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To wonder why nobody told me about post pregnancy body

(142 Posts)
Muse84 Fri 18-May-18 21:47:16

Maybe I was just naive

I'm talking about the whole body changes here (down below... Let's not even go there!)

Pre pregnancy, I honestly thought that the extent of my worries would be a saggy belly (fixable with diet and exercise) and possibly saggy boobs (manageable with bra)

I'm lucky that I don't have a saggy belly and no stretch marks. Thank you universe.

But my god, my hips are wider, my ribcage is wider. My boobs currently stick out either side on my sides, if facing mirror.

Basically, I look like a frump

Why did nobody tell me about the general width expansion????!!!

I know this is superficial, but I'm so sad and tired of feeling like a big wide frump. Clothes don't sit on my like they used to (All I see is boob and hip. My grandmother, basically) and I genuinely don't feel as if I recognise my old self anymore

It's a little hard to take with crap post pregnancy hair and massive dark circles.

I'm just a bit sad. Sigh

Moan over. Sorry! I know it's a minor worry in the grand scheme of things

sherazade Fri 18-May-18 21:51:24

I know exactly how you feel op . I was in for a massive shock after dc1. Couldn't bear the sight of myself / thought I'd magically go back to normal bar some extra weight. So then I stupidly gave away all my nice ore pregnancy clothes thinking they'd never fit me again but I was fitter than ever a year later (and no longer 'wide') so there's hope!
Take postpartum pictures on your phone at regular intervals and you'll be amazed how , with a decent diet and being fairly active , you bounce back quickly !

SleepFreeZone Fri 18-May-18 21:51:50

I suspect it’s just because it’s so different across the board.

Post pregnancy I haven’t come out too bad. I am definitely not as tight downstairs as I was before my kids were born and I now have internal piles which I didn’t have before. Otherwise my body is pretty much the same which I know makes me one of the luckier ones.

Peanutbuttercups21 Fri 18-May-18 21:53:57

Nothing wrong with boobs and hips, it's are a woman(and not 12 yr old girl grin)

Your body took 9 months to grow the baby, it needs 9 months to go back to (more or less) normal. Give it time

SecretStash Fri 18-May-18 21:55:20

Hang on, how old is your baby?

megletthesecond Fri 18-May-18 21:56:40

The bigger ribcage and feet thing was expensive.

Muse84 Fri 18-May-18 21:58:30

6 months. I'm being melodramatic I know. I just hate the feeling of not feeling myself. And I see so much bad stuff when I look in the mirror. I'm honestly I'm ok with it most days, I have a beautiful baby and there's more to life! But when I feel I can never look good, it starts to grate a bit. have given me hope!

BanginChoons Fri 18-May-18 21:58:43

I'm 13 years post baby no 1 and My body never regained pre pregnancy shape. I didn't even put on much weight.

I hear you op.

SecretStash Fri 18-May-18 21:59:04

My ribcage went down, which was why I wondered how old your baby was.

My feet never went back to their original size 5 though and never again could I buy the child size Adidas.

I’m still waiting for bigger breasts...

Unusualllly Fri 18-May-18 21:59:11

Not to mention pissing yourself when you run and periods way heavier than before. Being a mum sucks (but also totally awesome.. aka brainfuck).

Muse84 Fri 18-May-18 22:00:07

Hah yes it is expensive!!

I think they should covered this in nct. Just a brief mentiongrin

Muse84 Fri 18-May-18 22:01:22

Pissing yourself when you run!!

I feel a massive sense of solidarity with every mum in the same position!

Baubletrouble43 Fri 18-May-18 22:01:27

Meh. My twins are 18 mo and several people have asked me recently if I'm expecting again. Others have remarked how tired I look ( no shit Sherlock) I officially have no self esteem left. Your body will come back. May just take a bit of effort that's all x

SecretStash Fri 18-May-18 22:01:41

OP, my body took about a year to return to normal after my first baby.

It took a shorter amount of time with the second but that’s because he had a ton of allergies so I had to stop eating a shit load of stuff, and lost weight in fretting about food.
But the wide ribs and boobs all over the place, that does calm down. It really does.

It takes longer if you’re breastfeeding, but I was ok with waiting.

SecretStash Fri 18-May-18 22:02:47

Ah yes. The first time I pissed my pants was on a trampoline in Bognor.

