DM keeps divulging special news that's not hers to divulge!!

[Roundtumble]

So my mum thought it ok to tell me something my friend was saving to tell me herself today!!
Conversation went along the lines of... Have you seen so and so lately?
No, was meant to see her today but cancelled due to time of the month
She's put on a bit of weight
Oh has she? (I thought nothing of this because she's been trying to for a while now).
Yh, she's pregnant.
Oh you've gone and done it again!! First you told me when she got engaged and now that's she's pregnant! That is not for you to tell me. I'm pretty sure she wanted to share the news with me herself and I would have liked to have shared that special moment with my friend also. Now there's going to be no surprise factor!

She got very defensive and annoyed at me for being so 'extra' and said well now I know not to tell you about anything again! And didn't want to hear it when I tried explaining why I didn't want to hear the news from her.

Please tell me if I am being extra or overly precious in this situation. I'm really upset to be honest. Its only a few months ago that she told me she was trying for a baby and that I would be god mother, so to not hear the good news from her is a bummer.
Another special moment ruined between 2 really good friends.

Ps. Mine and my friends dm are also very close which is why she knows.

[GalwayWayfarer]

Very annoying! It's totally thunder stealing. You will have to practice your surprised face for when your friend tells you.

[MouseholeCat]

Yanbu and she shouldn't do that. She is also being unreasonable for using "extra" as an adjective.

[PattiStanger]

What does extra mean?

[Butterymuffin]

It's actually your friend's mum who is most in the wrong here IMO. She is presumably the one who told your mum when it should have stayed a secret. I can see why your mum might think that if she's allowed to know, why not tell you too?

[MirrorMirror21]

I think it's funny your mum uses the word extra. Does she have a big Instagram following?

[Eastcoastmost]

My DM is always doing stuff like this. Literally doesn’t get it. Had a job interview recently, only she and DH knew, suddenly she’s telling me that she’s spoken to SIL about it ‘because she thought I’d have told her’. Did similar actually years ago - I should have learnt by now not to divulge anything! So I totally sympathize!

[Roundtumble]

Haha extra means dramatic in this case @ PattiStanger

[Sparklesocks]

I have known people like this, they love being the person to break big news - im not sure if they get some kick out of being listened to/centre of attention with it? They’re also the ones who love to be the first to tell you about celeb deaths etc..

But YANBU, it was your friend’s pregnancy and she should have the joy of sharing the news. If your mum does this frequently it might be worth trying to sit her down and gently explaining that not everything is hers to share..although I know it can be tricky.

[Username12345]

She shouldn't have said if she didn't want it to get out. You could have pretended you didn't know when she got around to telling you.

So yes you were unnecessarily extra to have a go about it.

[blacklister]

Argh. I had a falling out with my mum over this! My cousin (who I am really close to) fell pregnant and only told her mum. On the day of her 12 week scan she told her Mum she could tell mine (her sister) and she wanted to ring me herself.

Literally seconds after my aunt must have got off the phone, my mum rang to tell me. She blurted it straight out too, and as she was doing so my cousin was ringing me on the other line! I hung up on my mum, spoke to my cousin, acted surprised and was delighted for her and then rang my Mum back to tell her off. My mum ended up falling out with me because she couldn't see what the problem was and got really stroppy with me - accused me nastily of being jealous of my cousin. She didn't speak to me for weeks.

Best thing was, that very morning I'd found out I was pregnant too. Jealous my backside! Our daughters were born eight weeks apart.

This is really thunder stealing. Every single time my mother does something like it I pull her up on it publicly. I hope one day to embarrass her out of making everything all about her!!

[pastabest]

My MIL does this.

She's otherwise lovely but has a really bad habit of sharing news that isn't really hers to share.

It's always made me a bit uncomfortable knowing things about DP's close family members that I didn't feel it was my business to know at that point.

The weird thing is she has gone no contact with people who have done similar to her around (non embarrassing, non serious) health issues she had a few years ago. Cut them dead because 'they had no right to tell people'.

Well I didn't think it was really her place to tell people about my miscarriage either but it didn't stop her!

I genuinely think she would be mortified if someone pointed out her double standards, she's generally well intentioned but really not very self aware .

[specialsubject]

simple solution - dont tell secrets to known blabbermouths. although why good news is less good if you arent the first to know is beyond me.