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AIBU?

Letting DD have sleepovers with her girlfriend

50 replies

Gingerninj · 28/05/2018 10:53

This probably doesn't seem unreasonable but I've been thinking about the fact that i wouldn't if she had a boyfriend. So in that sense AIBU?

OP posts:
PeakPants · 28/05/2018 10:55

how old is she?

ThePinkOcelot · 28/05/2018 10:55

How old is she though?

Gingerninj · 28/05/2018 10:58

13

OP posts:
lindyhopy · 28/05/2018 10:59

I think she is too young.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 28/05/2018 11:00

Are they having sex?

TidyDancer · 28/05/2018 11:02

This is a tricky one. She's too young in the emotional sense but there are obviously different concerns if it was a boyfriend. Not sure there's a perfect answer here.

CheeseRollingChampion · 28/05/2018 11:05

In my opinion any form of sexual relationship has huge emotional risk. Just because the pregnancy risk is eliminated doesn't make it a good idea, especially at 13. Sexual contact of any kind is a huge emotional risk.

Personally I'd say no girlfriends/boyfriends staying over until a) both 16 or over and b) established relationship. Sexuality irrelevant.

Yes they may "do things anyway" but I wouldn't make it easy. Freely sharing a bed at age 13 with someone you want to be in a sexual relationship with just screams bad idea to me.

I would talk to her about sexual relationships and the emotional side.

KanielOutis · 28/05/2018 11:06

No. At 13 you need to protect her. It doesn't matter who she is sleeping with, she's still a child. In three short years then yes, she's old enough. For now she has a lot of growing up to do.

polsha · 28/05/2018 11:10

Jesus no way!!!


Why is this even a consideration Hmm

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 28/05/2018 11:11

Woooooah! 13! No way on earth.

PinkHeart5914 · 28/05/2018 11:13

At 13 No absolutely not!

I don’t care if it’s a boyfriend/girlfriend or something that identifies as a unicorn 13 is way too young for that kind of relationship

Steeley113 · 28/05/2018 11:15

No, not at 13 and just them 2. Group sleepovers would be ok imo though.

x2boys · 28/05/2018 11:17

well as you say there isn't the same risks as a boy and girl but as I said on the other thread I wouldn't want my son to be having sex at 14 so there is no way I would be encouraging it by allowing sleep overs regardless of sexuality .

fearfultrill · 28/05/2018 11:18

13!! No way!

AjasLipstick · 28/05/2018 11:22

I allowed it recently because it was a group of four girls and two boys. One of the boys is openly gay and DD's "boyfriend" and she haven't even kissed.

They're just friends really with the title of "boyfriend and girlfriend". I know the host very well and she put all the kids in one big room and kept a close eye out.

They all had their little sleeping bags and they watched films, played the fool and then all went to sleep in a heap of girls and two little separate heaps which were the boys.

Gingerninj · 28/05/2018 11:22

It's not that I want them to be having sex or that I don't care because there's no risk of pregnancy. I have spoken to her about this and she says they "haven't done anything like that" but I'm still not completely sure. I get the feeling she just doesn't want to tell me. But even if I was to stop sleepovers she would probably still come over during the day, would I just stop them going into her bedroom alone?

OP posts:
AnneTwackie · 28/05/2018 11:24

I wouldn’t until she’s 16, also the open bedroom door rule!

Sevendown · 28/05/2018 11:25

Are they in a sexual relationship?

Luisa27 · 28/05/2018 11:25

No Shock

Exactly what CheeseRolling said

AnneTwackie · 28/05/2018 11:26

I’d be thinking more about the emotional implications of a sexual relationship, a 13 year old is not mature enough to deal with the fall out when it goes tits up or the gf decides to tell people personal stuff

bluebeck · 28/05/2018 11:26

No.

You should apply exactly the same standards as if they were in a straight relationship.

GinnyWreckin · 28/05/2018 11:28

It’s illegal as they’re both below the legal age of consent.

You’d be guilty of allowing mutual rape happening.... and SS / police would be involved.

You and your dd need to have a long chat about boundaries, consent and the law.

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x2boys · 28/05/2018 11:29

well yes op if they are going to do anything they will do regardless, and there isn't the risk she could get pregnant but condoning a possible sexual relationship at 13 seems a bit to much .

mumprincess12 · 28/05/2018 11:37

Seriously? Surely you wouldn't honestly consider this? Just No!!!

FuckPants · 28/05/2018 11:41

Absolutely no fucking way but this...

You’d be guilty of allowing mutual rape happening.... and SS / police would be involved.

Is bollocks.

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