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AIBU?

Using DC's earned money for ourselves?

238 replies

EatonEntry · 27/05/2018 14:33

To pay off our outstanding debts?

In a nutshell, myself and DH have quite a few things on finance that we are dying to pay off so we can be much better off eacgh month. We have both vowed never to have anything on finance again (we did it in a made rush when we needed things to move with).

Our DC is a baby and a very successful model.

Would we be unreasonable to use his money that earns to pay off some stuff?

I feel sick at the thought. It feels so wrong. It's in DC's own account, and I'd be withdrawing it from there. I feel like it should be his to have put away for his first car, perhaps to help him at university if he wishes to go, perhaps to help put down the deposit on a mortgage for himself.

DH's argument is we have extortionate rent to pay, and that money could make life from month to month a lot easier if we pay off our finance plans.

I think and feel that the whole thing is wrong, but I'm open to be told DH has more sense.

Who is right?

Sad

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PoohBearsHole · 27/05/2018 14:35

I think you’ll find it’s not legal but I’m sure someone else can tell you more

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AornisHades · 27/05/2018 14:35

If you used the money could you set up a standing order to replace it?

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VioletCharlotte · 27/05/2018 14:36

I thought money made from child modelling had to be put into a trust account for them?

I'm not sure what I think tbh. It doesn't feel right. But if paying off the debt means a better quality of life for your baby, then maybe it's ok.

I guess it depends on how much you're talking about? And whether your plan is to put the money back when you can?

Also, do you really think you'll be able to not get into debt again. I know so many people (including myself) who pay off debt, then it starts creeping back up again.

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Surfingwhippet · 27/05/2018 14:36

Why not use it and pay it back so it's still his for when he needs it

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EatonEntry · 27/05/2018 14:37

Pooh Someone close to us was disgusted we'd even consider it and said it was illegal, but I thought they were talking rubbish? Maybe not then!

Aorn That's what I said as one of the options... Using it and then each month, a standing order of so much goes back in. By the time he's 16/18, he will have more than double what he would've

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Bluntness100 · 27/05/2018 14:38

Isn't that stealing from your own child?

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Somerville · 27/05/2018 14:38

Grin at a baby being a very successful model.

Personally I've borrowed my kids' savings one one occasion when it was the only way to pay absolutely essential bills. I paid the money back with internet as quickly as I could.

In your situation I don't think you should because it's non essential, however if you do it should be a loan and you should pay it back with interest; sending your child out to work for merely your own financial benefit would be appalling.

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VogueVVague · 27/05/2018 14:38

Its wrong. Basically using your baby as a cash cow to buy stuff you cant afford.

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kaytee87 · 27/05/2018 14:38

I don't think you could, even if you wanted to.

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Zampa · 27/05/2018 14:39

We have savings accounts for our children. Should something go wrong that would mean we're about to lose the house or something equally drastic, I wouldn't hesitate to spend the money.

However, if you can afford your debt repayments, I don't think you should borrow from your child.

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Somerville · 27/05/2018 14:39

I paid it back with interest, clearly, not with internet Hmm

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NewYearNewMe18 · 27/05/2018 14:40

I think you’ll find it’s not legal but I’m sure someone else can tell you more

Please do substantiate that. Because unless the law has recently changed, parent/guardian has control over a minors funds. (I come at that with 20 years in banking, albeit I changed careers 15 years ago)

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Emmageddon · 27/05/2018 14:40

I couldn't do it. It may not be illegal but it is immoral in my view. Grit your teeth and pay off your debts using your own earned money, not your child's.

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Rocinante1 · 27/05/2018 14:41

Didn't macauley cumin sue his parents for doing this?
It's not your money, and if you do it once, you will find yourself saying "oh, we'll just borrow a little bit more from DS and add it to the tab to pay back". But you won't pay it back as people who end up with everything on finance tend not to be so good with budgets.

You could make an argument for taking your expenses (fuel costs for travelling to his shoots) but really, that's it. You cannot take his money.

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myheart · 27/05/2018 14:42

I think it's fine if you then set up a standing order to pay it back over time. So when he is 18 he will have it.

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SparklyMagpie · 27/05/2018 14:42

Paying it back would only be an option??

If it was an absolute emergency I would and would pay it back wothinterest asap

Tbh you know the risk with finance, so you have to suck it up

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Rocinante1 · 27/05/2018 14:43

*culkin not cumin. Hahahaha.

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NewYearNewMe18 · 27/05/2018 14:43

McCauley Culkin is American

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Storm4star · 27/05/2018 14:44

I don’t know the legalities of it but I think it’s wrong to take it. You and your DH may now regret getting the things on finance, but that is what you did, it was your decision as adults and the consequences of that are for you both to deal with, without taking your child’s money. It really shouldn’t even be an option.

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EatonEntry · 27/05/2018 14:44

We can't really afford our month to month outgoings because of our finance plans. If we paid them all off, we would be around £300 a month better off. We're always just about managing.

If we used the money, we'd be better off monthly. Although, DC never goes without anyway

My view on this is a definite no, as if feels somewhat wrong. It feels like my baby is working to 'keep the keep' which is utterly unthinkable to me.

DH sees it as necessary and wonders why we wouldn't if it meant we could breath easily each month.

Ironically, we are otherwise good with our money now. It's these finance plans holding us back so much.

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CaptainMarvelDanvers · 27/05/2018 14:44

I would assume that money earned is different from money given from relatives or yourselves. Technically it’s not savings, it’s earnings.

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Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 27/05/2018 14:44

Agree with newyear and I come at that with being a Trustee on various childrens accounts

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MinorRSole · 27/05/2018 14:45

I agree with @Rocinante1 - if you do this you'll end up taking it all and not paying it back. You won't have felt the pinch of paying for things you bought but can't afford so it won't deter you from doing it again.
If your rent is too high then perhaps consider a cheaper area within commuting distance.
You need to live within your means

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Bluntness100 · 27/05/2018 14:45

Using it and then each month, a standing order of so much goes back in

What's the real likelyhood of you doing this and sticking to it? I'm sure you'll both find another reason you need the money and can't pay it back, and once you've taken from your child once, you'll probably keep doing it, because there is always a reason isn't there.

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AnnieOH1 · 27/05/2018 14:45

Is there actually a Trust been created? Not just the account, but an actual trust that's Baby Eaton Entry Trust Limited or similar? Does the account belong to the Trust and is it a trust account? Presumably you're both the Trustees. I think you could make the argument to withdraw funds on the basis of either a loan or for paying for things that benefit the child. If it isn't held in Trust though you''ll need to take some independent legal advice.

Trustees must be seen to manage funds for the benefit of the beneficiary. This can mean that for a children's trust that the money is invested in property or the stock market, but you have to remember too that the Trustees are usually personally liable for mismanagement. Tread carefully.

Do you cover all the out of pocket expenses of getting your child to shoots? The cost of their portfolio etc? If you do that should definitely be paid by the child's account.

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