To wonder why dd doesn't want to join our family data storage?

[Niamhanna]

We've purchased a 200 GB storage plan on apple for our iPhones. Our younger daughter has joined it, but our older dd (aged 18) is refusing to, saying it's an invasion of privacy and she wants to keep her phone completely separate.

AIBU to wonder what she has on her phone that she wouldn't want us to see?

[teaandtwigs]

Do you remember being 18? I would absolutely be saying the same if I was your DD!

[Tobuyornot99]

A million things, she's 18! I would absolutely agree with her, daft selfies, messages with her mates about drinking too much, boys she's snogged, it would be odd if she wanted to join IMO

[Buzzlightyearsbumchin]

YAB completely U she is an adult.

I wouldn't want my family having that sort of access to my phone either.

[PinkHeart5914]

She’s an adult she can have whatever the hell she likes on her phone provided it’s not illegal it’s nobody else business.

I’m with her in it being an invasion on privacy tbh....

[gamerwidow]

Her own private stuff. It doesn’t have to be incriminating it’s just hers and you don’t have a right to see it.
I wouldn’t share my phone contents with my mum either, not because there’s anything dodgy in there but because you need some boundaries.

[Returnofthesmileybar]

Ah come on, yabu, you know it surely. I have nothing to hide either but no way would I go on to any family data storage

[BarryTheKestrel]

I wouldn't have wanted to join a family storage at that age either.
Is the storage just photos and music or is it everything from contacts and messages etc? I wouldn't have wanted my family to be able to read my messages, or see my pictures tbh.


My mum was quite against me going out and drinking/smoking/having a boyfriend even at 18/19 however I did these things and had pictures/messages etc surrounding this. If DM had been able to see it by accessing family storage it would have caused me a world of trouble even as an adult.

[GalwayWayfarer]

She's 18! What 18 year old would happily share data storage with her family? It would be like having a communal diary.

[bergamotbitch]

You're weird for wanting to see all of her stuff. Give her some privacy for God's sake!

[MorningsEleven]

Because she has a right to privacy.

[Happinesss]

She’s 18, I wouldn’t want to share my phone at 18 either

[TheFaerieQueene]

At 18 she is forging her own identity away from the family unit. She is wanting to be more than your daughter or her sibling’s sister. Her privacy is key to this.

[Niamhanna]

In the plan, she can opt out of photo or purchase sharing (films/music), but she's refusing to join because the data isn't 'encrypted' whatever that means.

[Nousernameforme]

Depends who pays for it.

[boho2u]

She's wants some privacy and 18 that's fine. I would share data storage with my parents either.

[whydoesitalwayshappentome]

I don't blame her. She is entitled to join in or not as she wants. She is an adult after all. I certainly would not have at her age or even now to be honest.

[butlerswharf]

Totally normal

[NancyDonahue]

Blimey she's 18. Leave her alone.

I'm reminded of the episide of Black Mirror where the mum gets obsessed with knowing where her daughter is all the time. It didn't end well.

[FullOfJellyBeans]

I'm 35 and I wouldn't want my parents seeing all my photos, even though none of them are remotely interesting. She wants some privacy let her be!

[BaronessBomburst]

I'm with you're daughter.
In fact, I don't even bother backing my phone up to the free cloud storage because I don't want my data floating around.

[FuckPants]

I'm surprised that you even had to ask TBH.

Would you have wanted your parents to be able go through your phone contents when you were 18?

[AlonsoTigerHeart]

Yes at 32 i wouldnt share either

[ToastyFingers]

I wouldn't do this now, let alone at 18.

[Snowysky20009]

If you don't know what encrypted means, are you sure sites you use, go on, purchase from etc are safe?

[WonderTweek]

I wouldn’t want to share my data with my husband, let alone my parents. I have absolutely nothing to hide but I was raised to believe that phones (and bags) are private and you don’t have to share the contents with anyone. I have no idea how to deal with my son eventually getting a smart phone as I’d never want to check it but it seems to be wise to check you kid’s phones to make sure they’re safe online. (My kid’s only 16 months though so I have some time to think about it. )

But to OP, I think it’s perfectly normal to want privacy.