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To think this isn’t fun?

(34 Posts)
crazytiredboth Sat 26-May-18 16:16:07

Namechanged because I’m basically about to slag off my mates/question my sanity.

I have eight month old twins. My only children. Closest family live four hours away and

mrselizabethdarcy Sat 26-May-18 16:16:59

And ?

SparklyMagpie Sat 26-May-18 16:18:36


crazytiredboth Sat 26-May-18 16:23:34

Ffs that’s a good start. Pressed too soon.

Basically all family live a long way away. I am on my own with the twins 95% of the time. Love them. We have a lot of fun. Etc etc.

Currently staying with family where I grew up and seeing mates etc (who we see perhaps every couple of months) with all their kids. Kids age ranging from 6 months - 3. Earlier there were 8 kids here. It was, as you can imagine, chaos.

That being said, the adults seem to love it? Everyone wants to go to the pub for lunch tomorrow even though it will be a table of 26 (!!) most of which are babies and toddlers. I’m praying the pub won’t have space.

Am I a misery guts? Or is it ok to find this kind of socialising tiresome?

I can’t see why the mums can’t meet up without the kids and then the dads? (Ok I know that’s perhaps super sexist and I’d like to see the guys a lot, we’re all mates, but I feel like I don’t want to see ANY OF THEM if we’re just running after wild screaming babies throughout.)

Now people are talking about us all going on holiday to share a massive villa?!?

Oh god I’m horrible aren’t I? Just can’t see why anyone would want to spend so much time - let alone a week - with this many kids running riot. I find looking after my two chaotic enough.

So AIBU to not want to sign us up for this holiday? (Worth bearing in mind that I haven’t even been abroad with my husband and twins yet by ourselves) And does it get easier?! Or is this my life til they leave home?!

Bitchywaitress Sat 26-May-18 16:26:37

Sorry OP I'm had to go and throw up having heard about the villa thing. Sounds like pure hell.

crazytiredboth Sat 26-May-18 16:26:46

Should add that we do of course spend time with other families when we are at home, I’m just not used to being with SO many babies and for such long periods of time. I haven’t come away from today thinking “same again tomorrow!” like seemingly everyone else. I’ve come away thinking I must be mad for not enjoying this new chapter of crazy in our lives.

sexnotgender Sat 26-May-18 16:32:01

God no, the thought of a massive villa full of children sounds dreadful.

Buglife Sat 26-May-18 16:33:52

I’d say for this weekend If you haven’t already made plans to meet up without the kids it’s a bit short notice for parents to arrange/decide between them who goes out. Also it being a bank holiday, daytime plans tend to involve children if you have them! I think as your children get older you do tend to accept a certain amount of socialising with other parents with children as the children like to be around other kids and entertain each other. Yes it can be a bit mad (I’d assume it won’t be as disruptive in a pub if they were sat eating but of course there will be kids chatter etc) As for a holiday it’s entirely up to you what you want to do, again with a baby I’d probably not want to go on a big holiday with older kids but now I have a 4 year old I went away with family with kids because he loved playing with cousins, and also we were going to spend the time doing things he wanted to anyway so we may as well have other parents with us to share it! Also meant we could have an evening out with someone watching DS. I think YABU to be cross your parents with friends want to spend the bank holiday with kids but YANBU to not want to do a big child full holiday... yet anyway!

TheVanguardSix Sat 26-May-18 16:35:19

Oh my god! Time to go ghost!

You had me confused at the pub.
But the villa? That’s just taking the horror show on the road! No way.

It’s funny. I was out with my kids and one of them needed the loo. There was a pub, so we went in to use the loo and it was all stuffed to the gills with tables shoved up together to accommodate a bunch of parents and their tired, bored, whinging kiddies. My exact feeling was one of sheer exhaustion. The mums looked drained. I just thought, “Why? Why do it to yourselves?”

So, no OP. You’re rational, not miserable. You couldn’t pay me to sign up for the villa experience! confused

PixelAteMe Sat 26-May-18 16:35:38

That sounds truly awful. The pub lunch sounds bad enough, but staying in a villa with so many young children would be horrendous. Why would anyone pay a load of money to endure other people’s kids running riot and throwing tantrums in addition to their own? That would certainly test the friendships ...

Buglife Sat 26-May-18 16:35:48

Oops, my child is 3 actually 😂 he’s 4 soon!

GreatDuckCookery Sat 26-May-18 16:36:54

Other people's dc can be grating especially if they're particularly noisy.

Definitely decline the holiday offer.

confusedlittleone Sat 26-May-18 16:37:24

And if they didn't invite you you'd be posting about what horrible friends they are for not asking

sexnotgender Sat 26-May-18 16:38:17

Also I can virtually guarantee you that a few of the mums would end up doing all the donkey work in the villa and everyone else would happily leave them to it.

crazytiredboth Sat 26-May-18 16:39:49

@sexnotgender Yep, that would be me.

TheVanguardSix Sat 26-May-18 16:40:58

Oh and of course it gets loads easier! Holidays with other kids can be awesome from like ages 4-5 onwards (not sooner, unless you have a very easygoing toddler, which I’ve never had). We’ve done weekends with friends and rented places (locally in the UK) and it’s been great. But we’ve only done this with really true friends, friends who know how we tick and kick, easygoing friends. Kids, as they get older, have a blast with each other. So definitely you’ll be able to enjoy this type of thing later. But when kids are small, it’s just such hard work.

sexnotgender Sat 26-May-18 16:42:22

Me too, it's just how I am. I'd be really pissed off though.

crazytiredboth Sat 26-May-18 16:45:11

@thevanguardsix Thank you. I think part of our problem is the group of friends is wide, even holidays en masse pre-kids would seem hard work when you’d have 14 people trying to choose a restaurant etc. But I do hope (pray!) that it will be fun when all DC are older.

I wonder if I’m also just being selfish because my two “have each other” and maybe those with one baby worry they get bored without a playmate?

Or maybe I just need a drink!

crazytiredboth Sat 26-May-18 16:45:48

@sexnotgender might make Seething Martyr my next username.

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy Sat 26-May-18 16:56:02

Nooo! That’s NOT a holiday! I can’t imagine anything worse. Just say no, OP.

plominoagain Sat 26-May-18 17:07:06

God no . A massive villa full of other people’s kids , having to grit my teeth , whilst feigning jollity and contentment , whilst the other adults are no doubt doing the same , up until the last night night when no doubt vino will be consumed and home truths will no doubt be told? Fastest way to fall out I can think of . No no no .

Puttingthefootdown Sat 26-May-18 17:13:29

No not when they're so young. It's just no fun at all.
However my older 3. 6, 8 & 10 are so much more easier to handle and have fun with. That's when you can actually relax with a cold beer and let them play together without worrying.
Babies no! Toddlers no!
My youngest is 2 and as much as I love her. I love when we can go out with the older 3 without her when she goes to grandmas. Its ace.

We're going to the cinema in a few weeks to see 4D and I'm more excited than them grin

Motoko Sat 26-May-18 17:22:31

Going away with ONE other family, could be doable, but not several families. That would be hell!

Don't feel that you have to go, just because you've been invited, and small children and babies, don't really get anything out of a holiday, they'd be just as happy sitting in a sandpit in the back garden.

CupofFrothyCoffee Sat 26-May-18 17:23:34

YANBU...sounds hellish.

crazytiredboth Sat 26-May-18 17:33:09

Thanks all. Glad I’m not just being a misery. Hopefully everyone just got overexcited over the BBQ and every couple is now at home having similar “so how the hell do we get out of THIS?” conversations.

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