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AIBU for hating the Pampas advert thanking midwives.

(423 Posts)
ToadsforJustice Sun 10-Jun-18 15:17:53

I didn't have a positive experience with any of the MW I had the misfortune of seeing whilst having my DC.

I find the advert really triggering. I don't think I would thank anyone for the misery and pain they caused me.

Drchinnery Sun 10-Jun-18 15:21:37

I had some wonderful ones look after me before and after birth, but during the birth the ones I had were completely useless and made the whole thing stressful and traumatic. So I understand where you are coming from.

FlyingDandelionSeed Sun 10-Jun-18 15:24:26

I feel the same. I had horrible treatment at the hands of my midwives.

Maybe there are lovely 'hold your hand' midwives who deserve being thanked, but the advert just makes me really really sad I didn't get that.

MrsPicklesonSmythe Sun 10-Jun-18 15:37:25

Sorry you had a bad experience but 99% of the many mw's I've encountered in my three pregnancies and births have been hardworking, supportive and bloody fantastic at their jobs. On the odd occasion I found them difficult or pushy it was because they actually did know better than me and overall it was for my benefit. I think they do an incredible job in often difficult circumstances.

Dljlr Sun 10-Jun-18 15:38:41

YANBU. I'd find that massively triggering. I had a host of them with DSs birth and still have flashbacks. Utter cunts they were.

MarieMorgan Sun 10-Jun-18 15:42:02

Really mixed experience for me too. One midwife, when I asked for an epidural, said "oh I don't usual like to look after ladies when they've had an epidural but I'll make an exception for you!". Another was absolutely determined that I should go in the bath during my very painful labour. I'm not someone who takes relaxing baths. I prefer a shower and I didn't see how being wet as well as in pain was going to help. Nevertheless she insisted so there I was 20 mins later sat in a bath feeling cold, wet and miserable as well as in pain! I had an absolutely lovely midwife though for my middle one. I have the same view re nurses. I've had some lovely ones but they are not all angels. One needed to give me an injection the day after I had a major operation. She grabbed my leg roughly with no warning at all and jabbed the injection in. I burst in to tears and she looked at me as though I was being pathetic. I felt as though I'd been assaulted.

Naty1 Sun 10-Jun-18 15:44:20

Havent seen it but feel the same.

keepingbees Sun 10-Jun-18 15:54:02

Yes I know how you feel. Whilst I'm sure there's plenty of wonderful midwives out there who have my full respect, my experience was complete lack of care and incompetence in my antenatal care. At one birth I was spoken to like absolute dirt and told my baby being in distress was my fault. Another birth they turned me away from hospital and I ended up giving birth alone at home.
I can't even watch obem as it riles me how nice everyone is for the cameras.

nancy75 Sun 10-Jun-18 15:58:17

When I had Dd I went along with my birth plan ( first baby, no idea what was going on) the midwife laughed, said you won’t be needing that and put it on the bin. Her & her friend ( maybe another midwife) then had a good laugh about the stupidity of first time mums.

chinesechicken Sun 10-Jun-18 15:58:19

@keepingbees what makes you think they're nice for the cameras? maybe they're just nice? no need to project.

Wavescrashingonthebeach Sun 10-Jun-18 16:04:11

nancy ugh how fucking insensitive & rude of her!
There are far nicer & gentler ways to advise that sometimes things dont go to plan..
I havent got kids (yet) but i know people that have been treated terribly giving birth who would hate this advert.
I generally find most baby product adverts patronising & full of psychological blackmail & sneakyness anyway...

LawDegreeBarbie Sun 10-Jun-18 16:04:34

YABU. Its like me being anti police because the DV team in my area were so awful to me.

Clionba Sun 10-Jun-18 16:08:53

I had a horrible midwife, rude and insensitive. I like to think that she was the exception rather than the rule, so am pleased that good ones get thanked.

hunterbear Sun 10-Jun-18 16:09:16

My midwife was found in a cupboard eating chocolate biscuits by my furious husband when I was crowning.

Marmalady75 Sun 10-Jun-18 16:17:53

YANBU. You have every right to feel like that if your experiences have been bad. My own experiences ranged from ok to downright awful - including the one who told me I was being an over anxious first time mother because I insisted something was wrong. She was adamant that she knew better. My baby died during birth. That advert makes me cry every time I see it.

Donthugmeimscared Sun 10-Jun-18 16:22:49

I had a mix of good and bad with my three. With my second she would don't allow skin to skin and wouldn't let me hold him until I had a bath and she had dressed him. I was so upset. I know it's not a major thing but it really got to me.

WhiteCoyote Sun 10-Jun-18 16:26:05

I had a 3 day labour so saw many midwives during that time - can honestly say 70% of them were absolutely lovely. The few that were really horrible though - patronising, condescending and treating me like a toddler having a tantrum when I sat there bawling my eyes out because my baby wouldn’t latch on - spoiled the entire process for me. It’s what I remember above the majority of the really nice midwives unfortunately. There was one in particular that seemed to really hate her job. Why even bother being a midwife if you don’t like it?

mydogmymate Sun 10-Jun-18 16:36:42

Marmalady Your post broke my heart. I hope you had some recourse over this horrible woman.

I had a midwife for dc4 who was like a matron straight out of a carry on film. When my children ( early 20's then) visited, she actually told me off saying that only patients children were allowed to visit. When I pointed out that they were my children her face was a picture! Horrible cow confused

Kittykat93 Sun 10-Jun-18 16:42:57

I felt sad watching the advert. They were all so smiley and happy and it feels quite lighthearted. In reality my birth was traumatic and I was petrified , and my midwife was cold and clinical. YANBU.

NeverTwerkNaked Sun 10-Jun-18 17:00:12

I also had dreadful midwives for my daughter’s birth and have ended up with severe PTSD because of how they treated me. Luckily at the end a very lovely female obstetrician arrived and actually did the lovely soothing stuff I needed and talked my baby out of me.

My sons birth they were better, but then I was dealing the next day with the news that my dear friend’s newborn baby had died, and none of them would let me talk about it. They just shut me down, when all I needed was some understanding

lostinsunshine Sun 10-Jun-18 17:01:36

I was diagnosed with PTSD thanks to the shit treatment I received from midwives. I just avoid stuff that triggers me.

SinkGirl Sun 10-Jun-18 17:06:14

The NICU one upset me so much that I was physically sick the first time I saw it. Sure, an extreme reaction but it just brought back so much.

EssentialHummus Sun 10-Jun-18 17:17:50

I feel uncomfortable about Pampers capitalising on this (and that's as someone who had a very positive experience of birth thanks to two excellent midwives).

Namechangefailagain Sun 10-Jun-18 17:18:38

I've had good and bad experiences. With my first I was 18 and it was horrible. They seemed cold and uncaring. With my second they were brilliant and stayed with me throughout. I was high risk and the midwife who was with me was so helpful and made me feel relaxed and that I was in good hands.
With my last I went into labour at 20 weeks 2 days and my daughter was born sleeping. It was difficult because I didn't feel they were good, I think it was hard under the circumstances. It was traumatic and emotional and even know 10 weeks on looking back I don't feel I received the care i should have.

I think they are stretched. They were working 12 hour shifts and trying to care for so many women. They just didn't seem to have enough time to be able to support us all.

Either way I hate that advert, it makes me cry every time I see it.

Namechangefailagain Sun 10-Jun-18 17:19:34

now not know

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