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IABU - I’ve just had a glass of wine

(135 Posts)
Hiphopopotamus Wed 06-Jun-18 19:17:55

And I’m a recovering alcoholic. 5 months sober. All gone now like I’d never bothered. So here I am, back to square one

MaryPoppinsPenguins Wed 06-Jun-18 19:20:15

Tip it out. Can you go to a meeting?

DaphneDiligaf Wed 06-Jun-18 19:21:26

You have admitted it on here. Can you stop at one? If so you aren't back to square one are you?

Candlelight123 Wed 06-Jun-18 19:21:27

As PP said get rid of the rest of it down the sink immediately. Can you get in touch with your sponsor?

BeeFarseer Wed 06-Jun-18 19:21:33

It's not all gone. You've done amazingly well. This is a blip. It doesn't have to be more than that.

hadenough Wed 06-Jun-18 19:21:37

It's just a blip, don't beat yourself up about it.

The important thing is you stay on track now, and don't let this block your progress. We all make mistakes and do things we regret, it's how you move on and the lessons you learn from it that are important.

Thehop Wed 06-Jun-18 19:21:50

Tip it out now. Don’t binge.

Have you got someone you can call?

FurryDice Wed 06-Jun-18 19:22:09

No you’re not back to square one. One day at a time, remember? If you don’t drink tomorrow you haven’t ruined all those 5 months of hard work.

Can you tip out the rest and get to a meeting?

MatildaTheCat Wed 06-Jun-18 19:22:09

No, not all gone. Five months sober is five months sober. Well done for that. Sometimes we stumble, it does not mean we have given up.

Can you talk to someone in RL? or maybe post on one of the excellent support threads on here?

Best wishes. Empty the bottle away and move on.

OuchLegoHurts Wed 06-Jun-18 19:22:30

No you're not back to square one. You're at the exact same point as someone who doesn't have a problem... One glass of wine is normal. Pour the rest of the bottle down the drain and eat something big and filling and yummy instead of having more. Then you have done absolutely no damage and you can carry on being teetotal tomorrow.

BarbaraOcumbungles Wed 06-Jun-18 19:22:34

You’re not back to square one. You’ve just had one drink! Pour the rest away and wake up tomorrow to a new day and move on with your sobriety.

I’m on 5 months sober too smile

Racecardriver Wed 06-Jun-18 19:23:28

Call some one please. Here is a whole list of helplines you can call.

Tit4TatandAllThat Wed 06-Jun-18 19:24:33

What made you have that drink today?

lastnamefirstfirstnamelast Wed 06-Jun-18 19:24:40

Don't give up, a slight blip hasnt ruined your strength and hard work so far. Pour the rest away. You dont need it OP. X

Haudyerwheesht Wed 06-Jun-18 19:24:47

Well you can think you’re back to square one and feel sorry for yourself or you can be pro active, chuck it away and start again.

HarryLovesDraco Wed 06-Jun-18 19:25:38

You aren't at square one. You have posted on here.
Tip it all away and go to a meeting flowers

Crunchymum Wed 06-Jun-18 19:25:42

What has triggered you to drink today?

Is there anymore wine left?

Is there anyone you can call or go and see?

One drink doesn't have to set you back to square one if you address it properly x

donajimena Wed 06-Jun-18 19:28:03

I've had years of being partly sober! Now I don't drink at all. Its not a waste. Its a dry run. If you can't tip it away tonight get your plan in place for tomorrow.
I found that drinking after a period of not drinking reinforced the reasons for giving up.
If you haven't read Jason vale kick the drink easily please get a copy. I'm convinced this is the reason that this sobriety has stuck.

Luisa27 Wed 06-Jun-18 19:33:50

One small blip - we all have them.
Tip the rest down the sink and call your sponsor or if not, The Samaritans - they’ll act as a sounding board.
Don’t give up - it really is a tiny blip and you’ve recognised it flowers

lastnamefirstfirstnamelast Wed 06-Jun-18 19:34:48

I forgot -be kind to yourself, if you cant get a meeting today, still pour the wine away, go for a warn evening stroll or relax with a magazine and a bar of choc etc.

