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To think it's impossible to explain how painful labour is?

(522 Posts)
Mamabear1475 Thu 03-May-18 17:49:50

Sil is trying for a baby. She asked how painful it is. I told her there is no way to describe it. She said it must feel like something. I can't think of anything that explains the feeling

Thursdaydreaming Sat 05-May-18 23:13:19

Boy am I glad I had a cs!

Had it in the morning, lied down and mostly slept that day. By the next day I was already feeling OK and walking around, and I thought to myself - if this was labour it probably wouldn't even be finished by now. I'd still be pushing! And screaming! How awful.

You vb ladies sure are brave.

Cellardoor23 Sat 05-May-18 23:14:14

Aylarose Never had any previous experience in labour, never had any mum friends. I just went from what I thought I knew at the time googling and how my body felt. I knew I wanted a natural birth.

I went into active labour at about 5am and was told I would give birth by about half 2 that afternoon. I was given gas and air at the start, didn't help the pain. Given two shots of morphine injections. Didn't help the pain. The pool didn't help the pain. Had the midwife massaging my back for god knows how long while I was biting the bar of the bed. Didn't help the pain.

Had to be moved to the labour ward as my labour wasn't progressing . I was told the morphine might have hindered the process. Was given a hormone injection.

After that I was told to have the epidural so I would sleep or I wouldn't have the energy to push. I think I had been awake for the best part of 24/25 hours at that point.

To cut the long story short. Yes I would recommend the epidural. I understand everyone is different, but if you're in so much pain 'that you think you might die' I would except the help.

BillyAndTheSillies Sat 05-May-18 23:17:51

I kept reading about and being told that between contractions there's no pain. And you can rest. No one warned me for a 28 hour long back to back labour with minute long contractions every other minute for 12 of those hours.
Had an epidural. It failed, only numbed the left hand side of my body.
Agree with other posters that say it feels like you are being torn in half, that's exactly how I described it.
But I'd do it again.

gluteustothemaximus Sat 05-May-18 23:22:30

If no 2 labours are the same, even with the same woman, then no 2 labours will ever be the same when comparing to others.

Like periods. I suffered the most excruciating period pain, whilst other women barely notice theirs.

I do wish though, that we’d just accept one another’s experiences, without question.

Carouselfish Sat 05-May-18 23:25:06

Well it's shit when it presses on your dodgy sciatic nerve so your leg hurts more than your vagina!
I just remember wanting to get OUT of my own body, like literally to get outside of myself because I was trapped in this stupid body that was just all about pain.
Next time I would have all the drugs.

Paleshelter Sat 05-May-18 23:30:11

Agree, can't describe the pain. First time the was left to long until the change of shift, then got forceps. Have had pelvic floor problems since although improved a bit with physio. Second DC had been given pessary, was told probably won't work. A few hours later was in agony having contractions, midwife didn't believe me until waters broke and took me to Labour suite. Pain was so bad, contractions non stop, remember thinking pain was so bad thought I was actually going to die. No epidural for either.

gluteustothemaximus Sat 05-May-18 23:32:35

Oh, and SPD. I forget that little gem.

Giving birth with SPD is another extra helping of agony.

Before diagnosed with it with babies 2 and 3, the position I gave birth in for number 1 was on my back with midwives either side holding and pushing my legs back as far as they could. Apparently the worst possible position for SPD.

A good 5 years of sciatica and back/hip pain followed.

PickAChew Sat 05-May-18 23:44:56

I just felt a bit constipated.

OMGafourth Sat 05-May-18 23:56:32

Severe period pain... Along with 'Chinese burn' feeling as baby pushes out. But everyone's pain threshold is different, so the level of pain will be very hard to describe.

CanIhavedessertfirst Sun 06-May-18 00:00:23

I bit my MIL when I was in labour with my eldest. I have a nice MIL too, so didn't mean to. Tbh, I thought it was my husband. Labour for me was like having period pains, constipation and trapped wind all in one. I only had gas and air first time, but second time I had pethidine, which definitely took the edge off. After the first time I swore I'd never to it again, then was pregnant within a year.

BakedBeans47 Sun 06-May-18 00:02:27

Started off like period pains which got more severe and then like your bump getting squeezed in a vice and let go very slightly every so often before being squeezed tighter. The pushing felt like having a massive shit.

BakedBeans47 Sun 06-May-18 00:04:55

Remember they cut me and I barely noticed

Yes! I tore rather than being cut but imagine your fanny being ripped open and not even noticing due to all the other shenanigans going on!

louieloulou Sun 06-May-18 01:19:48

Recently my daughter asked me the same question. I had to think about what to say very carefully. Eventually I decided upon, yes it’s painful but you can have drugs, but once you have that beautiful baby in your arms it’s all so worth it. She was happy at that- in my head I was thinking it’s the worse pain ever, it’s like trying to pass a turkey!! Thought she didn’t need to know that!

