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AIBU?

to dislike my neighbours (kind of know I am being but still)?

139 replies

paprika88 · 22/05/2018 16:25

My neighbours aren't totally awful and we haven't argued but if I'm honest I don't like them much because of how they treat the enviroment.

The neighbours opposite us at the back, I kind of know I am being unreasonable but earlier this year they cut down all the beautiful tress and hedges which seperated our gardens (it was on their property). They also did away with their lawn and had hideous astroturf put down eradicating all sign of life because "it would be less hassle". They also put up a large shed to keep all the consumerist tat overspill from their house and installed a noisey (energy greedy) hot tube so they could "enjoy the outdoors" which creates more noise and keeps our little one awake.

We used to get a lot of bats in our garden in the spring through to early autumn but they haven't been this year. My tree chopping neighbours asked if I'd seen any bats and when I said no they remarked that it was strange they had disappeared and when I pointed out that the trees they cut down were a sources of food (bugs) and roosting for the bats and that they had no reason to return now they seemed surprised but shrugged it off.

All around me people are slabbing, decking and astroturfing their gardens with no thought to the negative longterm side effects such as flooding, more air pollution and less wildlife, it makes me quite angry.

The council round here provides a full range of recyclinging pick ups including food waste, plastics, metals etc. but on our street only one or two (including me) actually do it because having to sort waste is too inconvenient and spoils the look of the kitchen.

I know people will think I am being unreasonable but it just upsets me so much how inconsiderate people are of their enviroment and the other creatures. I do my best with my own patch of garden to encourage bees, incests, butterflys and birds but its like I am pissing against the wind.

Their unthinkingness just makes me dislike them on some level.

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Chattymummyhere · 22/05/2018 16:30

My garden has not flooded since we put our Astro turf down. It always used too before. We also have decking and a hot tub. I’m not your neighbour promise Grin but I also have land I work so I equal out my own garden destorying. I couldn’t get worked up about people slabbing/decking their gardens though.

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Cheto · 22/05/2018 16:32

Please don't encourage 'incests' Confused

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MorningsEleven · 22/05/2018 16:35

I'd love a hot tub. Not for incest though.

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paprika88 · 22/05/2018 16:35

The issue is that the astroturfing means that the water will most likely run off your garden onto someone elses causing their garden to be over saturated rather than water being absorbed over a larger area. Our Garden now floods at points it never used to prior to them removing the trees and putting in an ugly plastic garden.

Its just the lack of regard for the enviroment that such behaviour displays that makes me think these people are a bit unthinking, shallow and selfish.

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Cheto · 22/05/2018 16:36

@MorningsEleven GrinGrinGrin

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paprika88 · 22/05/2018 16:36

I obviously mean insects! Although My neighbours may engage in it cretins that they are.

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WhatATimeToBeAlive · 22/05/2018 16:37

YANBU. Everyone seems to want a manicured, low maintenance garden and it is at the cost of our wildlife and environment. A part of me dies every time I see a beautiful tree chopped down that is home to wildlife. I encourage birds into the garden and get so much pleasure from them and try to keep the garden a bit wild.

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ikeepaforkinmypurse · 22/05/2018 16:37

Astroturf is horrendous, decking attract rats, and I am with you on hot tubs and patio heaters!

I understand your point about their trees and hedges, what a shame, but why should they have a smaller garden because all the greenery is on their side? You could plant your own - trees take awhile, but you could start replacing what they've removed.

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paprika88 · 22/05/2018 16:37

Hot tubs are awful and bad for the enviroment. Besides I don't want to see my almost nude neighbours from my garden thank you very much!

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SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 22/05/2018 16:40

We used to get a lot of bats in our garden in the spring through to early autumn but they haven't been this year. My tree chopping neighbours asked if I'd seen any bats and when I said no they remarked that it was strange they had disappeared and when I pointed out that the trees they cut down were a sources of food (bugs) and roosting for the bats and that they had no reason to return now they seemed surprised but shrugged it off.

Wouldn't it a shame if your NDN got into trouble for getting rid of the bats?

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Luisa27 · 22/05/2018 16:40

Agree with you absolutely paprika - I find it terribly upsetting. Our garden is full of flowers to attract pollinators - the affects humans have on every other species is truly hideous

Have to say I’ll give the incest a miss too 😂

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MinorRSole · 22/05/2018 16:41

I'm actually with you here op. So many gardens are just bland grey spaces now filled with chuckies or slabs and it's so drab. Nothing more beautiful than seeing a hundred shades of green and all the wildlife that attracts.
I hate gardening in that I don't enjoy the activity itself but I do it because the end result is worth it.

