Long post, sorry!
So, DH’s nan died a couple of weeks ago. She was a lovely lady, I liked her but we only saw her a couple of times a year. DH is obviously sad but not devastated - she was in her late 80s and had been in hospital for weeks, so it wasn’t a shock.
But the funeral is next Wednesday - half term week. We have a 5.5yo, 22mo and 6w old. I was planning on spending the week with my mum so she can be an extra pair of hands with the kids. The funeral is an hour’s drive from us and children won’t be allowed at the wake, so we’ll just be there for the service. When we were told the original date, we talked about it a lot and ultimately decided 3 kids on a longish journey, then trying to keep them all quiet in church, then having to drive them all back again, wasn’t worth it. Checked with DH’s dad and he said it was fine, don’t worry. Let my mum know we’d be coming up, double checked DH was ok with going on his own. All sorted.
DH has just rung and it turns out everyone’s expecting us to all be there. Uncles looking forward to seeing the kids, etc etc.
I’m exhausted and was so, so looking forward to a whole week with someone else around to help - DH works long hours 6 days a week so I do the vast majority of everything, on my own, all the time. This cuts the week in half, plus my mum is 3 hour’s drive away - I was already dreading the journey and now I’ll have so much less time before I have to do it again. And the funeral itself will be a nightmare - toddler is super busy and into everything, baby is a screamer and breastfed. DH’s family are Irish so the place will be full of old-school old men who I really don’t fancy whipping a boob out in front of (not to mention trying to find something I can wear to a funeral and bf in!). DH is doing a reading so I’ll be wrangling the kids on my own for at least some of the time.
I feel like crying tbh. Would I be a massive dick and a crap wife to tell DH (nicely!) that I don’t want to go, or do I just have to suck it up, give up my half term plans and get on with it?
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AIBU?
To not want to go to this funeral?
52 replies
FourForYouGlenCoco · 23/05/2018 11:53
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