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To decide what I want to drink before going to the bar?!

(18 Posts)
NoNamesLeft86 Fri 25-May-18 21:21:24

I don't get out much so maybe I am being unreasonable.

So me and some friends walked into a pub. None of us get out much and we were waiting on a few others who were going to arrive any min. We got a table and sat down and were discussing what we wanted to drink/who was buying etc and the landlady came over and very sternly told us we needed to order a drink and we couldn't sit in her pub if we were not buying. We had absolutely no intention of not ordering drinks but tbh we felt like leaving after this - didn't exactly make us feel welcome.

We had been sitting with out drinks yes but only for maybe 3mins?

UpstartCrow Fri 25-May-18 21:22:46

That sounds like a lovely welcoming place for women to drink in /s

NotUmbongoUnchained Fri 25-May-18 21:24:09

That’s better behaved than me! I stand at the bar like this 🤔🤔🤔🤔 for about 5 minutes before I can decide! (Then order the same drink i always have)

ScreamingValenta Fri 25-May-18 21:26:05

YANBU. I would have left and found somewhere friendlier.

UpstartCrow Fri 25-May-18 21:26:17

Its embarrassing standing at the bar reading a million options while the bartender stand there with a pleasant, interested expression on their face and I cant make my bloody mind up. I end up wondering how long they can hold the expression and ordering a pineapple juice.

ShutUpBaz Fri 25-May-18 21:45:27

I'm getting splinters from the fence I'm sat on!

You shouldn't take up a table if you don't have drinks. The LL was rude but you hadn't spent any money and were using seats that customers who had already bought drinks could have used.

However, as an ex-bar person (I now work in kitchens because the public baffle and infuriate me), standing at the bar umming and ahhing about what to drink is just as annoying. The queue is probably building up behind you and quite frankly, you could have decided before coming near the bar, but I can't break off and serve someone else because that would be rude.

So many contradictions in my post!!

As you were.

ScreamingValenta Fri 25-May-18 21:50:03

I wonder if there is another group of women who have form for sitting around for ages not buying anything, and LL mistook you for them.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo Fri 25-May-18 21:52:25

It’s bank holiday weekend. LL was probably expecting to be throbbing full and didn’t want people who weren’t ordering hogging tables.

mrsshelby44 Fri 25-May-18 21:54:58

3 minutes?? The LL was a dick how was she after you got drinks?

Rocinante1 Fri 25-May-18 22:04:10

It's normal, when you're in a group of friends or meeting friends, to go in and sit down - take off coat, settle bags etc then take a look at wine list/cocktail menu/beers available. I've never gone in a bar and went straight to order while still in my jacket or with my bag etc.

That would have pissed me off and id have gone elsewhere.

Angie169 Fri 25-May-18 22:05:07


I worked behind a bar for years and I agree with you it drove me nuts when people that had been waiting for a while to be served , when you ask them what they would like they look at you all surprised like ooohhh I am in a pub , how did that happen ! then spend ages deciding what they want then looking for their purse / wallet . FFS hurry up

Angie169 Fri 25-May-18 22:07:38

OP the LL should of been much more friendly but perhaps people loafing around is a issue in that pub .

Mousefunky Fri 25-May-18 22:12:43

Agreed with Angie. I worked behind a bar as a student and those customers were the absolute worst. It was between the ones that would stand deciding for ten hours when you had a queue of people waiting or the ones that would ask which the best drink was hmm.

YANBU in this situation, she was rude. Perhaps she has people drifting in often to use the loos or escape the cold and not buying anything though so this is the method she has taken.

NoNamesLeft86 Fri 25-May-18 23:23:43

See the reason I asked is that one of the girls in our group seemed to be very much on the LL side and had been itching to get to the bar before LL even came over - saying we needed to get ordering etc.

It wasn't tonight it happened, it was last weekend but only just got round to asking lol but it's been on my mind who was being Unreasonable.

We were all fairly dressed up, it's not like we looked like homeless people lol. And all in our 30s. So I was quite suprised they assumed we were scroungers blushconfused

Bouledeneige Fri 25-May-18 23:32:39

I personally wouldn't need a big group discussion on what to get to drink, its not exactly complicated knowing what to order - unless eating a meal or sharing bottles of wine. And if you're drinking cocktails they are individual drinks so dont need a consultation with anyone else. I actually dont like group decision making so I'd normally say to a friend you grab a seat and I'll get your drink rather than waiting for everyone else.

LL was rude - who goes to a pub or bar and doesnt order anything - but it sounds a bit precious dibbling about discussing what to drink.

angryburd Fri 25-May-18 23:43:41

I never understand how it takes people any length of time to decide what drink they want. Like my go-to is bacardi and coke. I might want something else, but if I can't decide or the bar is busy then that's what I'll default to.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo Fri 25-May-18 23:49:36

So I was quite suprised they assumed we were scroungers

Who said you were scroungers? Scrounging what?

NoNamesLeft86 Sat 26-May-18 09:30:36

I guess we weren't literally having a group discussion about what to drink but more just settling at the table, finding out if the others were almost there etc. Quick talk about weather to do rounds or individual drinks etc. Like I said we are all mums who don't get out much.

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