Aibu to think my sister is moving too fast?

[Mintoreos]

My sister has been married for five years now, together for 7. They have three small children. To be honest, I've always thought her husband was a bit of a twat, but she thought he was brilliant and has always been very invested in family life, lots of family days and holidays out etc. She's worked very part time or has been a SAHM.

Eight weeks ago dsis was talking about buying a new house with her DH and having another baby. Nothing seemed different. I don't know what has happened during those eight weeks, but long story short, she has left her husband, has put the children in full time wrap around care and has been spending three or four nights a week with her new boyfriend. She's hardy seen her DC, but today I found out the boyfriend has now been introduced to them.

Dsis has some money (we both inherited from our grandmother) but she's never really worked and left university half way through, so she hasn't got very many qualifications. She hasn't really given us any reason for what has gone on- just that her marriage with her dh has been over for some time and that it's time for her to do what she wants. She clams up when we ask more, and just sings the praises of the new man

I suspect she's had an affair, but my issue is that things are moving so fast with this new man, and it's bound to be disruptive for the children. New man doesn't seem to have a job, so it's dsis paying for all their meals out and cocktails, but that money will only last so long.

I don't know what to feel really. She's always had a habit of dropping things half way through, getting bored easily and going for the new and shiny option, but I never thought she'd do this to her kids and I'm worried for all of them

[Whatshallidonowpeople]

It's none if your business and you'll get no thanks for interfering

[Wellthisunexpected]

All you can do is be there (for the kids) once it all goes tits up, if it does.

[Tinkobell]

She's an adult. You've got to let her live her life I'm afraid.

[Mintoreos]

I don't really have any intention of interfering. But eight weeks from breaking up the family home to introducing the new man... He could be anybody

[Buzzlightyearsbumchin]

She might have been having an affair for a year or more.

Not great circumstances, but you don't know she hasn't been seeing him for ages.

[KittyVonCatsworth]

I would say the affair has been going on longer. Her ‘excitement’ of a baby and an even perfect home was her last ditch attempt of backing out of the affair. She chose not to. That’s her problem I’m afraid. I would be there ready for the fall if it comes.

[CloudCaptain]

Yanbu. But nothing you can do except try to support the children and keep an eye on them.

[SandyY2K]

She's moving fast and I would tell my Dsis on that position...but ultimately it's up to her.

It seems like she's gone from one useless man to another.

[Mooneyes]

Not exactly putting the kids first is she?

[whatamistake]

Crap parenting. Just my opinion!

[Dieu]

Your sister's a fanny. Sorry.

[Fruitcorner123]

, but I never thought she'd do this to her kids
I think thats potentially a bit harsh. She has left a marriage not abandoned the kids. You said yourself he's a bit of a twat. I think introducing them too early is not great but leaving a bad marriage in itself isn't morally wrong. It sounds like you dont know the full details so best to just stay out of it and not judge too much.

[Ethylred]

From your description she is silly.
Nothing to be done about it though.

[agnurse]

From what I have been told, it's common for a woman to emotionally leave a marriage long before she physically leaves it. Hubby's first wife left him for a day about a year before they finally split up. A friend convinced her to return, but the marriage didn't last. We suspect that by that point she had likely already "checked out". (She did have an affair as well.)

[wtf2018]

It's horrendous for kids to move at such a fast pace and suddenly have to share a parent with what is to them a stranger. Makes me

Given it all steaming ahead so fast could she be having a mid life crisis/manic episode? If not an affair