Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

AIBU?

Is it always a bad idea to speak to your exes new partner

16 replies

fucksakefrig · 22/05/2018 16:29

IABU

I'm just venting

I so so so wish I could blow their stupid happy new life apart after what he put me and dc through (abuse)

I wish I could just fucking open her eyes and laugh as she walks away and sees him for who he really is

I can't. I won't. But I fucking well want to.

How's anyone else managed to let go of the anger? I don't want him back (I'd probably lose my dc if I took him back tbh or my life) but I probably do as much as I hate him on some level still love him

Done freedom. Done counselling. It's eating me up inside being this bitter and angry that he sails off to a new life with someone oblivious to what he did to us

OP posts:

Report

YouAreNotImportant · 22/05/2018 16:30

She won't believe you. Would you have?

YetAnotherUser · 22/05/2018 16:32

Just let them fuck it up themselves.

LeighaJ · 22/05/2018 16:33

If he was physically abusive and has a criminal record then warning her might be a good idea before he starts hurting her too.

fucksakefrig · 22/05/2018 16:33

He never had a relationship as long as me... they all went tits up very fast. Should have been a flag but at the time just thought he hadn't met the right person

OP posts:

fucksakefrig · 22/05/2018 16:35

He will hurt her. She might have to get pregnant before that begins though

OP posts:

fucksakefrig · 22/05/2018 16:37

I can't warn her. I want to but the repercussions on me would be extreme I imagine. She'd walk and I would have bought on myself something that's not worth it. Dc need me

OP posts:

iBiscuit · 22/05/2018 16:39

Are the police allowed to warn her?

ChevalierTialys · 22/05/2018 16:43

vent all you need OP.

he sails off to a new life with someone oblivious to what he did to us

Their honeymoon period won't last long, then he'll be pulling the same shit on her.

GrannyGrissle · 22/05/2018 16:43

CBt was amazing. Imagine your intrusive thoughts are 'knocking at the door' you choose whether or not to answer and let them in. Choose not to. This has revolutionised my mental health.

fucksakefrig · 22/05/2018 16:44

No police aren't going to warn her. Not enough - I didn't report even 1/10th of it

OP posts:

Whatshallidonowpeople · 22/05/2018 16:47

Why do you care so much?

fucksakefrig · 22/05/2018 16:48

@Whatshallidonowpeople because I have had my life ruined by a bastard but he gets a happy ever after (atm)

OP posts:

Maccapacca88 · 22/05/2018 16:54

Does she have kids OP? If so, it might be worth thinking about. If not, I'd say to look after you and yours.

ohreallyohreallyoh · 22/05/2018 16:55

You need to let it go. He will never have a happy ever after. Not really. No happy ever after included beating the wife to death, did it? She won’t believe you so you can’t help her. She will, sadly, need to learn the hard way.

Your only revenge needs to be living the best life you can. You can’t do that whilst you hold onto the past. Visualise dropping it, stomping on it, letting it go. When the negative thoughts enter your mind, push them away - do it with your hand if needs be. You have to work at it and at the same time work on you, invest in you and your future. He’s past. Move on.

fucksakefrig · 22/05/2018 16:57

I agree I need to let it go. It's just the getting from knowing I should to having let go

OP posts:

ajandjjmum · 22/05/2018 16:59

Don't let him ruin your life. You have the power to stop it - find the support you need to do so.

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.