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To wonder wtf I should say?

(159 Posts)
Istolethisusername Sun 20-May-18 11:36:36

When I had my daughter my SIL (married to partners brother) brought round a big suitcase of clothes and a Moses basket for us. Nothing fancy, just your standard supermarket/high street stuff.

Me and partner split up, her and her dh divorced and we both moved away and lost touch.

I’ve just had a Facebook friend request and message from her - her eldest daughter has just had a dd and she would like all the stuff back she gave us.

Trouble is, my daughter is now 15 and I gave it all away to the charity shop years ago.

She never specified it was a loan, never asked for it back at any time, and I’m a bit perplexed that she has assumed that I have stored it all these years (I gave all my baby stuff away years ago)

Was I wrong to get rid of it?

How do I reply?

Oysterbabe Sun 20-May-18 11:37:56

Your daughter is 15?! She's crazy. I'm on my last baby and get rid of stuff the second he's outgrown it.

jaxhwc Sun 20-May-18 11:39:54

YANBU what the hell is she thinking!?

hammeringinmyhead Sun 20-May-18 11:41:46

If you no longer have any friendship with her as you are both separated from the brothers I'd be tempted to ignore the friend request tbh. Or just explain as you have here and then don't reply again!

ImNotMeImSomeoneElse Sun 20-May-18 11:43:18

Have you accepted the friend /message request?

If not, just ignore both.

Lacucuracha Sun 20-May-18 11:44:00

I would ignore too.

Psychobabble123 Sun 20-May-18 11:44:26

15?! 😂 tell her to jog on

Buzzlightyearsbumchin Sun 20-May-18 11:44:46

Another vote for ignoring her.

Or just message and say that you gave it to charity years ago as your dd is now 15.

How odd of her to expect you to keep all your baby things for 15 years.

MatildaTheCat Sun 20-May-18 11:45:15

‘Hi, congratulations on your grandchild! I’m afraid I haven’t kept my baby gear but hope you enjoy her.’

fairgame84 Sun 20-May-18 11:45:20

Yanbu she can't expect you to still have baby stuff from 15 years ago.

gravytrains Sun 20-May-18 11:45:26

I’d ignore the request. She has no idea how often you check Facebook. It’s s finite thing, in a few months she won’t need the stuff and will stop asking!

Fifteen years! It’s ridiculous!

PorkyPortia Sun 20-May-18 11:45:47

I’d ignore her request too
How odd

GalwayWayfarer Sun 20-May-18 11:45:48

I'd ignore tbh - or just drop a quick message saying 'nice to hear from you but I donated the things you gave me to charity several years ago - good luck to your daughter in her pregancy' and then don't engage any more!

Very odd on her part, I can't imagine why she thinks you would still have it!

Fluffypinkpyjamas Sun 20-May-18 11:47:30

I wouldn’t even reply. Seriously , what is she on? 15 years ago?! grin

TERFragetteCity Sun 20-May-18 11:51:33

'You will have to ask your brother what happened to those'.

TERFragetteCity Sun 20-May-18 11:52:14

Sorry 'my ex' not your brother...why is your job to look after these things?

BewareOfDragons Sun 20-May-18 11:53:50

That's actually hilarious.

And anyone who would seriously ask for such items 15 YEARS later isn't going to take 'no' easily. She'll probably ask for cash or something.

I would politely answer as suggested above and then ignore her entirely.

PurplePumpkinPiss Sun 20-May-18 11:54:21

That is just confused

EveningHare Sun 20-May-18 11:55:21

"I held it for 10 years, but you didn't bother to collect it, so I got rid"

LolaLolaAndMe Sun 20-May-18 11:55:31

15 years!? That's just bonkers! I'd definitely ignore her message!

Lukeandlorelai4Ever Sun 20-May-18 11:56:42

Just tell her you gave them away! Crazy to think you would still have them !

Istolethisusername Sun 20-May-18 11:57:04

I accepted the friend request but haven’t replied to the message.

I’d been looking for her for years, it looks like she remarried and changed her and the dcs surnames - I would have liked a friendship with her for the dcs sake (they’re all similar ages) and they haven’t seen each other in over 10 years (our ex’s don’t speak so there’s no contact there)

I’m going to use matildathecats reply I think as I would like to reinstate contact between us so don't want to be stand offish

GreatDuckCookery Sun 20-May-18 11:58:04

Block her. As if you'd still have the stuff after 15 years grin she knows damn well you won't have it but is probably trying to guilt you into buying something for the baby.

TheTroutofNoCraic Sun 20-May-18 12:01:15

She is BARKING!!! Ignore.

Bluebellsinthegarden Sun 20-May-18 12:04:39

How bizarre! I bet her daughter is thrilled at the prospect of 15year old clothes and Moses basket for her new baby! She will be very grateful to you for taking them to the charity shop even if her mother isn’t!

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