Ok so I know I'm going to be flamed for the part I played in this situation but hear me out first and try to understand my reasoning (I'm a young lone mum with bad anxiety) but admittedly I am absolutely crap at dealing with these sorts of situations and feel out of my depth. The relationship before my last one was extremely abusive and has left me with fractured self-esteem when it comes to being assertive with men I am still quite nervous around them in general.
About 3 weeks ago as I was walking home somebody tried to talk to me as I was passing their flat. I didn't know them and it was a stereotypical youngish cat callar, they asked for my number to which I replied "no sorry got to dash"
Now them flats are on the very end of my road however my road is a main one and continues for around 2ish miles. As I reached my own place about 10 minutes later I noticed he had followed me down on a bicycle, by this point my pram was in my doorway and there was no hiding the fact I live there. I was spooked, again he asked for my number but I had a really bad vibe this time and he was coming across as pushy and a bit intimidating.
I had my young baby with me and just wanted him away from my flat so reluctantly I gave him my number so he would leave. When he later made contact that evening I rejected the call and I sent a text back saying I did not have given my number as I wasn't interested and felt a little bit intimidated being approached for a second time on my own property and didn't feel comfortable enough to assert myself. He replied with a simple ok and then I blocked his number.
Now on my phone you can tell when blocked numbers have tried to contact you as an alert comes up in the call log. Has been repeatedly calling me the whole time although he's calls are automatically rejected. Last week I received a call from a number I didn't recognise and it was him. He asked who he was talking to to which I replied my name and then it became clear who he was. Before I could hang up he said he had been riding past my flat every day and he had seen my ex-partner leaving my flat with our child and that it had in his words pissed him off. I told my son's father all about what had happened and he said I should call the police because it's strange. I didn't do that because I know I would be ridiculed for giving my number in the first place.
I told him he didn't know me and I found his comments to be unnerving so asked him not to contact me anymore and delete my number. Then hung up the phone and added this new number to my block list.
Fast forward to this morning I am speaking to my ex partner in my porch as he brought our son home from taking him out, this guy rides right up to my house before turning and going down a side street on his bike. He then comes back and as he does he's staring at us and deliberately jingles his heavy bike chain as if to be in a threatening manner. XP said enough is enough if you don't call the police I will as he is not happy for this to be going on with our young son in the house.
I'm feeling very nervous as I'm in here alone the majority of the time. Exp lives half an hour away but works a shift pattern that means unless it is his day off he is asleep for most of the day. Am I even entitled to go to the police about this given how I willingly handed over my number the second time? I feel absolutely ridiculous for having given him it but I was so on edge and just wanted him gone. I feel that whatever I would have done at that point the man would have been a nuisance regardless that's what sort of person follow somebody up the road after they decline to give their number. Had he not came onto my property and therefore known where I lived I wouldn't have reacted the way I did. I felt intimidated as per my anxiety which is sky high at the minute regardless.
I definitely need to make sure I stick to my guns in future regardless and I don't blame you for thinking I'm an idiot but please can somebody advise me whether this is something I can actually go to the police about?
AIBU?
Report this man to the police even though I'm partly responsible
WhiteLilys · 21/05/2018 12:46
*For clarity, the making up of a number is not to be used in seriously intimidating situations as above where the other party knows how to reach you. But more for if you are stuck on a railway platform at 1am when the trains have been delayed due to snow, and a well-meaning but very thickskinned stranger has been ignoring the signs of disinterest you have shown, and persists with trying to get to know you better.
Though in these situations, 'no' is also appropriate 
Even if you willingly gave your number (thinking he's a nice guy) he STILL wouldn't have a right to keep pestering/harassing you.
Your self esteem seems shot to pieces 
Yes definitely go to the police. In our area they are actually really really good and will put extra patrol pcso's on your street just for reassurance (although I'm aware we are lucky and it varies in other areas)
This is not your fault. His behaviour is his own responsibility.
Good grief this is ABSOLUTELY not your fault!! I am as tough as old boots and to be followed and harassed like that would have made me extremely uncomfortable. I probably would have done what you did (and now be kicking myself as you are!). But I do agree with what you say - whatever you had done, even if you had told him to bog off or given him a fake number, he would still be a nasty, stalking creep. Please please call the police. And do you have any large male friends or family who could occasionally pop round? Poor you - how horrible and unnerving
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