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To ask how you transitioned DC into own room?

(24 Posts)
MissBax Wed 23-May-18 05:57:16

DD 8.5 months has bed shared and coslept with us since day 1 - she still wakes 4/5 times a night and really struggles to get herself back to sleep without my boob.

I sometimes wonder whether the frequent waking is because she can sense I'm nearby though, and would she be better in her own room?

Has anyone found it helped frequent night wakers? I don't particularly want to be getting up 4/5 times a night and going into another room though.

Is there a certain way to transition into own room?? Or just straight over?

Any advice or experience shared would really help smile

Pengggwn Wed 23-May-18 06:02:21

We started by settling DD in her own room for naps (reasonably easy), then putting her in there at bedtime but still allowing her in with us when she woke up in the night, then finally leaving her in there when she woke up. A bit of crying but it was much easier than I expected, and she definitely sleeps better on her own.

Yura Wed 23-May-18 06:31:08

Oldest moved out at 3 years because he wanted to, youngest at 18 months is still in our room (own bed). oldest got horrible nightvterrors/nightmares when we tried to move him out at 18 months, so we'll wait until they are ready!

Smilingthru Wed 23-May-18 07:31:53

We started with naps which wasn’t an issue at all. Then moved to bed time, sitting on the floor next to cot etc. We put a big comfy arm chair in her room for us as she was still having 2-3 feeds a night.

Wasn’t really an issue. Like PP have said a bit of crying here and there but not much at all.

TheyCanGoInTheBucket Wed 23-May-18 08:01:52

We had this at 8 months. The sleep deprivation was horrific and I cried a lot.

We moved DC cot into their own room and the difference was incredible. They still woke, don't get me wrong, but far less and they learned to self soothe to sleep.

I think with hindsight we were waking them with all our tossing and turning in our sleep.

I don't think there's a specific way to do it, we just moved them.

I'd do it much earlier next time!!!

squadronleader87 Wed 23-May-18 08:07:33

I did this yesterday, with my almost 6mo baby. I put her down for a nap there in the morning then To bed in the evening.

One wake up, I went to see her then left her babbling away. She drifted back off to sleep in a few minutes.

I was expecting much more of a struggle if I’m honest. I think we all slept better, I was certainly less conscious of waking her up by snoring or turning over.

Nomad86 Wed 23-May-18 08:17:25

I think often we worry about these things more than we need to.

With both of mine, one night they were in our room, the next they were in a cot in their own room. Just try it and see what happens. You're not getting much sleep anyway so you've got nothing to lose.

YoucancallmeVal Wed 23-May-18 08:19:05

Mine went into her own room at 6 weeks. Was perfectly fine.

Pickleypickles Wed 23-May-18 08:23:31

I moved DD at about 4 months (she outgrew the moses basket and a cot wouldnt fit), i just put her to sleep in her cot one night and there she stayed. I agree eith nomad i think people overthink things like this.

Babdoc Wed 23-May-18 08:25:40

We kept DD1 in a cot by our bed until she was 15 months, and DD2 was due to be born the next month.
We had to move her to a bed to free up the cot, so we set up a mattress on the floor of her own room, and put her favourite toys on it. We showed her it in the afternoon, and explained that it was a “big girl’s bed” for her. She was thrilled and refused to leave it to come down for tea! She had a month there before DD2 came, so she hopefully didn’t feel she’d been pushed out specifically for the new baby. She’d always been a good sleeper, and we had no problems.

TheCatFromOuterSpace Wed 23-May-18 08:25:51

Ds was two when we moved him to his own room. He slept in our bed, so the first step was to move him to his own mattress on our bedroom floor. After a week or so, we moved the mattress into his bedroom, and then after another week or so put the mattress onto a toddler bed base.

The reason we moved him was so that we could go into our bedroom in the evenings and turn the lights on rather than tiptoeing around. He was increasingly waking up as soon as we got into bed, so we were definitely disturbing him.

We were still happy for him to come into our bed once we were in bed. His night waking didn't really improve until we night weaned him. Now at 2.5 he usually sleeps through, but still comes in with us for a cuddle if he wakes up (around once per week).

Camomila Wed 23-May-18 08:30:30

How big is her room? If you want her to stay in her room but she ends up still waking loads i'd put a low single bed in there as well so you can have it for night feeds and she can have it when she's older.

(I'm my back is very excited about moving my 2yr old from a toddler bed to a single bed soon)

BeyondThePage Wed 23-May-18 08:31:42

Our layout upstairs meant DD was in her own room from about a week old - but she was 2 feet closer to me than when she was in our room (no room beside bed and DH had to climb across me to get into bed with the Moses basket at the bottom so we worked out a better system). All doors wide open, so as if in the room anyhow.

