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TO just buy another dog and deal with the fallout?

(126 Posts)
IWant2Dogs Wed 06-Jun-18 21:27:43

I love dogs. I love them more than humans. I begged DH to let me have a dog for years but he always refused. Eventually he developed a fascination with French Bulldogs and decided I could have one of them. I wasn't keen, I'd always wanted a big, smart dog that o could train in agility, go on long walks, run with etc and a Frenchie really want what I had in mind. But because I was so desperate for a dog, I agreed.

Well I love the dog, he's two years old now and he's my baby but I still crave the dog competitions, agility, intelligence and loyalty that I've been used to in the past. I've been unable to train the dog in anything other than basic commands and even then it's sketchy. Took him to training classes etc and have been told he's just not that kind of dog.

I'm thinking of buying a Doberman. I'm experienced in big strong breeds and apart from what it would give me, I think it would benefit my Frenchie too to have another dog to play with, run and learn from.

DH says no way. My friends say "is he your boss? Just get one if you want one that badly". DH is adamant that it's not happening.

WIBU to overrule him and just get one? I mean, really, what's DOES make him the boss?

Zampa Wed 06-Jun-18 21:29:00

Yes, you would be unreasonable.

Notevilstepmother Wed 06-Jun-18 21:29:42

He’s not the boss. But you are a partnership. Tricky. What’s his reasoning?

SluttyButty Wed 06-Jun-18 21:29:50

If my husband overruled me and bought another dog home he'd be finding somewhere else to live that accepted pets.

KinkyAfro Wed 06-Jun-18 21:30:04

Very unreasonable

Ummmmgogo Wed 06-Jun-18 21:30:20

yes completely unreasonable.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Wed 06-Jun-18 21:30:24

No he isn't your boss but a dog would be a joint decision in this house. If DH just decided & got a mutt I'd be mighty pissed off with him-even more if I had said a definite no.

ilovesooty Wed 06-Jun-18 21:31:10

You can't bring a living creature into a household unless everyone agrees.

Littledidsheknow Wed 06-Jun-18 21:31:42

It's not a case of him being the boss; you should agree on such big decisions. It's also his home and his life that will be affected. And dogs are expensive.

I am sympathetic, though... I'd love another dog to keep LittleDog company, but DH isn't keen.

SensingWeakness Wed 06-Jun-18 21:31:43

If my husband overruled me and bought another dog home he'd be finding somewhere else to live that accepted pets

This. What pets you have is a joint decision.

ReadytoTalk Wed 06-Jun-18 21:31:45

Yeah that is quite unreasonable. You can't just get a big dog like that. What about something little like a min. Poodle or papillon? They're amazing at agility and extremely clever.

TowerRavenSeven Wed 06-Jun-18 21:34:04

Ywvu if you just did it. Pets, like children, should be agreed upon by both partners imo. However, that should have included the Frenchie too...some compromise should have been made as to the type and not just what he wanted.

Lucked Wed 06-Jun-18 21:34:06

Is ther not a middle ground between a French bull dog and a Doberman? If he doesn’t like big dogs a Doberman isn’t the breed to win him over.

IWant2Dogs Wed 06-Jun-18 21:35:24

I have social anxiety, I don't go out unless it's work or walking the dog but the dog won't go out in the rain or if it's cold. He gets tired after 20 minutes. Plus a lot of small dogs have been attacked by bull terrier types lately in our area so I'm even going off taking him out. Having a Doberman with us would change that.

I have no interest in socialising with people. My only interest is dogs and my dog is unfortunately, not interested in anything other than sleeping and eating.

Sirzy Wed 06-Jun-18 21:35:57

What everyone else says. A pet has to be a joint decision.

Butterflykissess Wed 06-Jun-18 21:37:02

Was it you who posted the Doberman thread the other day?

WombatStewForTea Wed 06-Jun-18 21:37:41

Aren't you the OP that hates this dog and can't train it? You claim it can't be toilet trained.

Don't do it OP. Despite what you think, you clearly don't have the skills to handle a big dog

Inkspellme Wed 06-Jun-18 21:39:19

A dog - any dog - makes a big impact in a household. Personally, I would love an Irish Wolfhound. However, my DH doesn't want that size of dog - needs a lot of exercise, can have large vet bills, eats a lot and poos a lot. Overall, its a big commitment and even if I did all of the walking and shouldered all of the expense it would still mean that my DH is living with a large dog he doesn't want. If the situation was reversed I would expect him to listen to my wishes too. So we have a small dog instead. Its not about one person being the boss its about respecting your partners feelings in their own home.

Sparklesocks Wed 06-Jun-18 21:39:40

I don’t think it’s fair to pin all that on getting a new dog

ilovesooty Wed 06-Jun-18 21:41:18

I don't think you should have settled for a dog you didn't want in the first place.

Chattymummyhere Wed 06-Jun-18 21:41:20

You already reached a compromise. You wanted a dog he didn’t eventually he agreed but only a certain breed. A small lazy dog. His said clearly he doesn’t want a Doberman and it would be ridiculous to get one it could end your marriage. If my dh suddenly came home with a new dog he would be told to take it back to where it came from or to find somewhere else to live.

Dieu Wed 06-Jun-18 21:41:21

It should be a joint decision, but he was wrong to railroad you into a certain breed at the start.

zwellers Wed 06-Jun-18 21:41:21

Seriously. If a man suggested this there would a chorus of he is controlling Ltb etc. And They would be right. You can't bring in a living creature without full agreement of all. You were also unreasonable picking a dog you didn't want just to have a dog.

EdmundCleverClogs Wed 06-Jun-18 21:41:27

It’s you again, isn’t it hmm

SweetCheeks1980 Wed 06-Jun-18 21:42:12

@I want why would having a doberman change anything?

You need to sort out your anxiety as all that does is make dogs develop issues themselves.

I bring in animals without my partner's "permission" but we have over fifty so it's not like he notices.

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