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To assume I've been ghosted?

(611 Posts)
ghosting Tue 22-May-18 13:57:19

Met a guy on OLD about a month ago, seemed lovely, all was going well and we were texting a lot and met a couple of times for coffee.

We spent the night together last night, and today...nothing.

He hasn't replied to a message I sent about 4 hours ago, although he has read it.

Is there any rational explanation, or have I been ghosted?

MarthaArthur Tue 22-May-18 13:58:11

Are you joking? 4 hours?!

MarthaArthur Tue 22-May-18 13:59:00

Sent too soon. He saw you last night. You havent been in contact for 4 hours. He is busy. You need to grow thicker skin if you are OLD.

Caribou58 Tue 22-May-18 13:59:35

4 hours is nothing. Not everyone (especially men) is punctilious about replying as soon as they see a message.

What did your message say, however?

User09876543321126 Tue 22-May-18 14:00:15

Maybe he’s just busy with work. Don’t fret. I’d say yes if you hear nothing for a day or two. Still, seems a lot of effort just for sex.

A4710Rider Tue 22-May-18 14:02:10

How did he behave the morning after the night before? Normal?

Travis1 Tue 22-May-18 14:03:14

4 hours? Pah ha ha I ignore my husband for longer than that and I've been with him 17 years

ghosting Tue 22-May-18 14:03:28

4 hours is nothing. Not everyone (especially men) is punctilious about replying as soon as they see a message

Except every single message I have ever sent before he has responded to within about 10 minutes!

What did your message say, however?

Something along the lines of Hi, how are you, thanks for last night.

YetAnotherUser Tue 22-May-18 14:03:41

4 hrs?

I'd give it a bit longer myself, but i suppose it depends on what his usual textback time is!

How did he seem when he left?

ghosting Tue 22-May-18 14:04:04

How did he behave the morning after the night before? Normal?

Yes, completely normal!

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Tue 22-May-18 14:05:59

Seems like a lot of work for one sexy meet up just to dump you. What did you text to him? Was it a question that required an answer or just an observation he may not have felt the need to comment on? Maybe he just has friends over or something.

witchofzog Tue 22-May-18 14:08:53

After 17 years you don't have to worry about whether you are being ghosted or not.

Op as another poster said, it does depend on how long her normally takes to text back. Not texting back as soon after spending the night together is a bit shit. Don't give up on him just yet though. It maybe he feels more comfortable with you now to not feel like he needs to reply asap

ghosting Tue 22-May-18 14:09:05

Seems like a lot of work for one sexy meet up just to dump you

Maybe I'm just a terrible shag!?

NoNamesLeft86 Tue 22-May-18 14:12:27

Just leave it for now. Don't seem to keen. Would he be at work?

sadandtired1 Tue 22-May-18 14:15:56

You spent the night with him, saw him this morning and at 10am asked him how he was? Why do people text so much!!! Madness

Popc0rn Tue 22-May-18 14:18:24

In the nicest possible way OP, take a chill pill grin.

You literally saw his this morning right? As in only like 6 hours ago? Don't be tying yourself up in knots cos it's been 4 hours and he hasn't replied to your text yet, he's probably just busy with work or something.

Put your phone down and go and enjoy the sunshine smile

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Tue 22-May-18 14:18:28

Maybe I'm just a terrible shag!?

If that’s how this man navigates relationships you don’t need him.

Do tell us when he texts. wink

ghosting Tue 22-May-18 14:21:17

In the nicest possible way OP, take a chill pill

That made me laugh. But you are right, and I knew posting here would soon whip me into shape!

GunpowderAndLead Tue 22-May-18 14:21:35

It's out of character though, isn't it? He's been quickly responding then as soon as he gets a shag he's not replied.

Just leave it for now.

ghosting Tue 22-May-18 14:24:03

It's out of character though, isn't it? He's been quickly responding then as soon as he gets a shag he's not replied

Yes, it is really out of character.

Anyway, there's nothing I can do about it. If he doesn't want to be in contact I guess that's up to him.

Adultsahouldeatrusks Tue 22-May-18 14:24:50

Maybe you were crap and he doesn't know how to tell you?

Trinity66 Tue 22-May-18 14:25:13

I guess it's unusual because of the timing of his sudden non responsiveness. Well, you're well rid if that's all he was after

A4710Rider Tue 22-May-18 14:27:17

Maybe you were crap and he doesn't know how to tell you

That's so harsh.

I bet it's eff all to do with her and him just getting his oats and now moving onto the next victim.......

Such are the perils of OLD

Alicatz66 Tue 22-May-18 14:28:13

Don't thank men for last night OP !!! They should be thanking you smile

Trinity66 Tue 22-May-18 14:30:31

That's so harsh.

It is, also "he doesn't know how to tell you" like telling someone they're crap in bed is something they need to be told? hmm

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