Ok, I will try and keep this succinct and also not give away any outing details...
So my husband had an affair and left me and my 2 small children (3 and 5) last year. And around the same time, a guy at work went through a similar situation. He is the 'main parent' (sorry if not correct term, no offense is meant) for his son who is 6.5 (i.e. has him for 12/14 overnights etc.) and so am I for mine .
We ended up getting together and are mainly happy, and have gotten to the stage where we are thinking of a future together, so have been slowly introducing my kids to him and his kid to me. This is all going swimmingly and my kids think he is great and his son thinks I am great.
Here comes the problem if you are still reading. His son hates my kids. His child is 3 years older than my youngest and he just can't grasp the fact that my youngest is too little to understand and play the way he wants. As an example, yesterday he was trying to play the Nintendo Switch with my child and he just could understand why my child couldn't press the buttons at the right time. This lead to the mother of all tantrums and him saying he hates us and this is the worst day of his life and he never wants to see my kids again and why can't I just visit on my own.
I know all kids can have there moments, but this sort of interaction happens every time and normally several times a meet up - the melt downs last for around 45 minutes - 1 hour sometimes. My youngest gets quite upset as he can't understand what he is doing wrong and he thinks it is his fault that all this keeps happen.
I guess my AIBU is... should I just give up on this? Or am I expecting too much too soon? Has anyone been in a similar boat and has any advice to share. We try to do things like meet on neutral ground, like the park, or go to his so he feels it is 'his safe space' and we have been to mine. But every meet-up goes the same way. My kids are no angels, but they are good kids and they aren't doing anything 'on purpose' to upset him - if that makes sense?
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AIBU?
Trouble with new boyfriend's kids and mine
299 replies
SWMWAFC · 07/05/2018 16:43
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