GinIsIn Wed 06-Jun-18 19:37:08

Where are you? Can you get to a meeting? Pour the rest of the wine away.

LakieLady Wed 06-Jun-18 19:37:35

One day at a time, OP, and tomorrow is another day.

Kudos to you for the 5 months, and if you can stay sober for that long, one small slip won't be the end of the world.

Knittedfairies Wed 06-Jun-18 19:41:17

You’re not back to square one; you’ve managed 5 months without a drink. A slight wobble, that’s all.

RideOn Wed 06-Jun-18 19:45:44

Often people have a stumble on the sober road. You have proved you can do it.

Throw the rest away, ring for help, in the coming days you can really think about today and the lead up to it, what thoughts lead you to drink the wine. What can you put in place to keep off alcohol?

lljkk Wed 06-Jun-18 19:47:47


MyOtherUsernameisaPun Wed 06-Jun-18 19:49:59

You are not At square one. You're on here which shows you don't want to throw your sobriety away.

Tip the wine away.
Call your sponsor.
You can do this flowers

FizzyGreenWater Wed 06-Jun-18 19:50:20

No, of course it isn't all gone.

This is life, real life. There will always be challenges and always be times when you think 'ah, bad decision'.

What you have been doing this last 5 months is strengthening your experiences of the 'better you' - the 'better life' - getting a glimpse of where you want to be, and enjoying it.

To the point where, hopefully like this evening, you will have enough of the feeling of that 'good life' in the forefront of your mind to make you strong enough to pour it down the sink, go for a walk... or post on here. And to turn again to your better, nicer, happier life!

You're doing it right now.

Life isn't linear.

You are living real life, not a play.

Well done on your five months, and well done on posting here as your reaction to that bump in the road.

Hepzibar Wed 06-Jun-18 19:59:39

Contact your sponsor

DragonMummy1418 Wed 06-Jun-18 19:59:49

Go to a meeting. Now.
Be gentle on yourself, it's the abuse you give yourself that will make it harder to start again - you CAN start again!

Notevilstepmother Wed 06-Jun-18 20:03:02

All gone now like I’d never bothered


This is catastrophic thinking.

One little slip up isn’t a disaster.

5 months sober is an achievement in itself. Your reaction is also something to be proud of, you reached out after one glass.

One day at a time, and tomorrow is a new day.

Apocalyptichorsewoman Wed 06-Jun-18 20:06:17

Call your sponsor, and try and get someone to take you to a meeting - the quicker you can get back on track, the easier it will be. I would also recommend reddit stopdrinking site - really helpful xx

DianaT1969 Wed 06-Jun-18 20:13:18

You aren't at square one. Your body (and particularly your liver) have had 5 months to heal - and that's due to the amazing willpower you've shown you have.
We're human. Sometimes we falter, but consider today a blip. Pour it away and start fresh again right now.

e1y1 Wed 06-Jun-18 20:14:22

No, you are back to square one IF you go back to where you started from AND ONLY IF.

It is one drink. Throw the rest. Now.

Call your sponsor ASAP.

Livingsymbol Wed 06-Jun-18 20:22:21



Where is the kid(s) whilst this is happening?

stopfuckingshoutingatme Wed 06-Jun-18 20:25:23

Nah it’s one glass

Pour the bottle away and start again

Now it’s not that easy I know but smokers sometimes have one fag , dieters have a cake

It’s way more complex with your issue but get back on the Wagon and don’t let this be an excuse

Orlandointhewilderness Wed 06-Jun-18 20:26:44

How are you doing OP?

Halebeke425 Wed 06-Jun-18 20:28:06

Do you have a sponsor? Call them. If not call someone else you can trust.

Chuck wine out. Make some tea/coffee. Keep talking to us.

