I have posted a couple of times under various different names but I am so fed up I wanted to put some of the issues all in one place.
Tonight dh has called me a cruel, controlling manipulative b and if i don't sort my act out he's going. The background to this is:
DC is nearly 2. We both work full time. He works shifts (mixture of days and night including weekends), I work mon-fri in quite a demanding office job. DC goes to daycare 5 days a week.
DC does like to be picked up a lot and generally when they ask I pick them up. Dh does not. For this he says I am ruining DC and there is no need for them to be picked up. It doesn't stop me getting anything done, dinners are still cooked and the house cleaned with DC attached to me somehow. If not being picked up DC will follow me round the house and 'help' with chores. Dh again says this is wrong because DC should be able to entertain themselves instead of not letting me get in with stuff.
I have only left dc overnight once, and that was a couple of weekends ago for our 4th anniversary. We don't have a lot of support (my parents are elderly, DH's not in the best of health) so we have to ask DH's sister to help. This is apparently a sign I don't trust anyone else. We have left dc for days out together (football games, events, random meals out) I also work from home 1 day a week and if dh is not on shift we spend time together then or I take time off work to spend a day with him.
Nursery pick up and drops offs are also an argument. I do the majority of drop offs in the morning tho there are 2 weeks in 5 dh can do them. I ask to pick DC up once a week as dh normally does this but apparently this is also very selfish and I just should just leave pick ups to him.
I didn't want to give up DC's dummy or bottle at night as it helped DC get to sleep at night (was only having water in bottle). After several screaming rows I agreed to take these away. It can now take DC up to an hour to go to sleep as they are not very good at self settling. This is my fault as it what i have done to them. I'm also not allowed to rub DC's back to help comfort them to sleep
If DC wakes in the night I am not allowed to go and see to them. Admittedly I did use to run in as soon as DC murmered (post bagel anxiety) but now I do let dc stir a bit if they are really upset I will go and see them. Again this is wrong and i should just let them cry. I literally have to sit there and wait until dh says I can go and see them.
These are just some of the issues but it's really getting to me now as I don't feel I am doing a terrible job but obviously he does
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To be fed up of being spoken to like this
141 replies
puzzled90 · 23/05/2018 21:38
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.