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Inheritance - am I being U?

(87 Posts)
Littledrop Wed 23-May-18 15:59:49

Regular poster but have NC'd for this.

My mother passed away a few months ago, I have a 2DB and 1DS and our mother left a will which left us each a quarter of a (fairly sizeable) estate. The estate is still going through all the legal bits but my issue is that a couple of other relatives have indicted that because my siblings have children and I don't, they feel that their share should have been more.

I can be a bit sensitive about the 'not having children' thing anyway (50+ & single so no hope now sadly) but I'm finding it really upsetting, basically it feels like they are saying I am worth less because I'm on my own?

Or do you think their amount should be more as they have families and bigger outgoings? AIBU?

DartfordBridge Wed 23-May-18 16:01:15

Yanbu and flowers for your loss

olivesnutsandcheese Wed 23-May-18 16:01:41

Wow Yanbu. Your siblings are being CFs for even suggesting such a thing.

HollowTalk Wed 23-May-18 16:01:49

No way! Tell them it's absolutely nothing to do with then. I wouldn't mix with then at all, frankly.

Lethaldrizzle Wed 23-May-18 16:02:33

No that's bollox. It was their decision to procreate

bellabelly Wed 23-May-18 16:03:07

A) it's none of their business and B) your mother obviously felt it was fair to divide the money equally between the four of you. Sorry for your loss.

BlueJava Wed 23-May-18 16:03:19

To my mind the amount you are left in a will has nothing to do with your circumstances, but has everything to do with what the person who made the will wanted! Whatever they left you and others should be honoured, it doesn't matter who has the most kids/biggest house etc.

olivesnutsandcheese Wed 23-May-18 16:03:23

Sorry just realised that it was relatives who made the comment not your sibs. Your relatives should shut up and keep their nose out. Sorry for your loss

DillyDilly Wed 23-May-18 16:03:35

Sorry for your loss. Your mother divided her estate between her children. Your siblings can divide their own Estates equally between their own children in the future. End of!

Whatshallidonowpeople Wed 23-May-18 16:03:44

Your mother decided what she wanted. It's her will.

pullingknots Wed 23-May-18 16:04:06

No. Unless there is any indication that the will is contrary to what your DM would have wished in some way, YANBU.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but I think they are being extremely rude (and grabby if it's your other siblings that have raised the matter.)

Littledrop Wed 23-May-18 16:04:27

I forgot to say that it's not my siblings saying this, they would never think that (I hope anyway). I have a strong relationship with them all, and their children.

TeresasGreen Wed 23-May-18 16:04:30

YANBU. In fact when DM died, DSis and I paid more towards one part of DMs bequests than DB, because he didn’t have any children to benefit from the bequest.

Travis1 Wed 23-May-18 16:04:50

your relatives should mind their own business!

GreenTulips Wed 23-May-18 16:04:55

I agree you share fairly between the 4 children and what they do with it is their decision- same a step your share.

You don't get more because you give birth - that's crackers

TracyBeakerSoYeah Wed 23-May-18 16:05:41

Sorry for your loss flowers
Your Mum has 4 children & has decided to share her estate equally between you.
The other relatives are being very very unreasonable

Littledrop Wed 23-May-18 16:06:26

thank you all, i think i have just got myself in a tizz about it because i'm very sensitive. it has been mentioned that my mother talked about doing this, but i never heard of it. and it wasn't actioned.

littlewoollypervert Wed 23-May-18 16:06:45

Ignore the other relatives - they are shit stirrers.

1) it was up to your mother to leave her estate as she wanted - and she chose equally

2) I think equal shares is fairest anyway - you don't then have to assign values to each sibling and perhaps take into account their relationship with the deceased. My parents have always said anything left after they pass will be divided equally so that me and my brother and sister don't argue amongst ourselves!

Also, you might have less resources as you get older compared to another person with a partner/family - yes children are expensive little feckers, but in a lot of families in later years, children look after elderly parents. I haven't articulated this properly but I'm sure someone can come up with a nice pithy phrase to tell the other relatives if they comment again!

raisinsraisins Wed 23-May-18 16:07:28

YANBU. If your siblings aren't single, then they have partners who help pay towards their mortgage, bills etc. You are on own so have more responsibility for yourself and no one to fall back on for help. Sorry for your loss, but don't feel guilty about the money!

BluePheasant Wed 23-May-18 16:07:39


Equal split between siblings is nearly always the fairest way. Doesn’t matter who earns more, who has more children etc. They are being grabby.

FullOfJellyBeans Wed 23-May-18 16:07:46

If your mother gave her estate to her children not her grand children then of course you get your fair share and it's up to all of you what you do with that money. If your mother had wanted her money to be left to her grandchildren she would have left some to them directly.

So sorry for your loss.

littlewoollypervert Wed 23-May-18 16:08:02

p.s. sorry for your loss

AmazingPostVoices Wed 23-May-18 16:08:37

Your relatives should mind their own business.

Your Mum left her money equally between her children. That’s fair and was her choice.

I’m sorry for your loss.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Wed 23-May-18 16:14:31

Sorry about your Mum. Tell your relatives to butt out and mind their own business! FFS... flowers

shoelaces Wed 23-May-18 16:15:21

My DM has told me she is splitting inheritance 50:50 with me and DB. I have 1 child and he has 2. My 'share' will be then split50:50 with me and DS. DB's share will be split 33:33:33 between him and his 2 DC's.

On one side of the coin, you see grandchildren getting different amounts. Does DM love them any different?

I'm more well off than DB. He has very little money, but I would get more than him. Is it fair?

Yes. Because it's what DM has chosen, in circumstances where there is no fair answer.

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