Friend ‘escorting’ for money

[blinkuncertain]

She’s a single parent and does this at nights. It’s a terrible idea and I’m so against it but she keeps saying it’s the only way. What can I do?

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Keep being a friend to her, as she'll likely be in need of a good one.

Presumably it's the money that makes it the only way?

[Guiltypleasures001]

Make sure your her emergency contact just in case

[ThatchersCold]

Where’s her kid/s when she’s escorting?

[ConciseandNice]

Is it with a decent agency? If so, they should be taking care of her and vetting her clients. You can earn a lot this way if you go about it correctly and it doesn’t have to equal having sex. Not at all.

[blinkuncertain]

Well yes but I just think it will destroy her! She would like to meet a partner, but how can she when she is having to sleep with men for money?

[blinkuncertain]

Thatcher, she gets a babysitter to sleep over three nights a week!

[ThatchersCold]

I have a friend who is a single parent and does escorting. Luckily she hasn’t ever encountered anything too dodgy (except one guy trying to blackmail her because he knew her family). Not a game I would be prepared to play but as a single parent myself I can understand how tempting the money would be.

[Branleuse]

I dont see what there is you "could" do tbh. Its her business, but id hope you can keep the communication open and non judgemental and hope she doesnt get in too deep

[PinkHeart5914]

You friend is an adult with her own mind and as long as she’s doing this on her own free will then leave her to it. We don’t always agree with friends choices at the end of the day

[rebeccabecca]

A single Mum friend of mine did this for years (until she met her husband) and actually really enjoyed it.

I didn't judge her, she did it through a reputable agency and didn't;t encounter any problems at all.

It was VERY lucrative for her as well.

[MyotherUsernameisaPun]

She is an adult and she can make her own decisions about what is the right thing for her. Unless she has been coerced, it's her choice to make. Just be there for her if she needs it and don't be judgmental about it.

[FleurDelacoeur]

it doesn’t have to equal having sex.

Of course it does.

[Brazenhussy0]

Is it with a decent agency? If so, they should be taking care of her and vetting her clients.

I’m an escort. Agencies are just pimps-by-another-name who take a cut of your money for doing sweet F.A.
They don’t care about the safety of the girls, only their own income. So they send you to anyone without doing proper screening. Working independently is safer.

OP, I’ve been working in the sex industry for about a decade. I’m not emotionally damaged, I’m in a stable relationship with a man who knows what I do and supports my decision. We’re engaged and planning our wedding.

It’s not impossible to live a relatively normal and stable life whilst doing sex work, in fact it’s actually quite common.
Just be there for her in case it turns out she can’t cope with it all mentally and physically. It’s her life, her body and her mind. She’s an adult and can decide for herself what the right choice is.

[blinkuncertain]

It does involve having sex, she’s a prostitute.

[TheJoyOfSox]

And how your friend chooses to live her life affects you how?

I’m not sure if you’ve realised, but she is an adult and as such, she is responsible for her wn life and her own life choices!

Wind your neck in! You’re being quite rude.

[blinkuncertain]

Because I’m very worried about her.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

It's not exactly a completely free choice if she feels that it's the "only way" to earn enough money. That's got to be potentially damaging in itself, even if she has no bad encounters with men.

But, there is nothing you can do other than try and be a good friend. Unless you can identify a way she can make enough money without having to sell herself.

[MyotherUsernameisaPun]

'Sex worker' is a better term than prostitute, OP. It's been shown many times that when people use language like prostitute or hooker, the audience cares less about the wellbeing of the person in question and considers them less important.

If she is having sex for money - that's ok. It's still her choice. Hopefully she is doing it as safely as possible (and maybe this is an area for your concern if not) but it's not up to you what she does.

Unless you can categorically offer a better solution for how she can make the money with the same flexibility and working the same hours, you have to butt out. And tbh even if you could offer that she would still be entitled to refuse if sex work was her preferred job.

[NotTheFordType]

She's chosen to trust you with the truth about her profession.

If you say to her that actually you understand what she's doing is for the good of the future finances of her family., how can you support her, what does she say?

(And obviously apologise for the mass media kneejerk antipathy towards sex work that you displayed in the beginning, ignorant of the reality of sex work)

[user1457017537]

It’s the only profession where you start at the top and work you way down

[NotTheFordType]

FYI there are plenty of sex workers using MN. We are very inconvenient to those who seek to silence our voices. I for one will never be silenced by those who wish to shut us up with paternalistic crap.

[WrongOnTheInternet]

Unless you can categorically offer a better solution for how she can make the money with the same flexibility and working the same hours, you have to butt out.

This.

Can we really offer no better options to women in Britain than this shit? It's getting worse.

[NotTheFordType]

It’s the only profession where you start at the top and work you way down

That's nice dear. But generally people are the same height when they're lying down.

[BoxsetsAndPopcorn]

It's not her only option and as she obviously has flexible childcare there are any number of jobs she could choose instead. Many she likes it or likes the decent money it brings. Her choice.

People having sex with others in order to gain monetary renumeration is hardly anything new.

[Boredofthisnow86]

Don't be a judgey arse and just make sure she's safe.