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Is it always a bad idea to speak to your exes new partner

(17 Posts)
fucksakefrig Tue 22-May-18 16:29:14


I'm just venting

I so so so wish I could blow their stupid happy new life apart after what he put me and dc through (abuse)

I wish I could just fucking open her eyes and laugh as she walks away and sees him for who he really is

I can't. I won't. But I fucking well want to.

How's anyone else managed to let go of the anger? I don't want him back (I'd probably lose my dc if I took him back tbh or my life) but I probably do as much as I hate him on some level still love him

Done freedom. Done counselling. It's eating me up inside being this bitter and angry that he sails off to a new life with someone oblivious to what he did to us

YouAreNotImportant Tue 22-May-18 16:30:44

She won't believe you. Would you have?

YetAnotherUser Tue 22-May-18 16:32:18

Just let them fuck it up themselves.

LeighaJ Tue 22-May-18 16:33:04

If he was physically abusive and has a criminal record then warning her might be a good idea before he starts hurting her too.

fucksakefrig Tue 22-May-18 16:33:54

He never had a relationship as long as me... they all went tits up very fast. Should have been a flag but at the time just thought he hadn't met the right person

fucksakefrig Tue 22-May-18 16:35:37

He will hurt her. She might have to get pregnant before that begins though

fucksakefrig Tue 22-May-18 16:37:15

I can't warn her. I want to but the repercussions on me would be extreme I imagine. She'd walk and I would have bought on myself something that's not worth it. Dc need me

iBiscuit Tue 22-May-18 16:39:16

Are the police allowed to warn her?

ChevalierTialys Tue 22-May-18 16:43:12

flowers vent all you need OP.

he sails off to a new life with someone oblivious to what he did to us

Their honeymoon period won't last long, then he'll be pulling the same shit on her.

GrannyGrissle Tue 22-May-18 16:43:30

CBt was amazing. Imagine your intrusive thoughts are 'knocking at the door' you choose whether or not to answer and let them in. Choose not to. This has revolutionised my mental health. flowers

fucksakefrig Tue 22-May-18 16:44:03

No police aren't going to warn her. Not enough - I didn't report even 1/10th of it

Whatshallidonowpeople Tue 22-May-18 16:47:14

Why do you care so much?

fucksakefrig Tue 22-May-18 16:48:05

@Whatshallidonowpeople because I have had my life ruined by a bastard but he gets a happy ever after (atm)

Maccapacca88 Tue 22-May-18 16:54:54

Does she have kids OP? If so, it might be worth thinking about. If not, I'd say to look after you and yours.

ohreallyohreallyoh Tue 22-May-18 16:55:53

You need to let it go. He will never have a happy ever after. Not really. No happy ever after included beating the wife to death, did it? She won’t believe you so you can’t help her. She will, sadly, need to learn the hard way.

Your only revenge needs to be living the best life you can. You can’t do that whilst you hold onto the past. Visualise dropping it, stomping on it, letting it go. When the negative thoughts enter your mind, push them away - do it with your hand if needs be. You have to work at it and at the same time work on you, invest in you and your future. He’s past. Move on.

fucksakefrig Tue 22-May-18 16:57:27

I agree I need to let it go. It's just the getting from knowing I should to having let go

ajandjjmum Tue 22-May-18 16:59:50

Don't let him ruin your life. You have the power to stop it - find the support you need to do so.


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