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Child Contact Drop Off Change

(36 Posts)
TKBGH190 Thu 24-May-18 15:38:18

Person A: Child's 60% Resident Parent
Person B: Child's 40% Resident Parent

Person A and Person B have a strained relationship.

Person B had child and was due to return child at 7pm to other home. Contact times / dates / locations are pre-arranged per court order.

Person A text Person B at 5pm to request that child be dropped off at work instead of home.

Person B did not see message.

Person B rings doorbell at 7pm and home is empty. At that point they check phone and see message. Reply "sorry have just seen the house just now... will take child to the park and Person A can text when are home"

Person A replies "on the way and will be there in 20 minutes (7:30)"

Person B advises they are now at park anyway so will bring child back at 8pm.

Person A replies that 8pm is too late for a school night and to bring back immediately so child can stick to required routine.

It is now world war 3.


Di11y Thu 24-May-18 16:00:06

Person a should have followed up with a call. Person b should stay for a short but reasonable time at park and try to be home before 8. Partly depends how far park is and how old child.

Aprilmightbemynewname Thu 24-May-18 16:01:42

Genuine mix up and dc will enjoy the park?!

Fruitcorner123 Thu 24-May-18 16:02:47

depends how far park is and how old child

this but person A should chill. They changed arrangements at last minute so they should suffer the inconvenience. Am more sympathetic if child is only reception but much older than that and am sure they will cope.

Allthewaves Thu 24-May-18 16:06:27

Person A should have just accepted 8pm drop off. They changed plans, then B adapted

Lethaldrizzle Thu 24-May-18 16:08:57

So the argument is about a half hour time discrepancy? The pair of you need to grow up. Why can't people be civil to one another after break ups.

justme28 Thu 24-May-18 16:09:01

Surely original plan should be adhered to if it's by court order.

Kidssendingmenuts Thu 24-May-18 16:09:39

Person a and person b need to get a grip! It's only 30 mins extra in the park ffs and they prob wouldn't be asleep by then anyway. It's no ones fault and it's petty.

xyzandabc Thu 24-May-18 16:10:23

Unless child is in reception, as a one off 8pm is not going to cause any harm. Even for reception, things just happen sometimes. It's far easier and more pleasant to take things as they come rather than go was war with someone over a bedtime delayed by 30 minutes.

Person B used their initiative rather than sitting on the doorstep for half an hour.

Person A needs to calm down, no harm was done, they can have an early night the next night. Nothing to start ww3 about at all.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo Thu 24-May-18 16:11:44

Person A needs to get over themselves.

TKBGH190 Thu 24-May-18 16:13:30

Thank you for the replies. I am neither Person A, nor Person B, I just wondered what people's opinions were on it - as it is a situation I am observing baffled by the whole thing envy

Person B waited for 10 minutes before going to park, but at that point had not received a reply from Person A. Person B received the message once at the park already. (Circa 7:20ish)

Child is 7. Park 10 minute drive away.

Flatdilemma Thu 24-May-18 16:14:27

There was a mix up.
Person A should have followed with a call.
There was half an hours difference and the child had a rare 'late' evening of fun in the park.

Everyone needs to get a grip!

Flatdilemma Thu 24-May-18 16:16:10

Definitely at 7 then no harm done. In at eight. Quick bath, story bed for half past.

x2boys Thu 24-May-18 16:40:21

it's half an hour everyone needs to grow up hmm

CrochetBelle Thu 24-May-18 16:45:50


It is going to be me who points out the obvious?

Brakebackcyclebot Thu 24-May-18 16:50:19

Person A is being entirely unreasonable. A changed the arrangement, B responded once they saw the message and did what they could to adapt to new situation.

The more I think about it, the more unreasonable person A becomes. I wonder if person A is actually setting person B up.

The whole situation is ridiculous, and who suffers? The child - who instead of an extra fun half hour in the part with parent B, now has to live through world war 3. So damaging for the child.

Brakebackcyclebot Thu 24-May-18 16:53:02

WIBU = Who is being unreasonable, not was I being unreasonable??

My answer is still A. 100%

Travis1 Thu 24-May-18 16:54:22

Person A changed things, they need a grip, one slightly late night won't kill the child.

VioletCharlotte Thu 24-May-18 16:55:17

Person A is being unreasonable. They changed the arrangements and should have followed up with a call as didn't get a reply to their text. Person B did what they could to accommodate once they realised the arrangements had changed. Half an hour makes wont make any difference to the child at all. Ridiculous to make a fuss!

TKBGH190 Thu 24-May-18 16:57:30

Sorry, yes by WIBU I meant "Who Is Being Unreasonable..."

(I'm a long term lurker still getting to grips with the abbreviations blush)

Thank you for the general consensus. Child was returned at 8pm, and WW3 started because Person B did not listen to Person A and return child when told 8pm was too late.

emmyrose2000 Fri 25-May-18 04:47:12

Person A needs to get a grip. S/he is the one who changed the plans, so needs to suck it up.

MoggyP Fri 25-May-18 06:32:57

I disagree - person A waited 10 mins, then went to the park, and had arrived there by the time B caked to say 20 mins, be there at 7:30.

So the park must be right next to the house. Twenty minutes unexpected playing sounds plenty for me - nice surprise.

More than doubling that, when there isn't really a need and it's impinging on bedtime on a school night; sounds like power play.

youarenotkiddingme Fri 25-May-18 06:51:09

Person B made last minute changes to arrangement.

Person A soul ds like a control freak who wants to change arrangements to suit them but it can only be done their way.

Park on a nice summers evening one day before school holidays is hardly crime if the century! And it was half hour!

Blankscreen Fri 25-May-18 06:55:58

Person A is being ridiculous.

fabulous01 Fri 25-May-18 06:59:20

If there is a court order it isn’t a good relationship where people understand mistakes happen

This will go back to court and only winners are the solicitors for fees

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