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paprika88 · 22/05/2018 16:44

WhatATimeToBeAlive, thank you I totally agree I am doing my best to keep our garden wild to encourage the bats back!

Ikeepaforkinmypurse, Their Garden is huge, much bigger than ours, however I will be planting some native shrubs, trees etc to encourage the wildlife back. Them cutting down the trees and bushes was to make space for tat storage away from their house and dreadful hot tub and to let more sun in, which thy could have done by just managing the trees but its just too much hassle for people who need to use their spare time to go on facebook and watch googlebox not look after a garden.

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JassyRadlett · 22/05/2018 16:46

My garden has not flooded since we put our Astro turf down. It always used too before.

Christ, that’s a horrible, anti-social attitude.

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scortja · 22/05/2018 16:46

YANBU - this kind of think makes me sad too x

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Personwithhorse · 22/05/2018 16:47

Yes, agree, if you look at ads for houses so many have nothing but ugly fencing and grass. Where we live many people are older and don’t do too much to their gardens so there is quite a lot of wildlife.

I am trying to transform mine into a wildlife have, I had frog poles, frogs, toads, slow worms and I thought I saw a newt in my pond. I also cut a hole in the fence for hedgehogs. Loads of planting of shrubs and trees for bees and insects. It is a pity so few people are interested in nature

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divadee · 22/05/2018 16:48

We are looking at having the trees removed and artificial grass put in at my mum's house. The reason is she just can't keep up with the upkeep of the garden anymore and we both work full time and have a baby. She will have some plants in pots though.

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Ginorchoc · 22/05/2018 16:50

Ironically they is an article today in my local paper saying the noise from hot tubs can be considered a noise issue and can be reported.

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paprika88 · 22/05/2018 16:51

Well I suppose incest could be considered a form of wildlife but not the sort I'd like to encourage!

Steamtrains, yes I did think that myself but I think the trees have to have a protection order on them prior to the cutting down and its too late anyway, they can't be put back sadly.

I am going to contact the council to try and get the other trees in the area looked at to protect the bats if possible. I was set off again this morning by seeing yet another healthy tree in another street cut down so I'm sorry if some of my posts seem judgemental and pissed I'm just so angry right now.

MinorRSole, I went with a friend to look at houses last year and it was so grim, so many areas are just like a concrete jungle what with slabs or decking etc in the garden and a monoblocked front garden to park an extra car on grim. Should be laws against it.

I picked this area because it was so green but its headed the same way.

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paprika88 · 22/05/2018 16:53

Divadee, I understand peoples reasons for doing it such as the one you give, I just don't think they are good enough and yes I do know what it is like to have to upkeep a relatives garden for them because they can't.

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paprika88 · 22/05/2018 16:55

Ginorchoc, yes the noise is bad and the energy they use is shocking! My husband keeps saying that they won't use it much once the novelty wears off and they get their first bill so we shall see.

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Nquartz · 22/05/2018 16:55

We have a garden at the side that we never use because it is out of sight and doesn't really get the sun so we have planted loads of random plants/shrubs/bushes and let it run a bit wild to try to encourage wildlife.

I think DH would prefer astroturf as it is less hassle for mowing but he doesn't to spend that much on the garden so the law stays Grin

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paprika88 · 22/05/2018 16:57

Nquartz Yay! At least some people get it!

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ikeepaforkinmypurse · 22/05/2018 16:58

I do understand your point, we had the same problem here. Why do people buy a house in a certain area and want to change everything?

We had new people moving in the area, and their first job was to get rid of ALL their trees. The reason why people buy here is usually because they like the look and feel of the neighbourhood, if we wanted a concrete jungle we would buy one.

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HotSauceCommittee · 22/05/2018 17:00

I’m with you OP. Hot tubs=nasty sex pond. We had decking in the garden left by the previous owners and it was shit! I used to go arse over tit walking on it in frosty weather.
I have a lovely lawn (full of weeds), have took up the slabs from the front garden and laid a lawn and border. We also have bats flying over as I’m next door but two to the nature reserve. Come and live next to me; we’d get along fine.

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