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To be annoyed at having to keep quiet about my baby's sex?

(148 Posts)
mintich Fri 25-May-18 08:50:50

I am pregnant with my second baby and my in-laws have decided they don't want to know the sex of the baby. They did this with my first baby and it was stressful trying not to slip up. A member of the family did slip up and they were really angry!!
This time more family members on their side have decided they don't want to know but I just think it's stupid! It's our news and we should decide whether it's a secret. It makes me not want to talk about the pregnancy at all with them. AIBU?

willnotbetamed Fri 25-May-18 08:53:50

YANBU! As you say, its your news, and how you choose to talk about your child is your own decision. You should tell them to ignore the pronouns if they don't want to know and then do exactly what you want. Congratulations on your pregnancy btw!

Winchester13 Fri 25-May-18 08:55:21

It’s your choice to tell everyone the sex! If you want to go ahead, it isn’t up to them.

Ifailed Fri 25-May-18 08:55:32

It's your baby, so it's your circus, unless one of them is going to offer to carry on the pregnancy and birth on your behalf, it's nothing to do with them.

WhiteCoyote Fri 25-May-18 08:56:22

They sound very controlling. I’d be tempted to just put it on Facebook (and I never use the damn thing) grin

KirstenRaymonde Fri 25-May-18 08:58:37

Yeh it’s really not up to them. Tell them you’re announcing it because you can’t be arsed with awkward half secracy, and it’s your baby so you get to decide. The only people who can make the know/not know decision are the parents.

MyOtherProfile Fri 25-May-18 08:58:40

It's your secret and you get to decide who you tell.

OakIsBetterTho Fri 25-May-18 08:59:57

What a bunch of twats. It's your news, you should just say and talk about whatever you want tbh, they're being controlling over a situation which has nothing to do with them.

WatchingFromTheWings Fri 25-May-18 09:00:16

I'd be tempted to start referring to the baby as 'boy name' or 'girl name'! Even if undecided about names....pick something random!

Booboostwo Fri 25-May-18 09:00:42

They are being weird, it is not their decision to make. You can talk about the sex of your baby and they can close their ears!

The things relatives come up with to pester their families with!

emmyrose2000 Fri 25-May-18 09:00:58


With requests this ridiculous the only logical thing to do is ignore them.

Don't let it stop you from referring to the baby as he/she as the case may be.

PastaOfMuppets Fri 25-May-18 09:02:00

Show them some stuff you've bought the baby, in all pink or all blue, then pretend to have forgotten they hadn't wanted to know

emmyrose2000 Fri 25-May-18 09:03:18

I’d be tempted to just put it on Facebook
I loathe gender reveals events, but in this case I might be tempted to go out of my way to stage one and stick it on Facebook. grin

TheDrinksAreOnMe Fri 25-May-18 09:03:38

Haha fuck that, it's up to them to make sure they don't hear. LOL anyone would think they were having a baby. It's not their surprise to have. :/

Start talking about it. Now. On Facebook, in front of them , refer to the gender as she or he.

bridgetreilly Fri 25-May-18 09:03:58

Just tell everyone.

emmyrose2000 Fri 25-May-18 09:04:01

Oh, and tag them in it. wink

MatildaTheCat Fri 25-May-18 09:04:18

Tell them that in that case you won’t be announcing the sex of the baby at the birth either and will opt for gender neutral names, clothes and toys for the first few years.

YANBU, you can do as you please.

AuroraFloyd Fri 25-May-18 09:07:25

I'd love to take it even further and keep it secret forever. Just never announce it and whenever they refer to the baby as he or she get really offended and tell them not to assume your baby's gender. Serve them right!

SleepingStandingUp Fri 25-May-18 09:12:28

Aurora I was going to say the same

"MINTICH has been safely delivered of a baby today, 8lb 6, born at 3.05 pm"

Then when they ask name and sex say you're keeping out a suprise until they find out naturally, but you're calling it Bob in the interim

GrasshopperLane Fri 25-May-18 09:13:09

I went through this with my DM. She was the only one who didn't want to know and it was stressful as I didn't want to watch my words constantly.

When pregnant again I told her I wouldn't be hiding anything.

Juells Fri 25-May-18 09:15:18


They sound very controlling.

^^ This. I'd tell everyone, and be ready with a very cool response if they kick up about it.

Hideandgo Fri 25-May-18 09:15:57

It sooooo silly. It is no more of a surprise at the birth than during the pregnancy.

Sometimes I think people have lost the ability to actually think and are just trotting our meaningless Hollywood moments.

Juells Fri 25-May-18 09:17:53

Tee hee to the 'gender neutral' suggestions.

"Please refer to my baby as 'they'. A gender has not been assigned."


mumofmunchkin Fri 25-May-18 09:18:08


"sorry, we're not doing that this time as it caused us a lot of stress last time which I'm sure was not your intention. It's a girl."

KTD27 Fri 25-May-18 09:19:56

We have had this!! Both sets of parents and siblings have declared they ‘don’t want to spoil the surprise’ though why it would be any less of a surprise whilst pregnant is beyond me. Also we have known since 9 weeks due to some chromosomal testing we had to have done so it’s been a LONG time keeping this a secret. Only 7 weeks left until they can all say ‘I knew it’ sigh.

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