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AIBU?

To get angry with my parents over animals

23 replies

Upupupup · 24/04/2018 23:06

I am an animal lover and I hate to see animals mistreated or neglected in any way.

Which is why I hate what is happening at my parents house.

They don’t mistreat or abuse pets, but they have been really irresponsible. There are three cats living in the house, one old lady at 20 years old, a three year old and a one year old. The three year old was fine until they got the one year old, and now she wees and poos everywhere to mark her territory. They get into fights and both the young cats get very upset. My parents don’t seem to take this seriously.

But worse than that, there are also two chinchillas living there. They were bought about 8 years ago and have a 20 year life expectancy. My parents bought them after a younger sister begged for them, but predictably she grew up and didn’t care about them anymore. They are now confined to a cage in a locked room, with my mum going in once a day to top up their water and food bowl. They get no attention or time out to run :( I have told my parents to rehome them but they say it would be upsetting.

I hate thinking about it and it really upsets me but I don’t know what I can do. :(

OP posts:
Hotweather11 · 24/04/2018 23:28

I would seriously persuade them to speak to dogs trust so that the dogs can at least be rehomed Dogs need exercise Dogs trust and definitely not online selling

Wolfiefan · 24/04/2018 23:31

Dogs?
Cats and chinchillas.
Cats don't always cope well in a multi cat household. Can the cats go out? Are they neutered? Enough litter trays and food/water bowls? Tried feliway?
Chinchillas? If they cared that much to not want to rehome them then they would make more effort. FGS don't let them end up on gumtree though.

Coffeeisnecessary · 24/04/2018 23:32

Chinchilla's aren't dogs. But I agree it's not fair for them to live with no interaction. How big is their cage? Hope you can persuade them to re home them. The older cat sounds very stressed which is sad, but in reality won't be around much longer. Must be very hard to see though, surprised they aren't taking it more seriously.

KirstenRaymonde · 24/04/2018 23:37

Do you eat meat? If you do you can’t really call yourself an animal lover as there’s literally no way for an animal to make it to your plate without being mistreated.

But regardless - get them to try feliway for the cats and to make sure they have seperate spaces, food and water bowls and litter trays. This should help them feel better. Cats are territorial but can adapt.

Chinchilla’s need running space, they’re fine most of the day in a cage but need to be let out to get exercise and to dust bath. If they won’t do this they should be rehomed, I wouldn’t be able to keep quiet about it if it was in my family.

KirstenRaymonde · 24/04/2018 23:38

Keep going on and on at them, tell them they’re being very selfish

MiniLeopardInTheHouse · 24/04/2018 23:45

Hi OP. I would be concerned too. It sounds to me like one of the younger cats and the chinchillas need to be rehomed. Perhaps you could help with care in the meantime, and with finding good homes if your parents will agree? Wolfie is right, definitely not via Gumtree. Maybe you could ring the RSPCA for advice, or your local Rescues?

TatterdemalionAspie · 24/04/2018 23:45

Do you eat meat? If you do you can’t really call yourself an animal lover as there’s literally no way for an animal to make it to your plate without being mistreated.

What the fuck has that got to do with this situation? Hmm So someone eating meat means that they can't care about distressed animals being kept in unsuitable conditions? Hmm

Allmyshilldren · 24/04/2018 23:47

They need to be deboned, those conditions aren’t really acceptable. Is it possible you could take some of these animals on yourself as a compromise?

Allmyshilldren · 24/04/2018 23:48

FFS rehomed not deboned!

PositivelyPERF · 24/04/2018 23:49

I wouldn’t want people to think you’re a twat for making that comment about meat KirstenRaymonde, so best not to go on about it. 😒

PositivelyPERF · 24/04/2018 23:50

Allmyshilldren a bit extreme, don’t ya think? 😆

Upupupup · 24/04/2018 23:53

I’m actually vegan @KirstenRaymonde but I don’t see how that’s relevant to this.

OP posts:
Upupupup · 24/04/2018 23:54

I live in a rented flat so I’m not allowed pets unfortunately.

OP posts:
JiminyBillyBob · 24/04/2018 23:55

If I were you I’d be marching in and taking the chinchillas myself and then rehoming. Who cares if your mother finds it “upsetting”??

user1471553214 · 25/04/2018 01:27

The weeding/pooing cat isn’t marking territory, it’s a sign of stress.
Obviously I’d be seriously trying to get them to rehome the chinchys and younger cats but if there’s no way then the Cats Protection have some very useful factsheets on line about reducing cat stress in multi cat households.
Chip away at them though - don’t give up!

mathanxiety · 25/04/2018 01:33

How are your parents apart from this?

Any other signs of hoarding?

TeddyIsaHe · 25/04/2018 01:36

I’m sorry op no advice, but Allmyshilldren - that autocorrect Grin

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 25/04/2018 01:52

I would also agree they need rehoming into a family who can give them more tlc, no idea how you can convince them though unless you can take them yourself hence convince no stress will be given to the poor Furballs

pallisers · 25/04/2018 01:58

The first thing I would do if I were you is call up the sister who wanted the chinchilas and tell her she needs to deal with this situation right now. She made them get them - she needs to deal with the fact that her pets are being treated horribly.

If that doesn't work, I think you should organise it and then just go in and take the chinchillas away and rehome them. Just do it. The thought of animals who should be living in the wild living in a room in a cage day in day out -- horrible.

The cats are probably stressed out of their tiny minds but not sure whether it warrants you sweeping in and rehoming like that. Maybe find someone who would take the 1 year old and say it to your parents as in "x would love a 1 year old cat - any way you could let her go"?

I can't imagine how stressful this is for you.

Ekphrasis · 25/04/2018 03:20

We passed a pony onto a local farm when we out grew her and went to uni etc for their kids. After an initial positive period she was ignored and my mother got increasingly frustrated. She offered to take her back after a couple of years citing kids flown nest etc but did so with the intention of getting her healthy and selling her to a decent home, which she did.

Could you enthuse about having the chinchillas or persuade your sister to ask for them back then arrange a new home?

To be fair I'd march in and re home them as said above but this option could be more tactful.

Allmyshilldren · 25/04/2018 09:11

Positively and Teddy It’s one of my better autocorrect fails Grin

Are the chinchillas otherwise clean, healthy, well fed etc? I don’t think lack of human interaction would bother them much but it could be an issue to rehome them if they are not used to being handled. Could you buy them a bigger cage and visit regularly to give them a good run around the room?

witchofzog · 25/04/2018 09:19

kirsten have a Biscuit (I presume it's vegan)

Op your parents are being utterly selfish. Saying it would be upsetting when they barely give the animals any attention is making it all about them and not on the animals best interests at all. The chinchillas in particular must be thoroughly miserable. I would tell them how it is. Tell them it is selfish, ask how they would like to sit in the same room with no stimulation day in day out, and see what they say

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mathanxiety · 25/04/2018 20:11

Could you call the RSPCA or your parents' LA?

Are there guidelines or by-laws about the number or type of animals that can be kept in the average residence that your parents might have fallen afoul of?

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