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Do you miss your ex-friend's kids?

(8 Posts)
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley Thu 26-Apr-18 07:44:05

Strange question, I know. But I wondered if anyone else felt like this.

We were close- unhealthily close, I now know- to a couple with two kids. Their youngest DS is in DD's grade at school.

Both of EXF's kids are OTS, and my house was, apparantly, the only one they'd ever settle at outside of home, and without their parents. I had a fab relationship with both of them!

DD tells me that the youngest (call him L) still gets upset at school, because "no one comes to my parties any more" (they were great friends with my DS too- despite the 7 year age difference between their oldest and my youngest, and we'd all rock up as a family!). He's apparantly sad because DD doesn't go over to play any more.

FWIW, I would have been happy for the kids to maintain some sort of friendship. Yes, it would have been awkward- I'm not sure HOW I would have managed it, but I would have.

And fuck me I miss them!

This has all been brought back to the surface agsin because I got a message from the DH of the couple out of the blue the other day, actually apologizing for the reason we fell out! For the sake of my MH there's no way I could go back to being friends. Part of me feels all sensible and grown up 😂for coming to that conclusion, and part of me feels like I'm a selfish cunt because of the DC's.

I'm a bit of a sod for either writing War and Peace, or unintentionally drip feeding, so apologies in advance for both!

MintyT Thu 26-Apr-18 11:31:36

I get you, except the apology and ask if he can drop the children off for the afternoon, and pick them up later. without knowing the reason for the fallout if difficult to know what to advise, your MH is very important.

ChasedByBees Thu 26-Apr-18 11:45:08

Your children could reestablish the friendship without the adults needing to couldn’t they?

Birdshitbridgegotme Thu 26-Apr-18 12:08:20

I Would be polite. Accept the apology and establish a little if the friendship for the kids but don't get back to how things were. Be civil and arrange picks up and drop off play dates xx

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley Thu 26-Apr-18 12:47:41

Oh absolutely- in fact, I encouraged DD to not drop the friendship just because of the big fall out! I HATE that the kids got involved! DD stuck her tongue out at Exf once, a few weeks after the fall out, and I told her off! Not only was it rude, but she shouldn't have stooped to their level! then had a good snigger in the bathroom

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley Thu 26-Apr-18 12:52:52

Oh, and the apology is already accepted! Something along the lines of "Thanks for reaching out. No hard feelings on this side (there sort of are, they hurt me so badly it took months to recover!) I wish you well."

I was very impressed with myself, actually! I'm an immature little turd at the best of times, and this opened up so many opportunities to tear him a new one (not literally). But I stayed calm and reserved!

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley Thu 26-Apr-18 12:55:37

Drop offs for play dates would be difficult for me btw- even driving past the house makes me shiver. This is in no way meant to be dramatic: he is an abusive, drunken twat who scared my kids and made me feel undeserving of friends! She's not much better. Thank Christ for the group of friends I still have! They and DH got me through.

MintyT Fri 27-Apr-18 07:51:09

Oh if that's the case you will just have to miss the children and get on with your life, times a healer.

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