AIBU hair removal cream for DD 9 legs?

[lardymclardy]

I can envisage the responses now - yes you are you mental mother!

A little background - DD started puberty at 7 and as a result was under a consultant paedetrician (can't spell it). She has a couple of armpit hairs and a few hairs down below. This year is the first year she is refusing to wear a summer dress for school, insisting she preferred trousers. I didn't think too much of it until my mind clicked on a couple of recent conversations...

I've spoken to her and she admits it's because she thinks her legs are too hairy. I don't think they are, but it's not my mind, body or confidence.

I agreed with her that I would remove the hair for this summer term only and it would grow back over summer (adding if you wear your shorts etc then the sun will lighten the hairs anyway). She will then go in to year 5 and into autumn winter where she can wear trousers for school and leggings for PE. Therefore hair removal will not be an ongoing thing.

So AIBU? I don't think so, and for those that think I'm not, have you been in this situation and do you have any tips?

For those that think I am, I'm happy to hear why knowing that I know self confidence comes from within and I explain that to her, but also know how uncomfortable she is with it and uncomfortable in trousers in this heat. Thank you.

[dementedpixie]

You could try an electric lady shaver and avoid using chemicals.

[GabriellaMontez]

I'd probably shave them. Those creams are harsh.

But I agree if she's uncomfortable you need to deal with it.

[Ratbagcatbag]

I would let her remove the hair. I had laser hair removal in a couple of places (although I accept at 9 she's probably too young for that).

[lardymclardy]

You could try an electric lady shaver and avoid using chemicals.

Thank you, had never thought of this - I still hack at mine with a cheap razor so wanted to avoid that. I don't get my own legs out much!

[AnnieOH1]

I haven't been in this situation but I did have a friend at school who in year 2/3 had thick black hair on her legs and arms. To make matters worse for her she had some of the palest skin you could ever imagine - think Wednesday Addams and you'll get somewhere close to what she was like. The bullying she received from other kids was horrendous. If my daughter especially ends up with dark hairs you can bet I'll be removing them one way or the other.

Good luck!

[jamoncrumpets]

Those creams are vile, I got chemical burns last time I used them on my legs

[dementedpixie]

My dd used a lady shave a few times and then just shaved with a razor and shaving gel. Now she doesn't care about having hairy legs and they have grown again. She is 14 now

[currentcosleeper]

Look up them sugar pad things where you lightly exfoliate the hairs off the skin. No pain and no chemicals.

[MsVestibule]

Why wouldn't you want her to remove it? My DD(11) has a lot of underarm hair and she removes it using cream.

Like it or not, our society frowns upon body hair on women - I remove my underarm and leg hair, so I certainly wouldn't make my DD keep hers if she didn't want to.

[littlemisscomper]

I don't think there's anything wrong with her shaving her legs at all. It's her body, it's not as if she's wanting to do anything permanent or damaging to it! I would probably steer clear of the creams though as they can cause pretty nasty burns. I would look at a lady saver.

[lardymclardy]

Crikey I was expecting a barrage of YABU!

Thank you all, my only experience of this is when my now 21 year old son used to get out of the bath leaving it covered in thick black hair - erm son? Have you been using my razor to shave your legs? Yes. Oh, okay well I'll get you your own razor then!

Okay definitely no chemicals, I'll look for a lady shave or an expensive can't cut yourself razor (I'll do it for her still, but I worry I'll nick her :( )

[dementedpixie]

I like the olay ones where you don't actually need shaving gel.

[Littlebluebird123]

Oh your poor dd. What a tricky situation.
I'm guessing you are thinking cream as she'd be more able to do it independently and 'safer' than razor?
Would she let you shave her? In many ways that's the better option as you are less likely to irritate the skin (if you use soap or something too).
I personally am not sure she'll only do it for the Summer though. I know once I started I wanted to keep on top of it as stubbly wasn't a pleasant feel.
(After kids, couldn't care less though ) 😂
You may need to think of it as a longer term thing. Particularly as she's conscious of it and already started puberty so will be an ongoing issue for her.

[AnotherDayAnotherName745]

I'd say though, to make sure you emphasize that you're doing this because SHE feels self conscious, and not at all because you think she looks unacceptable in any way just as she is.

[lardymclardy]

@MsVestibule I don't think I've said I wouldn't want her to remove it.

I just think at the age of 9 it is a lot to keep up with ongoing, so will do it for this summer term and then let it grow back. If she wants to keep it up I'm fine with that also.

In my mind as said, to me there is nothing wrong with her hair growth, but also emphasised that it is not my mind, body or confidence being affected hence putting it out there for views.

[wrenika]

I'd just let her shave them. I think I was around 10 when I started shaving my legs intermittently cause I went through puberty pretty young. Fortunately for me I didn't have to ask cause I just used mum's razor. Safety razors are pretty safe...you can only nick yourself a little and that's kinda part and parcel of shaving the awkward nooks and crannies of the leg!

[lardymclardy]

@Littlebluebird123 - no I intended to do it whatever method (with her). I wouldn't leave something like that for the first time to be done independently.

My thoughts regarding cream Vs shaving were that shaving comes back a lot more stubbly, I thought with a cream (I was thinking a facial hair remover sensitive) then it would last longer and grow back more naturally.

I'm not liking the sound of either now after posts due to, in my mind, nics and burns so will look into a lady shave.

[redcaryellowcar]

How about waxing or sugaring, less upkeep and will help reduce the hairs in time, they don't gel back as ferociously as they will of she shaves them. It's a little uncomfortable but probably only needs to be done once to cover now to the summer holidays, maybe a second time toward the end of term.

[lardymclardy]

I'd say though, to make sure you emphasize that you're doing this because SHE feels self conscious, and not at all because you think she looks unacceptable in any way just as she is.

Erm... It's taken me since Easter (when she's normally be in her summer dress) to twig what the problem was. Have I once mentioned that it's my concern or problem? No.

[Queenofthestress]

Electric shaver all the way, pretty impossible to knick yourself with one

[Ksjourney]

Maybe in a few years sugaring? Or waxing? Lasts longer.

[smashhits90s]

I would buy a sensitive hair removal cream, only because I know how I react to it.

Personally, I would wax them but I know that that is uncomfortable although would give a better result.

[redcaryellowcar]

Gel should read grow... they don't grow back ... (sorry)

[Badbadtromance]

I'd allow it. My dd has v dark hairs too

[MrsGrindah]

I don’t think sun significantly lightens body hair and anyway even blonde hairs can be seen if there’s a fair few of them. The point is she’s feeling uncomfortable with her body so should be given support to make her feel less self conscious whether that’s shaving or creams etc.