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To assume if you are anti-abortion, you are...

(432 Posts)
Hamandcheesebaguette Sat 26-May-18 20:24:21 a full, complete and comprehensive government benefits system to fund mothers for at least the first 5 years of her child's life?

I'll tell my story, it's not particularly interesting or traumatic, but had I not had access to a safe abortion at 6 weeks then I honest to god don't know how i would have not have ended up homeless or starving.

When I was 21, I met a man. Same age as me. I was working in an airport, leaving for work at 2.45am and usually not getting home until after 4pm. My take home pay was around £980 per month. After rent in my 1 bedroom flat in the cheapest (and also not particularly pleasant) area in my expensive city, council tax, topped up my gas and electricity meters and phone bill (I didn't even have a TV!) I had £35 left to eat and pay for buses to work for the rest of the month. After only knowing this man for 6 weeks, I found out I was pregnant. I was on the pill, maybe it failed, maybe I had missed a couple, I don't know.

Should I have had that baby... how in the hell would I have been able to provide anything for it on that wage? Oh wait, I wouldn't have had a wage at all bevause I wouldn't have had anybody to care for my baby whilst I was working full time and leaving for work in the middle of the night.

So I assume, if you are anti abortion, and I had had that baby, you also agree I should have been entitled to a reasonable council property (not covered in damp or mould or other H&S issues), my rent paid, my council tax paid, plus money provided for gas, electricity, food etc. Plus some furniture (as I always rented fully furnished and didn't have any furniture of my own at 21), a TV, broadband (or maybe I should have sat in with my baby with absolutely nothing except the walls to stare at...)

Plus possible full training paid for by the government when I could have gone back to work once this baby reached school age, as I wouldn't have been a very attractive job applicant by this point.

AIBU to assume this is tour stance if you insist I should have been forced to have been a mother when I didn't want to be one, couldn't afford to be one?

WittyJack Sat 26-May-18 20:28:15

I always think this when I see the American right wing weirdos pop up on things like the George Takei Facebook page. Whatever the topic, they can twist it to be about blaming women for abortion.

Pro-life - what they really mean is not pro-supporting that life when it's here angry

Choice is the key word. For me, a non medical abortion would never have been the right choice. For every other woman on the planet, they should be able to make their own choice, and not have anyone else's choices forced upon them. Yes that can be hard on the man sometimes, but it's not his body, so it's not his choice.

vampirethriller Sat 26-May-18 20:29:22

My mother is rabidly against abortion. She's also not in favour of anything else you mentioned. She'd tell you to have it adopted.
I had an abortion six years ago and can never tell her because she would disown me.
You did the right thing. So did I. Fuck anyone who says otherwise.

GreyGardens88 Sat 26-May-18 20:30:06

I don't support abortion, and I do think it is murder. I know it's not a popular opinion but that is what I believe

Soubriquet Sat 26-May-18 20:31:17

She'd tell you to have it adopted

This is the answer everyone anti abortion says.

Either that or you should have kept your legs closed. hmm

NakedBrainStrollingInManhatten Sat 26-May-18 20:31:19

@GreyGardens88 then you are the perfect person to answer the ops question aren't you?

freezerfoodyum Sat 26-May-18 20:31:35

Oh well that seems reasonable then GreyGarden, good for you biscuit

vampirethriller Sat 26-May-18 20:32:16

But do you support everything else Op mentioned?

Ginger1982 Sat 26-May-18 20:32:39

Yeah come on GreyGarden let's hear it!

Hamandcheesebaguette Sat 26-May-18 20:32:56

@GrayGardens88 that's your opinion, that you are entitled too. But what would you suggest to 21 year old me in the above scenario then?

Adoption? So at 21 years old, I carried that baby to term, gave birth to it and gave it away. And have to tell everyone, family, friends, colleagues that I gave it away... Bevause they all would have known I was pregnant obviously. Not to mention all the hormones etc following the birth of a baby... which might have led to me actually keeping the baby after all and hey look, we're in the exact same position?

Flyingpompom Sat 26-May-18 20:33:26

I don't like abortion. I wouldn't choose to have one. However I support the right of other women to make their own choices.

LockedOutOfMN Sat 26-May-18 20:33:55

Op, you said you didn't want a baby, but you had sex so there is always a risk of pregnancy. Also, the father would have 50% of the responsibility to support the baby. After he had done his share then yes of course the government should provide support so that no child is turfed out onto the street.

bbcessex Sat 26-May-18 20:34:10

grey garden - that’s your right to feel that way (I absolutely don’t, for the record).

Do you feel that way for every pregnancy situation ?

freezerfoodyum Sat 26-May-18 20:34:33

I don't like abortion. I wouldn't choose to have one

Can't see how you can say you don't "like" abortion, as you haven't had one.

No one "likes" abortion. I had one at 19. I didn't "like" it.

Pengggwn Sat 26-May-18 20:34:50 a full, complete and comprehensive government benefits system to fund mothers for at least the first 5 years of her child's life?

I am pro-choice, but this is bonkers.

freezerfoodyum Sat 26-May-18 20:35:22

Also, the father would have 50% of the responsibility to support the baby.

Yes, because all men pay up to support their kids, don't they. Oh wait...

IJustHadToNameChange Sat 26-May-18 20:35:37

I'd like to know how many 'pro-lifers' have actually been in the position of needing to think about their childbirth options.

NakedBrainStrollingInManhatten Sat 26-May-18 20:36:05

I though that the father only had parental responsibility if he was named on the birth certificate? Of course correct me if I'm wrong.

Sprinklesinmyelbow Sat 26-May-18 20:36:24

To be anti abortion you have to accept women like savita Halappanavar will die carrying dead fetus’ until it expels itself. Fuck adaoption, how much must you hate women to want that?

reallybadidea Sat 26-May-18 20:36:41

My parents are totally and utterly against abortion. They also think 'the breakdown of the family' ie single parents are responsible for pretty much everything that's wrong in society (poverty, drugs, crime, etc). They do not see the contradiction in these two points of view hmm

Hamandcheesebaguette Sat 26-May-18 20:37:25


I'm not even responding to the ridiculous notion that no woman should have sex, even if they are taking appropriate precautions, if they are not ready/do not want a baby

But it's easy to say the man has a responsibility... my dad never paid so much as a penny towards me, so that's nonsense. What if the man did a runner and disappeared, became unemployed and didn't pay anything? Like my dad did? (He didn't, were still together now smile)

Pengggwn Sat 26-May-18 20:38:21

I'm not even responding to the ridiculous notion that no woman should have sex, even if they are taking appropriate precautions, if they are not ready/do not want a baby

It isn't a ridiculous notion at all. It is exactly what we say to men: there is always a risk of pregnancy. Sex isn't compulsory.

WindAndWuthering Sat 26-May-18 20:38:29

I presumed anti abortionists believe you should only have sex if in a committee relationship?

Thehogfather Sat 26-May-18 20:38:35

Yabu to limit it to the first 5yrs. Up to 18 they should also be willing to cover the extra costs and earning limitations.

Also if the opening post had simply been 'a twat' then ywnbu either.

WindAndWuthering Sat 26-May-18 20:39:11

Oh gosh great typo.
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