Dad infidelity

[Amatullah]

Hay guys new here..
Soo confirmed today my dad(57)told my mum today he's got another woman abroad..he does "business" abroad goes back twice a year n stays for very long periods. He's told her he will move the name of the properties into her name but the income from rental property will go to him so he can live off this whilst abroad with his new woman!! I actually cannot believe the audacity..
My mum doesn't know what to do shes been through alot with him n stayed in the marriage for x y z reasons. My grandma dad's mum still lives in the same house shes had a stroke many years ago and has carers to the house to.look after, but before that my mum had been her main carer whilst still having a full time job. Feel like my mums done so much for him and he's just thrown it in her face. She doesnt know who to speak to and feels like shes be a laughing stock of he does go ahed with his plan

We all have had inklings of his behaviour because he's never been a straight up guy and i remember an instance of infidelity when i was 12 and then you just know growing up.. hes been to prison too, gambles and can be very volatile. Currently not been speaking to him as the last time I was at the house we had a blazing row n he was very abusive. He then few weeks later will try and talk to me like nothings really happend. I haven't been back to their house since.
I really want to call him And ask him what his exact plans are, should I get involved?

Also what are mums rights regarding properties and income..

I just feel so awful for my mum

[Eddie1940]

She has a good daughter !
I would say firstly you have identified he can be volatile so think about any risks he presents and mangage these . Don t get into a huge row if you think he could be volatile . You could think about contacting a local DV service if you think it’s appropriate. Your mum needs legal advice . Find a solicitor - they might provide 1 initial free session / they should advise

[yoyoyou]

Your mum needs to get legal advice re. Her rights.

Your Dad is a dick.

[justilou1]

The best solicitor money can buy!!!

[Puttingthefootdown]

He isn't aloud to dictate. A court needs to do this! Its infidelity. I bet you he doesn't want it to go to court because of this!

[Babdoc]

I’m not a lawyer, and of course your mum needs good legal advice, but I would let him transfer all the properties into her name. Once that’s done, she should simply claim all the rental money from “her” properties! Or sell them and invest the proceeds.

[BeachyUmbrella]

Get your mum on MN for advice and support.

[Puttingthefootdown]

Babdoc

I’m not a lawyer, and of course your mum needs good legal advice, but I would let him transfer all the properties into her name. Once that’s done, she should simply claim all the rental money from “her” properties! Or sell them and invest the proceeds.

Do this

[junebirthdaygirl]

Whatever about the properties l would not be caring for his dm while he swans off. I know she is old but its his responsibility to look after her. Your dm is not a slave.
Yes to solicitor straight away but no to caring.

[Amatullah]

Thanks guys..
Yes she definately needs a good solicitor and i think some counselling to get to feel abit better bring her self esteem up.
@Junebirthdaygirl I dint morally shed do this n tbh my grandma gets carers 3x a day now if this was a few years ago where my mum was doing practically everything itd be different, plus shes in her 90s o dont think she has long left. My mum sees her as a mum so it comes from a place of love. My dad's family all support in their own way too to her care.
My mum did call me saying shes not going to let him get away and win, he's already transferring this woman money And my mum banged to speak to her and she did the typical witchy mistress line "obviously he's not happy with you".. I would proclaim my dad's having some kind of mid life crisis but he's been pretty crap for a very long time now.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

Get her to see a solicitor. Before she does she should gather as much info about assets/Debts/income/liabilities as she can. The infidelity is irrelevant. Court won’t care about it if/when it makes a decision on the money.

[DamsonGin]

She needs legal advice quickly, and bank statements to show what's being transferred to the ow. Sorry your dad is a dick.

[SandyY2K]

Even if he transfers the house into her name...it would still be regarded as a marital asset and he could claim half if it's sold...so I wouldn't agree to his proposal without solids legal advice.

Divorcing and splitting everything seems a better option.

[DamsonGin]

That's a really good point, Sandy.

[Amatullah]

@sandyY2K so does that mean that even if her name is not on the properties (they were along time ago and apparently now theyre not) she still has a right to them legally? I'm trying to get as much Information as possible to advise her that she actually has options and to go ahead with solicitors.

[SandyY2K]

It could still be deemed a marital asset eben if it's just in her name . I know men and women who purchased a house before marriage. In the event of a divorce it's seen as a marital asset regardless.... and has to be split upon sale..unless there was a pre nup. Legal advice is best.

[SandyY2K]

If those rental properties were bought during the marriage...then she certainly has a claim on them. I'm assuming you're in the UK?