What has happened to make you have a drink? You can beat this, it's not back to square one, just a set back. Please come back and let us help.

Hiphopopotamus Wed 06-Jun-18 20:28:42

I haven’t had another one. I was in a restaurant by myself and ordered a glass. But I’m on my way home and I’ve bought a bottle. Thinking I might as well as I’ve broken my sobriety anyway.

And no need to worry about the kids - I don’t have any

SabineUndine Wed 06-Jun-18 20:30:04

A glass of wine is only a glass. Pour the bottle away and prove to yourself how strong you are.

UpstartCrow Wed 06-Jun-18 20:30:31

Get rid of the bottle.

If a friend of yours quit smoking and a year later had one cigarette, would you tell them they may as well buy a packet and start smoking again?
I think you'd talk them out of it.

Livingsymbol Wed 06-Jun-18 20:30:44

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fabellini Wed 06-Jun-18 20:31:25

Don’t use your one glass as an excuse. Chuck that bottle away, or take it to a friend and tell them to have it. You haven’t failed yet.

Semster Wed 06-Jun-18 20:31:59

Thinking I might as well as I’ve broken my sobriety anyway.

You know that's just a shitty excuse though.

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny Wed 06-Jun-18 20:31:59

I’ve broken my sobriety anyway

OK technically yes you have, but with one glass which is a bit different to one bottle.

Stop now and think of it as you've shown amazing strength to stop after a blip of one glass.

BlueThesaurusRex Wed 06-Jun-18 20:32:20

Don’t drink the bottle- start your sobriety again now. Do you have a sponsor to call?

DaanSaaf Wed 06-Jun-18 20:34:29

Livingsymbol that's really fucking stupid advice. Op please don't listen to them.

1 glass is a blip, a bottle would be disastrous for your recovery. Chuck the bottle, eat some food and have an early night.

mommybear1 Wed 06-Jun-18 20:34:53

Ok you broke it but with one glass you have control ditch the bottle and go and see someone in RL your sponsor perhaps or a friend? You can do this you have done so well so far you do not need the bottle. We are all here OP talk to us x

SaucyJack Wed 06-Jun-18 20:35:21

You had one nice glass of wine with dinner. It's a perfectly normal, non-alcohol dependent thing to enjoy doing on summer's evening.

DON'T now then fuck up the rest of your week by punishing yourself with a nasty booze binge.

You are strong enough to make the choice to call it a day after that one glass.

Give the bottle to a neighbour on the way home. You are not going to drink it.

BlueThesaurusRex Wed 06-Jun-18 20:35:40

I’m guessing living symbol is trolling... kindly fuck off with that and go elsewhere

FlamingGalar Wed 06-Jun-18 20:38:20

It doesn't generally work like that Livingsymbol

OP you can pull this back now - you can start your day again at anytime!

Call your sponsor or someone in the rooms if you are AA. Reach out to someone that understands where you're at right now. You can do this. flowers

FlamingGalar Wed 06-Jun-18 20:42:33

If you're not currently in AA look on the website and get yourself to a meeting tonight if there's one in your area. Don't over think it, just do it. You will find a room of people that absolutely get where you are at right now.

lastnamefirstfirstnamelast Wed 06-Jun-18 20:44:20

Dont drink that bottle OP, the first glass has caused a trigger. You'll feel much better tomorrow if you dont drink it x

Sugarpiehoneyeye Wed 06-Jun-18 20:46:40

OP you are amazing for reaching out, this really is no big deal, you can pull it back. Is there anyone you can visit, and drop them in a bottle of wine, on your way home. You've done five months, that's an achievement. Stay on track Lovely !

Livingsymbol Wed 06-Jun-18 20:47:08

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Alwayslumpyporridge Wed 06-Jun-18 20:49:15

Try this analogy, if you had slightly cracked the screen on your phone you wouldn’t smash it up, if anything you would be more careful with it. Now imagine that your sobriety is that phone. Ditch the bottle and call your sponsor

Ginkypig Wed 06-Jun-18 20:50:33

hip take a step back!

