DofE badly organised

[Cora1942]

Dd doing DofE today .
School have given out 3 man tent to carry. Fair enough they have to carry. But main part of tent is groundsheet, fly sheet etc all in one so can’t be split up.
So one girl carries this and others pegs, poles and cooking equipment.
My Dd fitted 4kg tent plus all her equipment in her rucksack.
She could t fit in a pair of spare trousers so left behind. One of the other girls took her plate and bowl.
But third girl refused to take anything . Turns out girls 2 and 3 have small rucksacks.
So AIBU to expect the school to have checked rucksack sizes before trip and insist it’s a team thing .
I can see my Dd carrying heavy tent for two days as other students not prepared .

[FullOfJellyBeans]

I think you are being a bit U. I think part of DofE was to organise those things together as a group, not rely on the school to do the teamwork for you. Obviously it's annoying if some of the girls aren't co-operating but I think that's part of the challenge.

[TheIsland]

I lead DofE and it’s up to the children to get a bag of the size we say (or ask to borrow one). If they say they don’t need one of ours and are getting a bag then we trust that they/parents are sorting it.

I don’t think it’s the DofE that’s badly organised. I think it’s the people she’s doing it with who are.

[Cora1942]

Don’t think you can rely on parents who haven’t got a clue about hiking etc to get right stuff . A pre walk check wouldn’t be hard to organise. In Guiding that’s often done .

[KeithLeMonde]

My son got landed carrying the heavy gear too as one of the few who had the right size of bag. Came home with very sore back and shoulders (and he's strong and used to walking).

Tbh I think it's a learning experience for them. Don't expect others to be as prepared as you are. Consider whether to fight your corner ("I'm not carrying that the whole way, you should have got a bigger bag") or suck it up for the greater good. Things like this will come up throughout their lives.

[Furano]

OMg we had this, one girl refused to carry any of the tent or stove because she had a small bag that was already really heavy.

Got to the campsite at the end of the first day and she pulls out a can of Coke. She’s packed eight cans of coke because ‘that’s all she can drink’. Stupid bitch.

There’s me and the other girl (who Jas a bad knee) carrying all the group equipment so this idiot can carry cans of coke.

Anyway next day I took a bundle of the tent off bad knee girl and lashed it onto the stupid girls rucksack and told her to either deal with the weight or ditch her remaining cans of coke.

[teenagerparent]

Wouldn't this be solved by making the others carry your daughter's bag whilst she carries their's to share the time out carrying it?
As someone else has said DofE is suppose to teach them teamwork etc and not for the adults to tell them what to do ( and I am a Scout Leader )
And as PP has said in good weather it could be tied to outside of a bag anyway

[TeenTimesTwo]

I'm surprised they didn't do a kit check, DD1's school did, seems like common sense.

Both my DDs have poor core stability and are very petite. DD1 only just managed all the stuff she had to carry. It would have helped if one of the 6ft boys in her team had carried more of the general equipment, as she carried a disproportionate amount for her size.
If DD2 does DofE I will be offering to purchase and then donate a super-light-weight tent for her team.

[ragged]

How many people in your DD's group, to spread the stuff out upon? I thought 4 was a minimum but sounds like OP is saying only 3 total in group.

When you say "third girl refused to take anything " -- did she literally carry nothing, not even own rucksack? I don't know how much school can enforce true team-work, the idea is the kids gain the skills of persuasion, too. They have to do it for selves. There is a huge amount of careful co-expedition selection in DD's set, although some kids get assigned by teachers. DD's leaders threatened many kit checks but in reality never did a single kit check.

Good news is, no one will want to take the shiftless along ones for Silver.

[ragged]

ps: isn't the guideline 1/3 of own body weight? Which is admittedly huge, but they are usually young & fit. 1/3 of even a very petite 48kg kid would still be 16kg, which is tonnes of stuff in reality.

The conditions can make kids rise to the challenge, the ones with ability will collaborate & make it happen in spite of awkward fellows. Not a bad skill to develop.

[Melstarrynight]

Could they not carry each other's bags on different days?

[RedSkyAtNight]

Didn't they have a practice expedition where this sort of thing would be ironed out (or is this the practice)?

DS's school also did a kit check - I thought it was a waste of time as it's not that difficult to pack a kit list into a rucksack, but clearly it was designed for situations such as this. Agree that the girls can just take it in turns to carry the heavy bag though!

[NeedForBlossom]

Very U to blame school. Students were told what they would be needing to carry, as pp says this is a team effort.

at the coke girl

[FleurDelacoeur]

AIBU to expect the school to have checked rucksack sizes before trip and insist it’s a team thing

The whole point of D of E is that the kids sort these things out for themselves.

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

Were you not tempted to throw cans down a hill (and perhaps follow that with coke girl)?

[Cora1942]

Yes this is practise and the guideline is 25% of body weight. Dd carrying just under that so it’s fine.
6 girls with two 3 man tents between them.
Furano’s post re coke made me laugh.
And yes ofcourse 3rd girl is carrying her rucksack just doesn’t get about sharing group stuff - she had sausages apparently.
She was posting last night on a group chat how my Dd had a problem with packing - not getting it’s a team thing imo.

[swirlyorangecarpets]

My daughters school managed this sort of problem by providing almost all equipment. Each child had an identical rucksack, and the tents slept three and could be divided into two parts with the third person carrying the cooking equipment. The school did the dividing of equipment so it was out of the children's control.

In her case, however, she had a child in her group of three who constantly laid down for rests and refused to walk. It made the whole walk very stop/start and drove the rest of the group mad, when all they wanted to do was get on with it and finish. I think that dealing with other peoples quirks (whether equipment or laziness related) is probably a large part of the learning curve.

[JustDanceAddict]

Mine have done it and they borrow rucksacks

[ragged]

Part of my job involves interviewing young people... a big part of what we look for is people making the best of every situation, and especially the bad situations. It's very valuable experience.

[ErrolTheDragon]

If this is the bronze, and especially if it is the practice, I'd have expected the organisers to have done some checking of equipment and fair sharing.

[Thingsthatgo]

We had to sort ourselves out, and not carry more than 1/4 body weight. It’s a pain if she’s been put in a group with someone selfish, because it’s all about working as a team. However, IMO it’s up to them to sort it out because that’s the whole point.

[PlaymobilPirate]

Get the girls to take turns carrying the heavy one. Job done. NOT the school's job to sort bags

[Furano]

Were you not tempted to throw cans down a hill (and perhaps follow that with coke girl)?

Yes!

[Furano]

In her case, however, she had a child in her group of three who constantly laid down for rests and refused to walk. It made the whole walk very stop/start and drove the rest of the group mad

That would have given me the rage too!

[EBearhug]

Back when I did DofE, which admittedly was decades ago, we had kit checks, partly to make sure we didn't have any forbidden items, which I'd have thought was more likely in these days of ubiquitous mobile devices. And it was also to make sure we had the right stuff.

I also remember that one girl had bad period pains, so the rest of us carried her rucksack between us for the last stretch, using the shoulder straps and waistbando. Surely that is partly the point of DofE, helping each other out?

I do think rucksack size can be an issue with smaller participants. Even if you've got one with adjustable straps and so on, a full 75-80l rucksack is BIG, and that will be difficult for those who are short or slight, which is particularly likely at bronze if they start at the lowest age limit.

[NeedForBlossom]

In DS2's group, someone refused to walk on the second morning. The group finally set off an hour later than planned (after finally managing, collectively, to persuade the individual to walk).

Agree that DofE is about overcoming challenges of all sorts and the experience they gain is invaluable.