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To think these are red flags?

(76 Posts)
Indigoxo Sun 20-May-18 23:26:03

I've been talking with a 'friend of a friend' online so although we haven't met yet i was fairly sure he'd be ok and not an axe murderer grin We arranged a date for next weekend.

The problem is he suddenly upped his ante and taken to messaging me non stop from morning until night every day of the week, even whilst he's at work. If i don't reply in a timely manner it begins again, starting with "are you ok?". He messages me so often i've now lost all interest in him and its put me right off.

He asks what i'm eating, what i'm doing all day, what i'm watching on TV. He's sending long sloppy messages pouring his heart out telling me what a gentle and genuine guy he is, how he will treat me right, how his ex was a gold digger who left him for another man but he can tell i'm nothing like her. He apparently can't stop thinking about me and feels as though he can tell me anything. We have never seen each other in person and only chatted on a superficial level, never anything deep (at least not from me). He spends a lot of time trying to convince me of how genuine and sweet he is.

Now i've resided myself to the fact we aren't compatible as i can't deal with clingy people, but aibu to think these were potential red flags? After being in a long relationship with a raging narcissist i'm extremely suspicious of anybody who comes on this strong so soon hmm

Spudina Sun 20-May-18 23:28:56

Run OP!

DalmatianDots Sun 20-May-18 23:30:12

Christ on a bike, he sounds like a massive twat. And yes, red flags galore!

blackteasplease Sun 20-May-18 23:30:40

I agree run!

Especially jumps out that in the middle of it all he's telling you how awful his ex is and warning you not to be like her.

AnneTwackie Sun 20-May-18 23:33:04

Massive great big red flags well done you

lookingforbutterflies Sun 20-May-18 23:33:19


Prestonsflowers Sun 20-May-18 23:33:23

Run Indigoxo, run away as fast as you can.
Run for the hills.
In case I didn’t make myself clear, don’t not meet him, possibly block him. Please don’t engage with him again.

Rocinante1 Sun 20-May-18 23:34:12

It’s time for a little “thanks, but not thanks” text. Obviously worded much nicer than that!

Ruffian Sun 20-May-18 23:34:42

Couldn't be any redder if his name was Rufus Le Rouge-Flag

HelenaDove Sun 20-May-18 23:39:11

Christ he is suffocating.


StripesandMars Sun 20-May-18 23:41:40



Everexpandingwaistline Sun 20-May-18 23:42:29

Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run... I think the song goes

Indigoxo Sun 20-May-18 23:50:04

I'm glad people agree

I've gone completely silent on him but i'm yet to block. It's coming though.

Something that really spooked me was the fact he accused his ex of being bipolar and being threatening toward him, he said that despite the fact he still consoled her afterwards and made sure she was ok. This was part of one of his "im such a caring guy look how soft i am" speeches.

Even if she is bipolar (which she probably isn't as most N's like to make out their exes are crazy - been there done that) what on earth is he doing telling me all of this right now anyway?

Definite narc in sheeps clothing i think

Puffycat Sun 20-May-18 23:52:23

Get those trainers on and GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

halfwitpicker Sun 20-May-18 23:53:38

What's that cloud of dust over there?

You guessed it, our OP!


kalinkafoxtrot45 Sun 20-May-18 23:56:24

Aaargh, he sounds suffocating!

MirriVan Sun 20-May-18 23:57:21

Run for the hills!!!!
I'd tell him that you've realised that you're also a gold digger and that you looked up bipolar disorder after he said his ex had it and you reckon you might have it too - therefore if he doesn't like either of those things he's not the man for you

Bipolar doesn't equal crazy btw. Lot's of people manage to be nice people with it, too!

didsomeonesaybunny Sun 20-May-18 23:58:26

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PositiveVibez Mon 21-May-18 00:00:30

*Couldn't be any redder if his name was Rufus Le Rouge-Flag*😂

Or Reddy McRedson from Redville.

Mumto2two Mon 21-May-18 00:01:20

I’m with the others. Run!!

starsandstuff Mon 21-May-18 00:04:22


littlemisscomper Mon 21-May-18 00:06:11

Get yourself a bargepole, and then don't even touch him with it.

UpstartCrow Mon 21-May-18 00:06:27

Can I suggest you accidentally on purpose do something to put him off, so he thinks it's his idea to call it off.

MsGameandWatching Mon 21-May-18 00:07:17


Ginkypig Mon 21-May-18 00:11:16

Love bombing indigoxo look it up!

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