Worked fine for us.

MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup Wed 23-May-18 08:54:56

As soon as he was 6 months, he moved into his own room and honestly, he transitioned absolutely fine! The very first night he was in his room, he slept the whole night! He between the day he was born up until that night he moved into his own room, he's never slept through. So it worked miracles for me!

Fintress Wed 23-May-18 09:10:52

(I'm my back is very excited about moving my 2yr old from a toddler bed to a single bed soon)

Good luck! Took a couple of weeks at the same age for my daughter to stop wandering through and asking for her cot back but we got there in the end.

Own room at 12 weeks as she was outgrowing her crib. I started by putting her in the cot for daytime naps. She was always a great sleeper from day 1 though so we had no issues.

possumgoddess Wed 23-May-18 09:41:27

When I had my first DD we basically lived in a bedsit so she had to be in with us and she didn't sleep well (no co-sleeping though). As soon as we got our own flat and she had her own room, when she was nearly two, she slept right through. Bliss!

Tryagaintomorrow Wed 23-May-18 10:11:13

About 6.5 months.
Put her straight in new cot in own room, slept through and has for the following months smile
Prior to that she co slept and woke up ALL the time.

BertieBotts Wed 23-May-18 10:17:47

Just did it. Seemed to work fine!

n0ne Wed 23-May-18 12:14:46

Co-slept with DD until 8 months and she would wake several times a night. Put her in her own room, she slept through. Unbelievable, would have done it ages ago if I'd known!

mindutopia Wed 23-May-18 13:00:29

We just waited til she was ready and asked. Our first slept with us (bedshared til 2 then floor bed in our room) til she was 3.5. She wasn’t happy to sleep on her own (woke more) and we lost sleep wandering up and down the hall. Then one day she asked if she could start sleeping all night in her own room and she did. It was really easy and stress free. So you won’t necessarily create any bad habits by waiting if sleeping together is working for you.

But it really is down to the child as they’re all so different and you’ll have a sense of what works best for them. Our 2nd is 3 months now and also sleeps with me. He’s ebf (dd was ff) and he sleeps through most nights and seems to get woken up by us more than soothed by us being close. He really doesn’t need any settling during the night and I feed him once at most if he wakes. I probably will move him to his own room around 4-5 months because at the moment my dh sleeps separately because his rattling around in the night and getting up in the morning with our dd wakes him up! We’ve patented them both the same but they’re just different and different things seem to work for them. So follow your gut and see what works for you.

Confusedbeetle Wed 23-May-18 13:06:18

You have in fact created a dependence by breastfeeding your baby to sleep everytime she stirs. This is going to take some gentle and gradual withdrawing. Aim first to try and encourage her to go down for nap in the daytime. putting her down before she is asleep. Once you have cracked daytime naps move on to bed time. The night wakings become the last step. Once she can soothe herself back off without breast feeding she will happily stay in her cot all night without needing you. Of course this is all choice, you can if you wish continue just as you are

MissBax Wed 23-May-18 14:30:03

Thanks all for the responses - I planned to keep her in with us until she made the decision herself to be in her own room, but the lack of sleep and constant waking is really starting to affect me mentally. Plus I go back to work in 5 weeks and wouldn't manage very well on the amount of sleep I'm getting at the moment.

Confusedbeetle
I know, I wish I'd realised earlier on what I'd cause by always breastfeeding to sleep!
The thing is - she does settle herself to sleep for her daytime naps, but once the night rolls round it's a different story all together! Which is why I'm wondering whether it's because I'm in the room with her. If she was in her own room maybe that wouldn't happen?

DN4GeekinDerby Wed 23-May-18 15:23:24

One of mine was like that - frequent waking and kicking. At 7 months we moved a small side cot to her father's side of the bed. The distance helped a bit though she still woke up more frequently than the others did at that age (she was quite poorly though so that's not surprising).

For transitioning to their own room, which we did this between 12-18 months, we ended up putting on a mattress or one of those soft chairs that can become a sleeping mat on the floor by their beds that either my spouse or I could sit and read or crash on while waiting for them to go back to sleep. Each kid took very different amounts of time to get used to it and sleep through - my oldest took by far the longest which is why we started using the mattress to crash in the first place, but the younger ones had the benefit of a sibling in there which he didn't - but this system worked well for us.

Pigeonpair1 Thu 24-May-18 09:38:03

Both mine were next to me in the moses basket until about six weeks when they outgrew the basket. Then they went up to their bedrooms on the floor above - I was very anxious of course but the monitor was on my bedside table so could hear every little grunt (!!). Had to go up for a feed in the night for a few weeks but then they started sleeping through. I overthought like crazy but it was all fine :0) My own experience was that we all slept better in our own rooms but of course it's personal choice.

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