. It is their decision if they decide not to come, after all they could find a dog sitter easily enough, plenty of companies about. It would then be their decision not to come, not yours!

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