Mumsnet <br><br>Talk Step-parenting <br>Step kids struggle1<br>Today 10:51 Sophietheogeorge2017<br><br>mith<br>Please can I have a private post. <br><br>Please help me! My partner has two kids who to begin with I got on really well. They use to stay every other weekend and it was ok. However over time the more they settled in the more they have become spoilt, ungrateful brats. The 10 year old cries when she doesn’t get her own way to the point of crying and screaming because we wouldn’t let her upgrade her drink at macdonalds and go for the most expensive burger but with 5 of us eating we can’t afford them all too. I am being told I am selfish as they now don’t stay (the ex wife decision as she wants to punish the kids for bad behaviour plus she extra money in the CSA as when she applied for it she lost out on what we use to pay beforehand) however this is putting such a strain on our relationship. <br><br>I have a 3 year old and we also have a 9minth old together. His kids live 2 hours away and he doesn’t drive so it costs him £50 just on trains every other weekend before food and stuff. They aren’t happy to go to the park and get food so it can cost him anything upto £150 a weekend seeing them. Last time he had to take them cinema, soft play, food and buses to get everywhere. We can’t afford it not with our two boys, they lose out on days out now as we don’t do them so he can visit the children. I have stopped my yoga classes tonsave money. <br><br>Now the ex wife is kicking off because we haven’t taken the girls to Butlins this time with us or when we go abroad next year. Firstly my family are paying so that we can have a holiday abroad next year. Both boys have free tickets on the holiday so we just pay for me and my partner. She gave me £1000 so I choose to divide it so I could take my partner so I get help with the kids.secondly the youngest has hydrocephalus so we wouldn’t want the risk of going abroad and her having to spend the whole time in hospital it would ruin it for her sister and the boys and also the little girl if she has to spend the whole time in hospital so it makes sense to holiday with them in this country. I can’t expect my parents to give us extra money for his girls either. Plus they both need passports, and clothes and the mum is likely to say they can’t go few days before she has done it before. The girls don’t want a holiday in this country so that is out the option as I was looking and saving and scrimping even more to put a few pound back each week to go away end of next year in this country. <br><br>We work bloody hard and why should the boys miss out and not have a holiday as we can’t affods to take all the kids with us. The mum has just as much responsibility if not more to take them away. th eldest daughter wants to go to this camp but would need a adult as she is the only girl. The mum doesn’t work and wants to go out the weekend so she won’t, and she is now kicking oif as my partner said he can’t, as he can’t afford to take 3 days of work unpaid as he has used his holiday for Butlins last week. And he would otherwise miss our sons first father’s day. <br><br>The wife has kicked off because he had a joint tatttoo with me as a Valentine’s Day present from me to him, yet not had the youngest daughters name done or the boys names or because he won’t send her extra money except the csa each month. I never expect my eldest dad to pay more than his csa each month as he has to live too. Last month we had to send £40 for school dinners for one child that lasted two weeks as she refuses to eat packed lunch. IMO I would tell the girl it’s either packed lunch or nothing.<br><br>If my partners kids were grateful and well behaved I would consider trying to work even more hours than I do and losing even more time with my sons and encourage them to come and stay more but atm I just can’t shift my resentment of everything. Father’s Day last year I spent £100 on tickets for a day out for us to<br>leave in half hour because of their behaviour. Tickets cost £100 so I took some water with us. The eldest screamed and cried as we wouldn’t buy drinks<br>Out. Then ran off because she was told and started hitting her dad. <br><br>My partner had a few months of work due to illness and I was the one Paying out of my wages their CSA aswell as his travel to see them. I have done my best. Now the ex wife is demanding he has to take the girls away on holiday somewhere. We never tell the girls if we go on holiday so it’s not like they know as we wouldn’t want to rub their face in it or any days out. The ex wife sent me a load of abuse the day we went on holidayblast week. And we had to move house as ours was being sold. The only place we could find was three bedrooms not four. The boys have a room each purely because the baby still wakes a lot, but when they come down we would put the boys intogether and they would have a room. And now that is wrong too. He has just got back from spending the day with them and all it was ‘mummy said you need to buy us this’ ‘mummy said to ask you as you can afford it’ ‘why can’t we have this because you must take the boys out mummy said.’<br>But he is crap at saying no to them and it will bankrupt us. please mummy’s can anyone help. Anyone been in my situation feeling so stressed. X