I wasn’t expecting that, I can tell you.

beansforbreakfastonceagain Fri 18-May-18 22:03:38

Yep, my ribcage as well. I have a dress I used to wear when I was a stone and a half heavier than I am now ffs but I cannot get it to zip right up at the back.

GrandTheftWalrus Fri 18-May-18 22:04:13

I hate my post pregnancy body. Dd is 18 months old now and I'm nowhere near back to how I was.

I was a size 12 and happy. Now I'm a 14 sometimes a 16 and feel fat and disgusting.

My old tops still fit though but none of my old trousers do.

I'm so so disappointed in myself at being this size after going to a 10 from a 24 then settling at a 12. Even when pregnant I was a 12 in maternity trousers.

KatnissK Fri 18-May-18 22:06:02

Yeah I feel like a different person. Not only stretchmarks / huge boobs / wider hips / destroyed downstairs but I have also figured out I have that diastasis recti which would explain why my abdomen is such an odd shape, my hair is a totally different texture (bizarrely) and I now run very very warm (was always a cold person pre pregnancy). I honestly don't recognise myself anymore!

Waitingonasmiley42 Fri 18-May-18 22:10:49

I wasn't prepared for the csection overhang sad. Now I've had two and I don't think it'll ever leave. I also have never been able to fit back into size 10 trousers despite going back to pre-pregnancy weight and lower.

Feel pretty vile and definitely not body confident.

GrandTheftWalrus Fri 18-May-18 22:11:38

Vile is how I feel as well.

Echobelly Fri 18-May-18 22:14:15

The ribcage one is odd, isn't it? Annoying, as it cost me a few nice dresses (I guess I'll never fit my wedding dress again, LOL!) because I have small boobs so they tended to be close fitting.

Fortunately I always had a belly anyway so it being worse is no great loss. Escaped damage below as I had to have c-sections due to a hip defect.

I think this whole thing about 'getting your body back' seems to be a thing of the last 20 years. You never seemed to see anyone talking about it when I was a kid in magazines and stuff (I used to read my mum's), but I guess in an odd way, pregnancy was still kind of taboo, especially for celebs, until relatively recently, and now everyone's on and on about it. It pisses me off so much when an interview with a celeb new mum talks more about her body/fitness regime than her child or being a mum!

Mybabystolemysanity Fri 18-May-18 22:15:10

You're not wrong Muse

I got really annoyed in an antenatal classes this week (am on second baby, didn't do them first time round) when I discovered that the midwife running it really actively avoided talking about constipation, stitches, incontinence etc after the birth. Full of first time mums and IMO it does no favours to anyone to say it won't happen to you. I just thought you poor girls have no idea what's about to happen to you and I cannot understand the conspiracy of silence with midwives.

I got a shock when stitches didn't hurt as much as I thought they would, I pooed wine corks for a week, my belly looked like it was on fire with stretch marks and my previously full breasts suddenly resembled a couple of flatbreads without even breastfeeding because it was so bloody painful. I was borderline fecally incontinent for six months and still have bleeding piles and can't squat down because of scar tissue. I had PND for well over a year too. Not a single person said any of it might happen, but that I would most probably be ok eventually.

I can remember being six months in and thinking I would never be the same again but thankfully most things were beginning to correct themselves by the time I got upduffed again when DD was 10 months. Even the stretch marks faded to an acceptable state.

You've done a massive thing having a baby but you will come to love your involuntarily modified shell. You're still you on the inside. I'm finding fake tan and highlights go a long way to making me feel like me again!

NonStopDisco Fri 18-May-18 22:16:15

Yep, I’m 2lb lighter than my pre-preg weight, and yet I’m two sizes bigger. I’m fitter and eating better than pre-pregnancy, but somehow I’m fatter, and if not fatter, then somehow lumpier. And my comically large breasts take up the entirety of my torso, unless I wear an uplifting bra, in which case Donald Trump would mistake them for incoming missiles.

ragged Fri 18-May-18 22:17:17

odd, my rib cage didn't change at all. Nor my hips, teeth, feet or boobs (in long run).
I'm long in the body, though, plenty of room for baby below rib cage.

Babies mean my sleep has been ruined forever, though. I'll never get that back. We can't even discuss sanity.

dogzdinner Fri 18-May-18 22:17:45

My DS1 is 18 (yrs not months). My body never returned to pre pregnancy state. You get used to it.

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