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AIBU to be upset that DH is not interested in Harry Potter

(181 Posts)
Typinginbed Sat 12-May-18 13:21:16

I’m a middle aged woman and for years I’ve loved all things Harry Potter. The books caught my imagination and the universal and uplifting themes appeal to me.

I wouldn’t say I’m a mega fan. I don’t know how to meet with other fans but once a year I dress up for Comic-Con. I read fanfiction in my spare time. I watched cursed child at the theatre (it was a good play but a shit story). I’ve been to the uk Harry Potter tours but would not go abroad for it. I hope I’m painting a clear picture.

I’ve been married for 15 years and my husband has not even read one of the books. It’s not that he is not a reader, he reads lots of fantasy etc. He even introduced me to Game of Thrones in the 90s before it was mainstream grin and I watch that with him and have read the books.

He’s a football fan and I’ve bought him the novelty socks, gone to a few games. I don’t particularly enjoy it but I will be there when he’s watching it on tv sometimes, maybe playing on my phone or in and out of the room.

DH has never even read one HP book. He has only sat through part of one film as me and the DC were watching. He was talking over it and making annoying comments (e.g. when Hagrid comes on screen he will say ‘he could do with a trim!’ ‘Oh he’ll have someone’s eye out running with that wand!’ during a sad bit). We have the audiobooks but he won’t listen even.

He says ‘I’ll get round to reading them after xyz’ but for 15 years it hasn’t happened. I’ve told him it’s important to me.

AIBU to be hurt by this.

guiltynetter Sat 12-May-18 13:23:41

yes, YABU. he doesn’t have to like what you like!

user1471517900 Sat 12-May-18 13:24:20

Yes. They are kids books and movies. I've never read them or seen films either. Surely you and your DH are allowed things without the other involved.

Floralnomad Sat 12-May-18 13:25:43

YABU , it’s not important that he reads a book or watches a film just because you enjoyed it . I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than have anything to do with my husbands hobby which is boring as hell and I don’t expect him to watch cricket just because I love it .

guiltynetter Sat 12-May-18 13:25:45

my guilty pleasure is watching trashy TV shows like Real Housewives. my DH hates them and if he’s in while they’re on he makes comments through them too. i’m not hurt by it!

SoWakeUp Sat 12-May-18 13:25:48

He's an adult.
He can decide what he likes and doesn't like. You do not have to share every interest


dayinlifeof Sat 12-May-18 13:25:53

YABU. Why does he have to like them? They are only books, hardly a big deal in a relationship surely?

ButtMuncher Sat 12-May-18 13:26:06

YABU - we all have our own interests. I'm sure your DH has heard many HP conversations in the past and therefore has made the decision that it's not his thing. He's entitled to that, just like you don't have to take an interest in his hobbies. Just because you does doesn't mean he has to for yours.

AnneLovesGilbert Sat 12-May-18 13:26:31

YABU. I’m a keen reader but Harry Potter isn’t my bag at all.

It’s nice you try to share his interests. Football is awful and much much worse than HP. But he’s not obliged to like what you like, or try.

Being hurt about it is a bit weird.

JenBarber Sat 12-May-18 13:26:37

Nothing puts me off something more than other people going on about it.

The HP books are cute but it's all become a bit overhyped. It's everywhere, like the Kardashians with broomsticks.

TabbyMack Sat 12-May-18 13:27:41

I am not sure which is more “feeling hurt” that he doesn’t want to read a book you like or the fact that the book in question is aimed at children.

Grow up a bit, eh?

BigPinkBall Sat 12-May-18 13:28:08

My DH loves Harry Potter and things like that, I can’t think of anything worse!

AnneLovesGilbert Sat 12-May-18 13:28:25

Also, what if he read one and thought it was shit. How would that help?

I read a book by an author my ex loved and it bored me senseless. I tried not to judge him for having such poor taste but found the few positives I could and left him to his things while I enjoyed my own.

ScreamingValenta Sat 12-May-18 13:28:35

YABU. Harry Potter bores me to tears.

However, it's not on for your DH to talk over the films if you're trying to watch them, so YANBU to be annoyed at him for this.

ICantCopeAnymore Sat 12-May-18 13:29:10

YABU because he doesn't have to like what you do, however, as an adult Potter fan, YANBU to wish that he loved it too.

The books mean a great deal to me, for very personal reasons. If my husband didn't like Harry Potter, I wouldn't have married him and had a Harry Potter wedding because it's such an integral part of my life.

I'd expect a partner to show a slight interest in my hobbies, if I'm honest. I make the effort to listen to DH when he talks about his, even though I'm not keen on the sport he played, or sport in general, I will listen, have made the effort to gain some knowledge on it and will watch with him sometimes. Because I love him.

TenancyTroublesAgain Sat 12-May-18 13:29:11

I love Harry Potter but YABU to expect him to read it if he's not interested. Yanbu to feel disappointed that he's not a fan like you though!

hidinginthenightgarden Sat 12-May-18 13:30:00

I find it odd that it "means a lot to you" for him to read a book you like. I like harry potter. Watched the last film on my own in the cinema because no one would come with me.
I think it is okay for couples not to like the same things all the time.

gillybeanz Sat 12-May-18 13:30:49

Of course YABU, why does he have to like what you do.
My dh can't stand it, really hates it.
That didn't stop the dc or me enjoying the movies.

ICantCopeAnymore Sat 12-May-18 13:31:06

It's also really sad when people on Mumsnet tell others to grow up when they have differing interests. I think alcohol is the most ridiculous thing in the world, I hate everything about it, yet I understand some of my friends like it, so I don't tell them to grow up. At least enjoying Harry Potter doesn't change my behaviour and isn't a massive burden on the NHS.

Brokit Sat 12-May-18 13:32:01

YABU to expect another person to read a book, not only that they are children's books.

OutsideContextProblem Sat 12-May-18 13:32:06

YANBU. DH waited until the last HP book cake out until he read them but he did then read them and it was nice that he was included in the household conversations. He’s refusing to read GOT until it’s finished too though, so we may have a bit of a wait on that front sad.

Spam88 Sat 12-May-18 13:32:08

I get where you're coming from OP. I bloody love Harry Potter and would love to be able to talk to my DH about the books, but he hasn't read any of them. He's watched all the films though after he foolishly bought me tickets for the studio tour so I made him watch them all in a few days 😁 we've also played the Lego Xbox game so he knows a few spells at least (all the 'they're children's books' people will be extra horrified at adults playing Harry Potter Lego games I'm sure!).

Remote1candles Sat 12-May-18 13:32:21

I think he could have made an effort to try the books and at least watch the films with you. My husband's into watching a sport that I wasn't interested in before meeting him. I've watched it with him, booked for us to see it live and generally take an interest. It's still not my cup of tea really and sometimes he goes with his brother rather than me but it's pretty usual to at least try to have interests in common.

BulletWithABun Sat 12-May-18 13:32:28

It's everywhere, like the Kardashians with broomsticks.

Brilliant and so true! grin

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 Sat 12-May-18 13:32:38

I agree with everyone else. I love HP, my DH loves computer games. I might watch HP (for the millionth time) while he plays computer games somewhere else. There is no need for him to be interested in everything I like and vice versa. YABU!

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