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AIBU?

Would you give up having children to own a house?

113 replies

thinking3333 · 26/05/2018 09:14

Would you buy a house knowing the mortgage payments would probably mean you could never afford to have a child?

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thinking3333 · 26/05/2018 09:15

We are about to buy a house but I know there's no way we could afford to rely on just one income/pay for childcare if we have kids in the future.

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VogueVVague · 26/05/2018 09:15

I dont actually think kids are that expensive if you keep things simple.

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PeonySeason · 26/05/2018 09:16

What a strange question OP. No, of course not.

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Osirus · 26/05/2018 09:16

Then both work?

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VogueVVague · 26/05/2018 09:16

But to be honest no, i wouldnt prioritise a house over kids.

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Lottapianos · 26/05/2018 09:16

It doesn't really matter what other people would do OP, it's up to you. Different people have different priorities and not everyone is itching to have children

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8pinksnails · 26/05/2018 09:16

Is renting cheaper? My mortgage payments were lower than my rent

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HeyDolly · 26/05/2018 09:16

If you really want to have a child/children then no, I wouldn’t. It’s only bricks and mortar.

What are your current outgoings in terms of rent or mortgage and what would the new mortgage outgoings be?

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ArtBrut · 26/05/2018 09:18

So both work, as a pp said. Why are you assuming that one of you stops working if you have a child?

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Pibplob · 26/05/2018 09:18

No but I would aim to do both. Buy the house and after a couple of years (assuming you have time) the mortgage payments will go down an little. Spend those couple of years saving for Mat leave and then go back to work after may leave. You can have both.

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Osirus · 26/05/2018 09:18

There’s no way I would buy a house knowing that I then couldn’t have kids. There’s nothing quite like having your own child and I’d never give that up.

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BillywilliamV · 26/05/2018 09:19

No, but then I am on MN. I had a visceral need for children, at the end of the day a house is just another thing. However its sad that anyone has to make that paticular choice, I wouldn't judge anyone who had made it and kids arent everything.

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EightdaysaweekIloveu · 26/05/2018 09:21

No.

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Ansumpasty · 26/05/2018 09:21

No
Many people with no children factor in the price of children onto what they already spend. I’m not talking about child care here, but nappies, clothes etc.
We don’t have any less money now that we have 2 children. The money we used to spend on weekends away, meals out, clothes for myself, expensive hair cuts etc is now just spent on the children. It’s a natural progression that I’ve never actually noticed. I don’t miss expensive meals out with my husband as they’d actually be quite boring without my kids. The joy I used to get in buying an outfit for myself doesn’t compare to the joy I get when buying one for my children. Just a thought

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museumum · 26/05/2018 09:22

I think the biggest cost in having a child is housing. We tried in a one bed flat but nearly went crazy with falling over each other. We moved when she was 2.

So no I wouldn’t give up the idea of having a child for a house, I would delay it (if possible) and I wouldn’t have a child in a one bed flat with no prospect of moving.

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thinking3333 · 26/05/2018 09:24

@VogueVVague kids themselves aren't expensive but it's the childcare and loss of earnings that would be difficult.

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KindergartenKop · 26/05/2018 09:24

If you need two incomes to pay a mortgage then it is an either or situation. If one parent gives up their job to look after the kids then that incone is gone, alternatively you both stay at work and spend the equivalent of one salary on childcare for 4 years.

In response to your question, I'd prioritise having kids.

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thinking3333 · 26/05/2018 09:24

@ArtBrut childcare is very expensive so working full time wouldn't really be an option, and going part time would obviously = less money

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Agent13 · 26/05/2018 09:28

I wouldn’t give up having children for a house. But that doesn’t mean everyone else should be the same. Depends how much you want children. If you already feel you won’t be able to afford it, then it sounds like maybe you’re overstretching yourselves which isn’t sensible anyway - could you look for a smaller house/different area etc?

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surferjet · 26/05/2018 09:29

Hmm. I certainly wouldn’t want children if I’d end up in awful housing ( really rough council estate, tiny cramped flat on 17th floor type thing ) but I’d work hard to avoid that & just have one child instead of the normal two/ three.
I wouldn’t not have a child at all.

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thinking3333 · 26/05/2018 09:30

@Agent13 the area is cheap in relative terms, and to buy cheaper we would have to move far from our jobs which wouldn't be ideal. Even then, we couldn't afford to live on one income/one and a half income

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TeenTimesTwo · 26/05/2018 09:31

I would a) buy a smaller house, and b) remember that childcare is for only a few years, so can be partly saved for in advance.

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yellowmellw · 26/05/2018 09:33

@thinking3333 your assuming that you both are going to be in perfect health and might never have to rely on one income I think it's too risky unless yous have savings

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GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 26/05/2018 09:33

I think people often don’t plan enough but I think you’re actually worrying too much. Things somehow fall into place after you have kids. Also you or DH may a better job. How old are you? If youngish Id but the house and see how you get on. You’ll probably be able to afford kids in a few years.

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MsGameandWatching · 26/05/2018 09:34

No.

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