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I am not ok

(160 Posts)
Incarnationsofunderstanding Wed 16-May-18 20:37:55

AIBU to think sometimes that is the hardest thing to say?

Kind of want to start a # but daren’t.

For those who don’t appear to have collapsed.

For those who get up every day and work and look after kids and care for family and friends. For those who laugh and smile and function and drive onwards.

“I am not ok” Are sometimes the hardest words to say?

I am not ok.

BugsBunny14 Wed 16-May-18 20:44:02

Yes that’s true - even when we are not ok, we are expected to say I’m ok.

PrancingQueen Wed 16-May-18 20:47:11

I am not ok either OP.
Can’t say it in RL though!

Imnotaslimjim Wed 16-May-18 20:49:59

I have said it in RL although I am getting counselling.

I am not OK and haven't been for a while. Thankfully I have a very supportive girlfriend who understands a great deal about mental health.

I hope you can all seek the support you need flowers

FiveGoMadInDorset Wed 16-May-18 20:50:15

I heard a great definition of FINE the other day, fucking incapable of normal emotions

FiveGoMadInDorset Wed 16-May-18 20:50:36

And yes I am not OK is very difficult to say in real life

FrogSpawnGotMe Wed 16-May-18 20:51:22

me too

BetterEatCheese Wed 16-May-18 20:59:05

I'm not ok at all but nobody knows

Incarnationsofunderstanding Wed 16-May-18 21:01:54

That definition of FINE is totally on point.

Spotsandstars Wed 16-May-18 21:07:00

FINE

Fragile
Insecure
Negative
Emotional

Flowers op

eyeswideshit Wed 16-May-18 21:09:10

I've recently started telling people that I'm not ok when they ask. They immediately clam up and make a quick exist. Makes me feel so much better! Hugs OP

ificouldwritealettertome Wed 16-May-18 21:09:11

Definitely the hardest thing to say. Wearing a smile all day is fucking hard work, but it seems tougher not to wear one...

SaucyJack Wed 16-May-18 21:14:28

flowers

I have nothing useful to say, but I have an emo teen who plays this 20 times a day so I can offer it up to you as a theme tune if you want one smile

SaucyJack Wed 16-May-18 21:15:28

Try again

My links are failing me tonight.

StopCloudSeeding Wed 16-May-18 21:21:31

You know, 'your thoughts become things'!
Look around you, everything originated from a thought!
You have to take control of your mind, control your thoughts.
I try very hard to maintain a 'gratitude attitude'. There is always something, no matter how small, to be grateful for.

PleaseDontGoadTheToad Wed 16-May-18 21:22:48

I don't like admitting that I'm not okay in real life.

It seems so weak somehow.

RJnomore1 Wed 16-May-18 21:23:53

You can be grateful and still not okay.

It's okay not to be okay.

You just need to know it isn't permanent and there's days coming when you will be okay.

flowers

maxthemartian Wed 16-May-18 21:25:28

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

PinotMwah Wed 16-May-18 21:26:00

Love the F.I.N.E acronym.

This is absolutely spot on.

I work in an industry where you have to be seen to be "fine" all the time at almost any cost. It's really bad form to whinge or show any vulnerability at all. A lot of the people I work with are cracking up in various ways but there seems to be an unwritten rule that above all else you don't show this.

It's fucking unhealthy and I hate it.

TheDeuteragonist Wed 16-May-18 21:26:25

Loving the link to MCR.

I am not okay, either. But if someone asks then I am fine - like Ross in friends.

Bapple Wed 16-May-18 21:28:50

I am not ok. I can type it but I can’t say it in RL.
Yanbu. Comforting but sad to read your post.

megletthesecond Wed 16-May-18 21:28:53

I'm not ok either.
But I can't afford any more counselling (£44 a session) and tbh I don't have time to fit it in.

PinotMwah Wed 16-May-18 21:30:01

StopCloudSeeding its true that thoughts create actions and feed through into life. Negative/positive emotions do create their own momentum.

But I think the OP is making a slightly different point which is that we live in an environment (and in a country) where its very difficult to admit that you are sad/angry/not coping. Things are improving a bit. But there's still a huge social stigma around people who don't maintain the façade. It takes real courage to tell people you are not alright. I don't have the balls to do it, personally, other than with really close friends and people I really trust. I wish I did.

felicitythemangyfox Wed 16-May-18 21:33:55

Me neither OP. flowers

BuntyII Wed 16-May-18 21:34:11

I'm not ok either, there's a situation in my life that's very hard and I'm not coping well at all. I've tried to tell those close to me but there's nothing they can do really.

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