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AIBU?

My "so-called serious illness"

36 replies

TheDairyQueen · 23/05/2018 23:31

Work for company at 7am on Sundays, finish at 2pm. Letter came round want to change 3pm to 9pm. I work a different post through the week so would have less than 11 hours between jobs. I'm anorexic attending psychiatry, psychology and dietetics. Wrote back to say felt new proposal unfair. Some snotty wee cunt comes back asking about my "so called serious illness"! AIBU to say stick your condescending tone and stick your fucking job, I quit?

OP posts:
dangermouseisace · 23/05/2018 23:38

I’d remind him that 20% of people with anorexia die, either from the disease or suicide, and that it has the highest mortality rate of all the mental illnesses.

And then tell him to go fuck himself.

dangermouseisace · 23/05/2018 23:41

PS good luck with it all from an ex Ana Flowers

Lollipop30 · 23/05/2018 23:43

If you can afford to I’d be wanting to tell them to stick it also

IceBearRocks · 23/05/2018 23:49

Ex Anna here too...beat the wall!!!!

GetOffTheTableMabel · 24/05/2018 00:09

You’re holding down 2 jobs while dealing with an exhausting, relentless, horrible condition. You are stronger than you think. You wouldn’t be unreasonable to tell him to stick it but calm down a bit first and think about whether it’s what you really want. If you want to keep the job then push back. This person needs some education.

UpstartCrow · 24/05/2018 00:11

Contact ACAS for advice Angry

LighthouseSouth · 24/05/2018 00:42

OMFG
Have you got that in writing?

I'd be looking for some compensation. There's no cure for stupid so I wouldn't bank on making this person understand anything.

hoistTheSales · 24/05/2018 06:06

This reply has been deleted

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Imchlibob · 24/05/2018 06:16

It sounds like this situation has escalated to name-calling unreasonably quickly.

They ask you to change your hours
You reply politely saying that proposal is unworkable for you as you have inflexible commitment on Sunday afternoons and evenings which are vital to your health and wellbeing.
They have to accept that. If they no longer have a requirement for a worker on the Sunday 7am-2pm shift then they make you redundant, otherwise you continue as you were.

Anorexia is a very difficult condition to live with. You sound like you are coping brilliantly - well done. I just think the antagonism could have been avoided.

Barbaro · 24/05/2018 06:24

I would politely remind them that they could find out more from your union regarding physical and mental illnesses that affect people in their daily life.

Tallyhooo · 24/05/2018 06:29

Have you contacted a discrimination lawyer?!

Coyoacan · 24/05/2018 06:46

Why shouldn't they enquire?

They are asking the OP to radically change her working hours and when she explains why she can't, they question the seriousness of her explanation, sneering at her illness. That is not enquiring.

Tallyhooo · 24/05/2018 06:50

Coyoacan - I agree - that's not enquiring - that's discrimination and a serious lack of understanding - also illegal - I'd be on the phone to a solicitor...

LighthouseSouth · 24/05/2018 11:12

hoistTheSales - having your medical condition referred to that way, by a member of management or HR (I'm guessing) sounds like a good case to me.

they can either cope with being sued or quietly pay off OP.

you are really okay with how they described her illness?!

UtterlyDesperate · 24/05/2018 11:21

I realise it's unpleasant and unprofessional, no matter what, but it also depends what op said. If her letter was "as I'm seriously ill you can go fuck yourself" it still doesn't justify the response but might explain better their aggression (which is still invalid, unpleasant and unprofessional). If, on the other hand, OP had said "I am unable to accede to your request to alter my contractual hours. As you are aware, I am a disabled person as classified by the Equalities Act (2010), and as a result, have existing commitments relating to my ongoing health needs" then it's rather different. (And even more unwise of them)

LighthouseSouth · 24/05/2018 11:28

the OP said she wrote back that the new arrangement was unfair.

well that is her summary.
the words she used here were the response in her head, I thought?

MereDintofPandiculation · 24/05/2018 11:29

The OP, if I understand it rightly, is working at two jobs, and this would give her less than an 11 hour gap between the Sunday job and the Monday job. European working hours directive specifies a minimum time period between finishing work one day and starting again next day which I think is 11 hours. The "total hours

PieAndPumpkins · 24/05/2018 11:44

Is she called your anorexia a so called serious illness, or does she not know about your anorexia? Is she in HR?

Melliegrantfirstlady · 24/05/2018 11:47

I’m afraid without you explaining I also don’t understand why a change in time you go to work affects your illness?

Ubercornsdiscoball · 24/05/2018 11:49

So your issue is the lack of time between shifts? But they are 2 different jobs?

pigmcpigface · 24/05/2018 11:53

Melliegrant - it's right there in the first post: 'I work a different post through the week so would have less than 11 hours between jobs. I'm anorexic, attending psychiatry, psychology and dietetics".

Calling anorexia a 'so-called' illness is fucking outrageous. You need to seek legal advice, OP. Ignore the cunts on here who have no idea what living with a serious ED is like.

pigmcpigface · 24/05/2018 11:55

Also I'm assuming that the OP didn't actually say 'stick your condescending tone' - she's asking whether she would be unreasonable to do so in future. The answer is - get legal advice first as this may fall under discrimination.

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BitOutOfPractice · 24/05/2018 11:56

Where does it say she told them to go fuck themselves in her letter? She says quite clearly that she explained in the letter why she feels the change is unfair.

3333hh44 · 24/05/2018 11:58

Are they 2 different jobs op? Because if they are they don't have too make the allowances for the job.

Ubercornsdiscoball · 24/05/2018 11:58

But if they are different jobs they won’t care how long you have between shifts. Regardless of health issues. That’s not their problem

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