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AIBU?

Am I weird.

74 replies

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 19/05/2018 13:56

Hi all not this is not an AIBU I just want to know if I'm weird or something. I choose not to drink alcohol because I don't like the taste and I watched my uncle die from liver failure when people find out that I don't drink they are shocked and think its a bit strange. My friend invited me to her birthday party in August I said I would go and when she found out that I don't drink she was shocked and asked why I said yes to going is there some new unwritten rule that I don't know about that says if your going to a party you have to drink. My family don't see it as being weird or strange its just accepted that I don't drink but when friends find out they all seem shocked by the idea.

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Seryph · 19/05/2018 14:04

I think it is a bit unusual in our culture not to drink. However, I live in Glasgow (well known for it's drinking culture), and know several people who don't.
I don't think it's weird, and I don't think YABU.

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DelphiniumBlue · 19/05/2018 14:06

How is it possible that someone you call a friend doesn't already know that you don't drink?

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 19/05/2018 14:06

Thank you Seryph I realise that it's a bit unusual I just don't understand how shocked people get when they find out that I choose not to drink. Glad to know that I'm not weird Smile

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vampirethriller · 19/05/2018 14:06

Not weird. I was an alcoholic and so I don't drink at all now. Still get people (who know why I don't) offering me a drink though and asking "but surely you're alright now?"
That's weird! Not you.

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Eolian · 19/05/2018 14:07

Of course you're not weird. Some people drink lots, some people drink moderately, some people don't drink at all. Apparently it's increasingly common for the younger generation to be teetotal.

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gravytrains · 19/05/2018 14:07

Not weird at all. The binge drinking generation is growing out of it anyway I think.

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 19/05/2018 14:08

Delphiniumblue because I don't shout it from the rooftops that I don't drink people only find out when they ask me to go on a night out and I say that I don't drink.

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VelvetSpoon · 19/05/2018 14:08

I wouldn't call it weird.

I know a few people who don't drink because of family members who are/ were alcoholics. I do drink but rarely nowadays as I don't go out to pubs eye often and am now usually the designated driver.

I'd say I'm actually more surprised by how much some people drink regularly (a lot of people in my office do a bottle of wine a night with their spouses, every night) rather than people who don't drink at all.

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AmazingPostVoices · 19/05/2018 14:09

I don’t think it’s weird, I don’t even think it’s that unusual.

I know lots of people who either don’t drink or drink very, very little.

It’s not that big a deal.

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gravytrains · 19/05/2018 14:11

Why do you say though? Just order your orange juice or whatever and in my experience people don’t care because they get a cheaper round!

Of course, the downside is that it’s disproportionate price wise when it’s your round but thems the breaks.

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WhiteCoyote · 19/05/2018 14:12

Not in the slightest op. I don’t drink because one of my family member was an alcoholic. Destroyed the whole family eventually.

More to the point it’s expensive and leaves me feeling like 💩 (even one small glass) so I don’t bother. There’s literally no positives to it.

I wouldn’t spend any time with someone who told me it was an unwritten rule that I HAD to drink.

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stevie69 · 19/05/2018 14:14

I don't drink. Am I weird? Yep, weird as fuck. But that has nothing to do with the abstinence from alcohol.

Stick to your guns. You're doing just fine Smile

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 19/05/2018 14:14

Thank you everyone I feel better knowing that I'm not as weird and some people seem to think. I just have never been one for nights out I prefer to stay at home and that's more accepted than finding out that I don't drink.

vampirethriller do they not realise that just one drink could undo all your hard work.

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Floralnomad · 19/05/2018 14:16

Not weird at all , I don’t drink because I grew up in close proximity to an alcoholic grandmother who ran a pub so I saw my share of drunks . I then spent several years working on a liver ward so have seen my share of people dying of alcoholic related causes . My dh is also tee total and although we’ve never pushed an anti drinking policy at home neither of our adult dc drink either because they don’t like the taste .