RidingMyBike Sun 06-May-18 07:23:43

@Aylarose I have no plan to do it again but would definitely opt for a cs for a future birth. I had gestational diabetes which meant an induction from 'cold' which took days and I hated all the faffing around with gel and pessaries and checking for any sign of dilation (also found that painful so needed gas and air just for that part). My waters were broken manually and the pain after that was indescribable - pethidine didn't do anything and the first epidural didn't work so I did the first lot of syntocinon contractions without one.

Now that I know it's possible for an epidural not to work there's no way I'd risk that happening to me again - cs all the way should it happen again (although ideally never again at all!).

Soubriquet Sun 06-May-18 08:49:01

I certainly felt my fanny tear.

Wasn't painful as such, as the birth was very painful, but I felt my skin stretch and then split releasing a lot of pressure.

It traumatised my Dh as he was down that end watching dd crown. I don't think ive ever seen him go so pale before. If you mention it now, he still freaks out and dd is now 5.

ElsieMc Sun 06-May-18 09:02:03

Yes, it certainly is painful. The strange thing is that I think you forget what it was really like with your first, until you go into labour with your second and then you suddenly recall. Bit late then though of course.

Having said that, I had severe morning sickness - think to twenty odd weeks. I say morning, it went on for most of the day and I had to think what people's houses might smell like before I could visit anyone in case I threw up. I had to sit with a bin by me at work and no-one (naturally) wanted to work in a room with me. I remember thinking then that I would rather have the pain of labour for one day than months of this and I still feel the same.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery Sun 06-May-18 09:32:40

I've never been able to find the words to describe the pain I felt while I was in labour with DD. I do remember, vividly, that at one point I genuinely wished for death. I know that sounds fucking dramatic and before I experienced it myself I probably would have inwardly rolled my eyes at anyone else saying something like that. But in that moment it was so painful I really did want to die. If I'd had a gun I would have shot myself just to make it stop.

Lilsquish Sun 06-May-18 09:46:28

I wish i had been more prepared and people had told me the truth (or i had come across a thread like this)

I suppose it depends on the mother to be. Will they be scared by hearing horror stories or thankful that they were prepared?

I was 42 hours. Back to back labour.

Hardly felt the contractions - but that was because the constant, unrelenting pain in my back was the most awful thing iv ever experienced.

At one point i lost my sanity and was screaming 'help me' at my OH. Who subsequently burst into tears as he had never seen me so distressed.

Gas and air and birthing pool was good for me, labour was horrible but manageable during this part.

But from the minute i got out the pool to getting that beautiful epidural was horrendous. Being ripped apart whilst someone twisting a knife in my spinal cord is how i describe it.

Ended up with emcs as well.

Im ttc no.2 and just pray i dont have another back to back labour. But at least now im prepared for it.

LoislovesStewie Sun 06-May-18 14:14:49

're my previous post, it didn't hurt, and both mine were back to back(sorry!), I remember talking to a mother who had given birth by c section a couple of days before , she didn't believe I was in labour the evening mine was born. She saw me walking to the day room to get breakfast at about 8 am and said ` baby not here yet then?'. He was born at about 10 last night, I replied. She had to come and look at the baby as she couldn't believe I was up and about so soon. It's true, no 2 labours are the same, but both of mine were fine.

usernamealreadyregistered Mon 07-May-18 18:28:06

For me, it was the feeling of having God-awful trapped wind and the worst period pain imaginable, all at once. The though occured that I might actually implode. The least agonising position was on my knees, biting the gas and air tube, sweaty palms grabbing the bars on the back of the bed. Gas and air felt like all the above, while drunk.

When that anaesthetist put the epidural in, I wanted to kiss her, as well as giving her everything I own but DH said this wasn't neccessary...as if he would know.

The rest of labour was an actual pleasure!

usernamealreadyregistered Mon 07-May-18 18:36:05

Wanted to add for context - I had a syntocinon drip induction and this was my first experience of labour. Ended up with a long labour of 17 hours total inc 2.5 hours pushing and baby arrived with the help of ventouse and, sadly, episiotomy.

Ekphrasis Mon 07-May-18 18:46:49

How does it compare to appendicitis? (Asks the woman at 39+3 who had a cs first time round.) I didn't find it as bad as that but I only laboured for about 10 hrs.

Dippyeggsandsoldiers Mon 07-May-18 19:04:25

My labour was 4 hours long, the only way I can describe it to DP is that it feels like I tried to shit out a watermelon, that was on fire. But if I can do it on gas and air alone, anyone can. I'm the biggest wimp ever when it comes to pain (cried over a paper cut this morning 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Movablefeast Mon 07-May-18 20:20:25

I had an epidural with all 3. Dd 1 was almost 9lbs dd2 was almost 10lbs and ds (my third) was almost 11lb. I still can"t believe I pushed him out. I am 5'5" and a small build so have to blame DH for the big babies. I don't want to think how the hell I would've got my monster son out with no pain relief. He had a dislocated arm for a few days after getting his mahoosive head and body out of my very average vag.

Angryosaurus Mon 07-May-18 21:07:12

Like stubbing a toe for every contraction. It really really hurts to the point you think you can’t bear it, then eases quickly to nothing.

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