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AIBU?

Wedding guest clothing

32 replies

HollyWoods8224 · 22/05/2018 01:46

My partner is groomsman at one of our closest friends weddings, we've both been invited but neither of us are close with the bride. They've been together for a few year and most of our friends circle finds her hard work, we love our friend and his happiness is obviously something we support 100% so bells and all, come wedding day we'll be there in the front row! (or wherever our seats are)
I have scars on both of my legs between the knee and ankle so my legs are normally covered up or covered in makeup.

Is it super wrong of me to wear a formal style dress as a wedding guest? I've found some shoes I love and a baby pink dress that matches, but i'm worried that a formal dress might offend the bride?

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Copperbonnet · 22/05/2018 01:48

What do you mean by a formal dress? A long one?

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Merryoldgoat · 22/05/2018 01:51

When I got married I didn’t give a moneys what people wore (so long as it wasn’t a wedding dress).

Your dress sounds lovely.

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ThisIsTheFirstStep · 22/05/2018 01:52

Is your question just about the dress? Because I don’t see what your preamble has to do with it.

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DuchyDuke · 22/05/2018 01:57

Why not just wear a dressy jumpsuit or pant suit?

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TroubledLichen · 22/05/2018 02:13

Tights? Jumpsuit? A maxi dress but one that isn’t super formal?

If the rest of guests are in the standard British wedding attire of a day dress and you rock up in evening wear then you might stand out a bit. The only guests I’ve seen at British weddings in a formal full length gown are the bridesmaids.

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SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 22/05/2018 02:26

Are you asking if it's okay to wear a long dress for a wedding? Yes of course. Maxi dresses are pretty standard wedding attire and can be as formal or casual as you like.

Why would the bride be offended? Confused

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Copperbonnet · 22/05/2018 02:36

I think we are all a bit confused OP.

Can you include a picture of your dress or something similar? It would help us judge.

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HollyWoods8224 · 22/05/2018 02:47

Yes, a long (floor length) dress, i think its a very simple shape and is plain baby pink all over, no beading/sparkle.

ThisIsTheFirstStep - you're right the pre-amble isn't really relevant to the dress, it was just a little insight as to why i don't just ask the bride (if we were close I wouldn't have any hesitation)

A pantsuit/jumpsuit is a great idea, i'll do some more window shopping, turning up and matching the bridesmaids is not ideal even if its accidental.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes - most of our friend group have had a run in or two with the bride, usually over small things, sometimes I think our existence is offensive! I'd really hate her to think i was taking anything away from her day.

Have added a picture of the dress - its going to be a summer wedding (likely 30 degrees celcius) and quite a small but luxurious vibe.

Wedding guest clothing
OP posts:
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Copperbonnet · 22/05/2018 02:48

There is nothing in the least offensive about that dress.

I’d check what colour the bridesmaids are wearing though.

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Monty27 · 22/05/2018 02:53

I was at a wedding recently and a young woman had me aghast she was so elegant in trousers. She looked stunning.
Others were wearing long dresses and looked stunning too. But the trouser outfit stick out. High waisted and very flared. Beautiful. Enjoy yourself and after all it's just about being there to share it with your friend. Smile

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CurlyWurlyTwirly · 22/05/2018 03:05

Are you trying to imply the bride is a Bridezilla?
Are you in the US? (Because I thought long dresses were quite common at weddings).

Dress is lovely, just check that the bridesmaids, for your bad luck, are not in pink or that would be a whole other thread.....

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OneWouldHopeSo · 22/05/2018 03:15

Check the date, OP - I think you may have missed the wedding

That dress is beautiful!

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ThisIsTheFirstStep · 22/05/2018 03:32

I wouldn’t wear that to a wedding, far too wedding dressy.

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Monty27 · 22/05/2018 03:40

OneWouldHopeSo Grin

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CluelessMummy · 22/05/2018 03:46

Sorry, it looks a bit bridesmaidy to me (it's a floor-length pastel dress) and I am not all fussy about dresscodes. If you really can't show your legs (I get it, I have horrendous varicose veins and I'm only in my 30s) and you can't wear flesh-coloured tights (my go-to) then you need to find a jumpsuit or a top and trousers.

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TroubledLichen · 22/05/2018 04:03

If this is for a British wedding then it’s far too bridesmaidy and way too formal. The other women will mostly be wearing day dresses and you’ll really stand out. Especially if the bride is a bit of a bridezilla (reading between the lines I think you’re implying she might be) then I definitely wouldn’t wear it and would look for a jumpsuit or less formal maxi dress. If it’s an American wedding with a black tie dress code then it’s fine.

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NewYearNewMe18 · 22/05/2018 04:41

TBH OP your terminology is 'American' so Im not sure why you are asking a British forum for comment on American style, etiquette and cultural norms.

^^ That probably comes across as a bit snippy and it's not meant to be.

Can you not wear a pair of tights (or what ever you call stockings/hosiery) ?

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fluffiphlox · 22/05/2018 04:44

Looks like a bridesmaid’s dress to me. Or even a nightie.

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FindoGask · 22/05/2018 04:48

Your dress does look a wee bit bridesmaidy to me... I wouldn't wear it personally, but there are loads of long dresses about at the moment (searching for wedding outfits myself).

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L0UISA · 22/05/2018 05:25

There are plenty long summer dresses than are not bridesmaid style because they are made of patterned fabric and not a plain pastel colour. Wear one of these.

Also mid calf length ( plus tights if you need them) is better than floor length.

If you are American then you will look like MOB in that dress.

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CurlyWurlyTwirly · 22/05/2018 05:47

If you are in the UK, floral maxi dress, jumpsuit or mid calf length a la Sophie Wessex would be fine

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FreeMantle · 22/05/2018 06:09

Odd choice.Vey bridal party.

If you are used to covering your legs you must have another dress or trouser suit somewhere in your wardrobe?
Smart or pretty works for most weddings ( as they are day affairs) rather than formal evening dresses.

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Lauren83 · 22/05/2018 07:00

Looks too much like a bride/bridesmaid dress to me, I wouldn't, especially if you aren't close to the bride

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HollyWoods8224 · 22/05/2018 08:14

I'm Australian, I really didn't even think of the difference in customs between here and the UK which was a bit silly! But I have (and still) always found this board helpful regardless of the hemisphere difference.
Thankyou for all of your thoughts, I might0 order the dress and see how 'dressy' it looks on.
If it's too much i love the idea of some flared pants, My head automatically skipped over the pants as an option and went into dress mode.

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GoldenBarbie · 22/05/2018 08:18

Try a long midi dress.. It will provide enough leg coverage

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