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to sacrifice my 20s for money?

(234 Posts)
CharliesSister Wed 23-May-18 17:54:35

Name changed because this is outing, I've posted about my job before.

I'm 25. Fairly recently I got a job abroad as a Nanny. The money is very good, enough for me to put around £6k a month into savings. I'm very lucky.
However, the salary is high because my life has been sold (temporarily) to the family I work for. I work 7 6 days a week, 24 hours a day. I live in a country where socialising is near on impossible, and I don't have time anyway. I have one months leave a year which I use to see my family, I don't go on holidays.
The positive side of having no life is that I don't spend any money, so the vast majority goes into savings.

The plan is to stay working here until I'm 30 or go mad and use the money saved to buy a house outright, and therefore buy significant freedom and stability for my 30s onwards.

However, all my friends are off having a wonderful time of it. There's posts all over social media of lovely holidays, exciting new relationships and parties. I've been invited to several big parties back in the UK where all my friends will be (and I've not seen most of them for 6 months or more) and I know I can't go.
I'm tired all of the time, I'm insanely bored (there's nothing to do here) and no one around me speaks English so I'm isolated too.

Am I silly to stay? My friends and family are jealous of the opportunity I've been given so I feel incredibly guilty to not be loving it but someone today said that I was wasting my youth, and money isn't everything.

(Note: whilst I don't actively enjoy it, I don't hate it either and feel I can stick it out for a few years)

monkeysox Wed 23-May-18 17:56:07

I think you're sensible saving up now.
Do it for a year or two then reassess

DuchyDuke Wed 23-May-18 17:57:03

Stick with this for as long as you can. 6k/mth will buy you security later on.

Domino20 Wed 23-May-18 17:57:09

Honestly, you will still be young in your thirties. Stick it out for as long as you can!

Snipples Wed 23-May-18 17:57:11

6k a month savings is 72k a year so why do you need to spend all your 20s doing this to build a decent chunk of cash for a house? Surely 2-3 years max would be sufficient? No more than 5 anyway. Up to you OP. Life is short.

Redrunbluerun Wed 23-May-18 17:58:56

Sounds good to me, your friends must have jobs too, so they can afford travel and so on, and they’ll be stuck doing a 9-5... their lives aren’t so great (don’t believe everything you read on social media...).
Save up and enjoy a mortgage free life 😃

CharliesSister Wed 23-May-18 17:59:00

I'm 26 (*typo on OP*) so another 4 years @Snipples

I guess I'm having 30s cold feet too, I always figured that people had their shit together in their 30s but now it's approaching I'm getting a bit concerned that my only plan is saving money and hoping for the best

BeardofZeus Wed 23-May-18 18:00:47

Agree with monkeysox, dont forward plan so much that you feel locked in to a particular goal to the detriment of your MH. 6k a month for a year or two will give you a small house or flat outright, or a fantastic deposit for a bigger property, whilst giving you a chance to still have some of your 20s! Perhaps you could have a separate savings pot to travel for six months once you decide to leave your current job and do that bit and meet people and have fun that way!

Icklepickle101 Wed 23-May-18 18:01:20

I’d do it for 2 years, come home and get a house with a small mortgage.

I’d want to be settled in the country I want to live in before 30 and thinking about a partner/babies

CharliesSister Wed 23-May-18 18:02:16

@BeardofZeus thank you, that's true.

In regards to travel, I've done a lot of that. I've lived in South Africa, Switzerland, Germany, the US and travelled a bunch of other places - I must be pretty boring because solo travel didn't really work for me blush

bringbacksideburns Wed 23-May-18 18:03:15

No. Go out there and have fun.

Money is not everything in life. None of us know how long we have left.

Compromise and get another job somewhere where you get time off and can socialise?

Who has kids just to be in the Care of a nanny for 24 hours a day? confused

Your twenties are gone in the blink of an eye. I'm 50 and look back on them fondly. You will never get that youth back.

FowlisWester Wed 23-May-18 18:03:17

I would look at it more as it's saving you sacrificing your 30s/40s/50s/60s working full time and scrimping to pay a mortgage.
20s... drinking... hangovers etc is overrated😁

SleepingBooty Wed 23-May-18 18:04:45

Definitely a wise decision to stay and save. You may be envious of your friends fun few years now but I absolutely guarantee they'll be envious of your mortgage free decades to come. Financial stability is highly underrated when you're young and free but being beholden to a mortgage for 25- 30 years sucks.

CharliesSister Wed 23-May-18 18:05:20

Who has kids just to be in the Care of a nanny for 24 hours a day? @bringbacksideburns I'm one of 4 nannies for 3 children.... let's not get started on that! grin

QuoadUltra Wed 23-May-18 18:05:28

Stick with it. Seriously.

Stay in touch with everyone, use your time off. That money will really set you up for life if you use it right.

Racecardriver Wed 23-May-18 18:07:57

All the sensible ones do.

mindutopia Wed 23-May-18 18:08:04

I would do it for a year or two. I wouldn’t sacrifice 4 years for it though. 1-2 years of saving will set you up well for life. You could even go home, buy a house and let it out while you travel or whatever so that your investment is being taken care of. But for me, my 20s were amazing and carefree and I’m glad I had fun before life got more serious. I wouldn’t necessarily give up on all that unless you see this being the sort of career you want to build for life (in which case then I’d carry on).

Gammeldragz Wed 23-May-18 18:08:17

Plenty of people I know wasted their 20s being high and/or drunk and are now in their 30s with no hope of owning a home and no career plans...
I spent mine raising kids and being very poor.
There's no right path for everyone, so ignore the wasting it comments, but if your job makes you unhappy then that's different. Your plan sounds solid otherwise, probably the most spare money you'll ever have!

TestingTestingWonTooFree Wed 23-May-18 18:08:21

I’d hang on in there, but maybe see if you can make your month off a bit more fun.

CharliesSister Wed 23-May-18 18:08:47

It's probably important to note that I'm teetotal and antisocial grin, rereading my OP makes me sound party obsessed, which I'm just not.

Marchinta Wed 23-May-18 18:08:56

Can you do online language courses or some Open University degree modules so you feel that when you’re ready to leave you have “something” to connect you to the mainstream world outside nannying?

Going out getting drunk and dating weird men isn’t really the be-all and end-all as you have this amazing opportunity for financial security.

But I’d be thinking about your “personal development needs” IYSWIM? So you aren’t leaving knowing the ins and outs of one family but not much more besides that.

CharliesSister Wed 23-May-18 18:09:59

unless you see this being the sort of career you want to build for life @mindutopia The job that I have now is the top of the ladder for a Nanny, you cannot get higher paid than this, or higher profile really, so this is it in terms of career progression.

Bananalanacake Wed 23-May-18 18:10:45

Make sure your bank account pays good interestsmile

TheHulksPurplePanties Wed 23-May-18 18:11:12

Honestly no. I value my 20's immensely, but not because I made money, but rather I lived life. I'm well aware of the environment you're describing, and I'd rather be in debt and having a good time.

raisedbyguineapigs Wed 23-May-18 18:12:08

I'd stick it out as long as possible. Chances are you will have a long life. Of course bad things could happen but you will have financial security and be able to have a great time knowing you have some security, rather than spending everything because life's short then realising it's not that short for most of us and struggling. Of course if it's horrendous then your mental health is more important. I can't possibly think how much work 4 nannies would have to look after 3 children! I presume the parents will be seeing the kids for an hour a day or something hmm

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