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 19/05/2018 14:17

Thank you everyone Smile I didn't think there was anything all that strange about not drinking it's my choice just like it's peoples choice to drink each to their own.

Thank you Stevie69 Smile

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 19/05/2018 14:19

Thank you Floralnomad it's hard watching a family member drink themselves to death it was after losing my uncle that made realise just how much damage alcohol can do.

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crackerjake · 19/05/2018 14:22

Problem I have when not drinking is that people assume I'm pregnant.

I'm having a break right now for health reasons and it's great. Might stay tee total actually!

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Fatted · 19/05/2018 14:24

I don't drink much myself these days. Just because I don't want to, no other reason.

I've encountered the same attitude about not drinking. Soon as I ask for a coke without saying I don't want to drink it's 20 questions. 'Why not?!' 'It's boring!'. Etc.

My dad doesn't drink at all for medical reasons and is constantly met with the same attitude. Lazy people still get him bottles of wine and whiskey for Xmas etc.

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ememem84 · 19/05/2018 14:24

I don’t think it’s wierd not to drink. I think it’s wierd to think it’s wierd iyswim. Dh’s family (his dad and uncles etc) are big drinkers. You apparently can’t have fun unless you get steaming.

I do drink but don’t get drunk. I’ve done my fair share of partying and getting drunk. Don’t like being hungover or feeling out of control (apart from last weekend when I had a bit too much at a wedding but had the most fun...!)

I’m boring apparently. And it’s ubfair on dh if I “only” have two glasses of wine and he drives us home.

But yeah. You’re not wierd.

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ComtesseDeSpair · 19/05/2018 14:25

Odd that people are "shocked" - mildly surprised maybe, but I know plenty of people who don't drink for all kinds of reasons and have never thought it particularly unusual. As long as you aren't po-faced about other people drinking or attach some sort of superior value on being a non-drinker, I can't see why it's an issue for anybody.

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livelyredjellybean · 19/05/2018 14:27

My grandfather who lived to the age of 94 had 2 alcoholic drinks in his lifetime, he never liked the taste. It’s probably more unusual than it is ‘weird’.

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Prawnofthepatriarchy · 19/05/2018 14:29

I clicked on your post because I am weird and I wanted to find out if you were too. Then I find it's about alcohol...

I'm a non-practicing alcoholic. 25+ years. Very few people care or even notice that I don't drink. IME the only people who are bothered about me not drinking have their own issues with alcohol. Either they are defensive about the amount they drink or, rarely, they want me to tell them how I stopped. I can and do help the second group.

You're not weird. Well, no more than many other people. Grin

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Mumoftwoyoungkids · 19/05/2018 14:30

I don’t really drink. I don’t “Not Drink” - think I had half a glass of prosecco at Xmas and a cocktail while on holiday at Easter - but average units per week is well into the decimal points.

I don’t make it a huge deal - just ask for a soft drink and comment that alcohol messes up my sleep (which it does) so I’m not drinking tonight.

People seem to find “not drinking tonight” no big deal. The fact that it is always “not drinking tonight” is either not noticed or by the time that people realise that I never drink they know me well enough to not care.

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lhastingsmua · 19/05/2018 14:33

Well Brits are known for their high alcohol consumption Grin

I don’t think it’s necessarily weird that you don’t drink. However there are loads of alcoholic drinks that taste lovely and where you cannot taste alcohol at all - like cocktails for example (pina colada etc). Not all drinks taste vile like pure vodka

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Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 19/05/2018 14:37

Thank you everyone I now feel a lot less weird. I just see as being each to their own and I never judge people who do choose to drink because that is their choice just like it's my choice not to. I can go to family parties and have a great time and a laugh without needing to be drunk. Even my boyfriend is drinking a lot less than he use to before he met me and I never asked him to stop drinking that was he choice. I wouldn't force my choices on to anyone.

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