You posted this thread because one glass is a signal and you don't really want to drink the bottle so your reaching out for help
Well done that means you can see where this is heading but you still have the opportunity to pull this back.

stop catastrophising you have had a wobble and knocked yourself back a couple of steps but you haven't ended up at square one your still far far into your journey!

ghostyslovesheets Wed 06-Jun-18 20:50:50

don't drink more - AA

iklboo Wed 06-Jun-18 20:52:20

How is it 'clear' the OP is a troll? If you think she is report the thread.

lljkk Wed 06-Jun-18 20:55:16


senioritabonita Wed 06-Jun-18 20:56:11

No. This is not the way it is at all. Throw the bottle away and call your sponsor.

Deandre Wed 06-Jun-18 20:57:54

But your not back to square one, square one is doing it and not caring, you do care because you’ve posted about it, your at square two, higher than square one, tip it out, it will give you pleasure knowing you’ve gained strength in being able to do this knowing you could have just given in.

Your stronger than what you give yourself credit for...otherwise you’d be at square one.

Malbecqueen Wed 06-Jun-18 21:04:14

I know this place. It's a journey. You can say "feck it" and drink that bottle, but you will feel utterly sh*te tomorrow and will have even further to climb back up. Put it away. Make a cup of tea. Have a biscuit. I know you don't want to and this seems ridiculous by comparison, but give yourself some space. Work through it moment by moment - "I'll have this cup of tea and then see whether I really still want one"... I'll brush my teeth and get ready for bed, and then see..." You owe it to yourself... moment by moment... you've done phenomenally well - and you know how much better you feel off the wine... keep breathing and keep us posted xx

KarmaStar Wed 06-Jun-18 21:05:29

Are you still in here op?

smashhits90s Wed 06-Jun-18 21:08:09

It happens Op. you've been sober for 5 months and that's fantastic. 1 glass is a blip. Pour the rest away. You can do this.

HonkyWonkWoman Wed 06-Jun-18 21:11:36

Hope you're ok Hipho!
Pour the wind down the sink and eat something sweet. Get some biscuits or chocolates and a cup of tea.
It's really not too late to stop! So stop, right now!

HonkyWonkWoman Wed 06-Jun-18 21:12:04

Wine !!!!

MadMags Wed 06-Jun-18 21:17:01

Don’t bring that bottle into your house.

Throw it in a public bin.

Get home and call your sponsor. You HAVEN’T fucked it up. You CAN stop at that one glass.

Please, go home, have some tea. Go to bed.

CoffeeOrSleep Wed 06-Jun-18 21:18:02

Are you still on your way home? Pick a house - put the wine bottle on the doorstep, give yourself a little giggle at how crazy they will think their milkman is. Keep walking.

You are not drunk yet. You have had 1 glass of wine. You are still not drunk, you can decide to stay that way.

Leave the wine somewhere. Don't allow it in your house. Go home, drink a pint of water. Call your sponsor. Eat something sugary.

DragonMummy1418 Wed 06-Jun-18 21:28:22

It takes a stronger woman to pour away that bottle than it does to drink it.
You are strong! You can do it!
thanks Please call someone.

Dollius01 Wed 06-Jun-18 21:29:03

OP, that one glass has triggered a craving which will be very, very hard to resist. Don't beat yourself up about it. Alcoholism is a vile disease and many, many people have hiccups along the way before they achieve sobriety.

Bloody well done on the months you have managed it. You did that once, and you can do it again.

But please, please call your sponsor or a fellow recovering alcoholic. They will show you compassion and understanding.

If you are in AA, try to stay close to the fellowship for the next few weeks - a meeting every day if you can. It will really help.

TheEmmaDilemma Wed 06-Jun-18 22:08:41

Smash it. Do it now for your sake x

Ginger1982 Wed 06-Jun-18 22:24:25

Don't drink the bottle!

