To ask what are the main differences between you and partner.(66 Posts)
I know gender conditioning will play a part, but what way do your brains seem to work completely different to each other?
To start, I'll say my memory is hugely superior to his, it amazes him the small irrelevant details of an occasion from years before. I also cry at silly things, he never does. I know that could be possibly that we're two separate human beings, but maybe not always? Anyone like to share theirs?
I am in general more open to new things than he is and he is more careful and detail orientated than me which is great as we complement each other.
Actually very similar to you - I'm always amazed by how quickly my DH forgets details of past memories that are totally clear to me. I actually think it's a real shame for him to lose them.
He is a lot more easygoing than me. He doesn't get stressed easily at all and has an easygoing confidence in himself and his relationships. Whereas I have a lot of anxiety and am constantly second guessing and doubting myself!
He's also kinder and sunnier natured - he sees the best in everyone and will always give the benefit of the doubt. Whereas I'm much more
of a judgmental prick inclined to be irritated or feel let down by people.
I think he's generally a nicer person than me - I often feel like I don't deserve someone so lovely!
My DP is shit with directions and where places are. I can go somewhere once and I could find my way back to it several years later.
My DP can't remember (or refuses to remember) simple information like our phone number or our postcode. I find it very easy to remember stuff like this. It actually really winds me up because I see this as a very low version of wife work.
My DP hates calling people on the phone. I used to work in customer services so have no problem with this. When we get takeaways, I call them and he answers the door because I hate answering the door.
My DP is a very careful and sensible planner. I am much more gung-ho. I think a compromise in between would be great- he sucks all the fun out of things and I fuck things up.
My DP only wears grey, blue or black clothes because he doesn't care about fashion or how he looks. My wardrobe is like a neon disco.
My DP has had the same hairstyle for 10 years. I change my hairstyle quite drastically about three times a year.
He's less adept at planning logical ways to do things and use time. So say we have to pick up three things from different shops in a week for a diy project at the weekend.
I would pick each up as I was going past each individual shop for other purposes on various days during the course of the week, and thus by the end of the week would be ready to go, as I'd have it In the back of my mind that we need these items and want to maximise time at the weekend. He would make a special trip on Saturday morning for all three things in one go. Which would take half the day.
Illogical to me, and a poor use of time.
Me - let's smash this with a hammer and see what happens
Him - let's read the instructions 30 times, consider the range of possible outcomes, then weigh up each... oh, you've hit it with a hammer I see, ok.
Bugger! Omydays beat me to it
DH is shit at directions and map reading but brilliant at remembering left and right.
He's really good at remembering anniversaries and birthdays but shit at remembering to do something or pick something up in the shop. He also forgets dates the kids are doing things and what they need for it.
He never reads instructions and is shit at making things and at decorating.
He's brilliant at washing, ironing and cooking. He's brilliant at anagrams and word games, but reads soooooooooooooo slowly.
He's one of the nicest guys I've ever met and would do anything for anyone, unfortunately at the expense of the family sometimes.
We're really complete opposites and I love him for it.
My dh is the one with the memory (annoyingly!) - long term memory anyway. Short term memory/remembering when the kids have commitments etc is all me. He can't do that!
He is tidy I am messy
I am good with money he is not
He likes being spontaneous and taking risks, I do not. Here we gel very well actually as he comes up with stuff we could do and over the years he has learnt that he needs to allow me time to process and plan (and work out the financial implications) and then I come around to the idea. Or not as the case may be. But I've certainly done more things, been to more places, experienced stuff that had I been without him I just would not have done. I'd like to think that whilst he would have done these things if he didn't have me, chances are he'd be bankrupt!
I am more frivolous with money for enjoyment; I like holidays and trips. He doesn’t really see the point of holidays but will happily spend 4K on a watch.
He is a faffer- he takes forever getting ready and I am very punctual. It drives me mad.
He also doesn’t suffer fools or have much sympathy for people he doesn’t know whereas I am a bit gullible in believing any sad story.
Well, I have OCD and my OH has got Dylexia, but, I am exceptionally organised, and tidy. Everything labelled, lists for everything. My OH is the opposite, he’d lose his head if it wasn’t attached to his neck.
I’m very laid back (OCD aside) in that I can roll with the punches. My OH gets really frustrated at any sort of changes and is fairly inflexible. He becomes anxious, very quickly. (His mum was autism and so it may be some traits based on his upbringing etc).
My OH is kind, naturally kind. He would notice a someone needing help, and wouldn’t think for a second not to bend over backwards. I am a bit oblivious, I will help of course but I won’t necessarily notice someone needs help unless prompted.
I am very academic, I excel at maths and therefore I am highly logical. My OH is creative, he’s an architect and has such a unique ability to make beautiful things.
Very similar to you. I remember pointless and/or very minor details. My DP forgets what has been said/has happened before the end of thr conversation/activity. It stressed me out in the past but i guess im over it. I also cry a lot..happy..sad..angry.. im a crier and hes not. If i angry cry at him he gets annoyed cause he doesnt understand why ive cried.
I misplace belongings whether ever I go, get through loads of payment cards and car keys. He knows where everything is (which makes stealing his keys and cards much easier). He has a brilliant sense of direction and I get lost going round the corner. He is hardworking, meticulous and prone to doing a good job without shouting about it. I am not his equal but will rarely go unvalued. He is tells amazing stories, does the best bedtimes ever and I make decent teas and good cakes. He is very home centred whilst I do like nights out and generally drink more get much drunker. I am more confrontational, noiser and just more irritating generally. We both have the same values, ethics and matching emotional intelligence.
I'm very nostalgic and love to have "remember when" conversations. I love to talk about things from the past, like when the kids were little and stuff like that, but he won't. It drives me mad.
He's a far better listener than me, sometimes things will go right over my head and i don't always take everything in, he's the opposite, he only has to hear stuff one time, and he takes it all in.
I'm sorry for your loss marcopront but what a way to bring what is a lighthearted thread to a halt.
if you feel the need to stomp on others joy have you considered bereavement coucelling?
Sorry it was meant to be light hearted. I don't have a partner.
I think marcopront was being funny, as in she doesn't have a partner.
marcopront X post ... Glad I was right
My dh agonizes over every decision and reads everything 200 times really slowly. I on the other hand have the reading speed of number 5 from short circuit (the 80’s movie for any youngsters)
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