If you dropped your phone and cracked the screen you wouldn't jump up and down on it because 'oh well it's cracked anyway' would you?

lljkk Wed 06-Jun-18 22:46:48

She's getting blotto. I love AA, honest, but the all-or-nothing stance makes some feel inspired to go for it harder when they slip off the wagon "This is my only chance!" "I've waited this long" attitude.

Just excuses, obvs.
I hope someone in OP's real world life helps them get sober again, soon.

Halebeke425 Wed 06-Jun-18 23:33:11

Just know that this is not the end of your road to recovery and you can come back from this. I hope you find the support you need and are ready and willing to take it when the time comes flowers

TheHeathenOfSuburbia Thu 07-Jun-18 09:38:54

How's the hangover, @Hiphopopotamus? smile Did you get the 3am sweaty wine regrets? That's always a treat.

Be kind to yourself today. You're a person who hasn't drunk for 149 of the last 150 days, that's awesome!

I like the saying, "You don't lose- either you win, or you learn". So take this as a learning experience; what are you using for support at the minute? Do you need more support, or a different type, or...?

Hiphopopotamus Tue 12-Mar-19 01:19:59

Apologies for resurrecting my own zombie-ish thread but I’ve just been reading through all these posts again. I did keep drinking that night and kept drinking for the next three months. Just shows how screwed up my thinking was. I suffered some bad consequences for falling off the wagon but I’ve now been sober for six months again and I’m almost back on track.

My reason for seeking out this thread is that my DH has gone away for a few days and there is so much of me that is tempted to drink. That warped part of my head is saying that I have the house to myself, no responsibilities (still no kids so no need to worry about the children) My head is telling me that I could just enjoy some drinks for a few days and no-one would know. Just a little freebie.

Reading this thread has been so helpful in remembering exactly how I felt after breaking my sobriety last time and how awful it was and how difficult it is to get back on the wagon. So I won’t be drinking this week. I’ll be keeping going, eating healthy and doing good things.

Thanks to everyone’s wise words on this thread. I wasn’t ready to hear them last June but they have really helped today.

claybakefan Tue 12-Mar-19 01:29:46

Well done HipHop. One day at a time flowers

TheSchumanPlan Tue 12-Mar-19 01:33:06

Well done OP. Six months is an incredible achievement and you should be proud of yourself.

ilovesooty Tue 12-Mar-19 01:38:23

Six months - brilliant.

sureitsgrand Tue 12-Mar-19 01:39:35

Well done. My DH is 10 days sober after 10 years of problem drinking. It's the first time he's ever admitted he has a problem or wanted to give up. I can't tell you the pain he's caused me especially the last three years. He's like a new person without it, I hope he does as well as you!

Aquamarine1029 Tue 12-Mar-19 01:42:58

You are doing brilliantly, op. A step back is NOT failure. Your ability to recognise triggers and temporary weakness is a massive victory, and you have the strength to get through this. Please don't ever give up.

MrsTerryPratcett Tue 12-Mar-19 01:43:23

Treat that little voice like a dickhead that's visiting. Little arsehole wants you to fuck everything up. Nice try negative self-talk.

Think about seeing your DH Sober when he gets back. How great that feeling will be.

And go to some meetings!

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom Tue 12-Mar-19 01:52:36

Hi hip no need to apologise! I'd much much rather you gave us the chance to chat with you rather than you being on your own and struggling!

I posted on the thread the first time, and have thought about you since, I'm sorry things went off for a while but I'm very pleased to hear about your 6 months, bloody well done hip.

Well done for coming back and not trying to handle things on your own.

Your doing great, I know it's tough but you can and will get through this until dh gets home and the cravings subside a bit.

Have you got rl support? Meetings or a sponsor etc? If so use them that is what they are there for!

Tangfastics Tue 12-Mar-19 02:43:34

Your head isn't warped and that voice isn't you. It's addiction.

Don't think about the first drink, think about the last.

You got this!

ApplestheHare Tue 12-Mar-19 03:04:51

Hiphopopotamus lovely update, 6 months is such an achievement. You are doing so well. Keep it up and get to 7 months for us flowers

AgentProvocateur Tue 12-Mar-19 03:10:11

Well done. Six months is an amazing achievement. Keep it up. flowersbrew

LegitimateShite Tue 12-Mar-19 06:46:30

Six months is incredible - you are bloody amazing! You can do this flowers

fluffygreenmonsterhoody Tue 12-Mar-19 06:51:37

Wow, six months. You’re doing brilliantly. Go for seven?

Cuttingthegrass Tue 12-Mar-19 07:15:58

Fantastic update. You are so strong. Well done. What a brilliant idea to reread your thread and that you remembered then how you felt. You’ve got this.

Slowknitter Tue 12-Mar-19 07:21:41

flowers Well done, you are doing brilliantly.

BlimeyCalmDown Tue 12-Mar-19 07:25:21

Great to see an update, we often don't on so many threads!

Well done on your 6mths, as others have said try and go to extra meetings all week, plan distractions and other rewards, treat yourself in other ways all week. If you don't already have a sponsor/mentor, see about getting one this week.

You can do this!

Lou670 Tue 12-Mar-19 07:33:55

Please try and see it as a blip and it is one day. If you are counting the dry days then mentally see it as X days minus 1 rather than seeing it as going back to the start of counting all over again.

Do you have an app on your phone where it records your non drinking/drinking days. They can be very motivational as it records days dry, units of alcohol not drank and money saved.

Do you attend any group settings such as CGL (Change Grow Live) formerly known as Addaction. This charity funded organisation is for all addictions and they run 12 week courses for addicts. They are really good and it helps to be amongst people that understand. See if there is one in you area.

The self help books are good and there are a lot of them out there. 'This Naked Mind' written by Annie Grace is good. I second the Jason Vale book as well. I have also heard good reviews on Russell Brands book.

5 months sobriety is a massive achievement as some people struggle to reach 5 days. Identify what the 'trigger' was to make you want that drink. Perhaps you were upset, angry, bored or seeing if you could really just have that one drink.

Remember that you take the first drink and the second drink takes you. If alcohol is your release for when things go bad (as it does) find something else less harmful that will take the place that alcohol used to fill.

Try not to dwell on the 'one day' and focus on all of the other days that you remained sober. Each day is a new day. I know just how hard this is. I am on day 25 and it requires dedication and strength and so much focus.

I will be thinking of you. Keep on going!!

buckeejit Tue 12-Mar-19 07:34:10

Good job OP, you got this. Keep posting for support if you need it

Fazackerley Tue 12-Mar-19 07:38:39

You are amazing. Can you get out and about a bit for the next few days so you aren't in the house alone too much?

Gatehouse77 Tue 12-Mar-19 07:43:46

Fantastic achievement so far - I'd imagine it feels wonderful to know that it was you who made those changes because of a choice you made.
I'd try thinking of all those victories - small or large - to keep me going when it's tough.

Well done!

rwalker Tue 12-Mar-19 07:45:23

It's a bump in the road not a disaster . It shows how much you want to stop by being 1 glass and then your asking for help well done for 5 months Its a long road but not an impossible one. Your not back to square 1 good luck and take care

shockthemonkey Tue 12-Mar-19 07:51:01

Well done OP! Amazing work (and I know it's sometimes very hard work staying sober, but it's so rewarding, isn't it?).

ReggieWoo Tue 12-Mar-19 07:57:16

Well done OP.

It's never just one and you'll be so pleased you didn't.

One day at a time.

Livpool Tue 12-Mar-19 07:57:34

Well done OP xx

Duchessgummybuns Tue 12-Mar-19 08:01:40

Well done, another recovering alcoholic here. It’s so tough, especially when alcohol is everywhere. Keep on keeping on, I find this diagram helpful on bad days.

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